Sunday, May 01, 2005

Apples v Oranges: 'D'

Which is the best 'D'? The nominees are:

  1. "House Of D" - it's got Téa Leoni but the reviews are tepid. Then again, FOX-TV Orlando says "D-lightful and D-licious", and StudioStooge.com says "Breathtakingly brilliant!".
  2. Schoolly D - rapper whose real name is Jesse B. Weaver. I'm not familiar with his work, but I chose him over Chuck D (real name Carlton Ridenhour), Mike D (real name Michael Diamond - any relation?) and Heavy D (real name Dwight Meyers) because he has the most original nickname. What does it even mean, Schoolly? I want to be called Collegey P.
  3. Hepatitis D - a liver disease caused by a virus. Consider this candidate like the really bad contestants at the start of "American Idol".
  4. Maitre D' - snooty head waiter and an opportunity for typecasting (Alphonse Martell 12 times).
  5. Sunny D - orange-like drink. "D" is short for Delight. Companies (like people) should not be allowed to give themselves nicknames. That goes for you, too, McDonalds.
  6. "Umberto D" - 1952 film by neo-realist master, Vittorio De Sica. I haven't seen it, but FOX-TV Orlando says it's "awesomely outrageous" and StudioStooge.com calls it "the D-finitive D-piction of the D-personalization of Modern Life".
  7. Answer D on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" - it's the funny answer in the early rounds, the class clown. Then it sobers up and becomes one of the more likely answers (along with its pal C) in the later rounds.

And the winner is: Vitamin D, of course. Vitamin D keeps Rickets (the disease with the ugliest name) at bay.

1 comment:

Shell said...

Dee-lite
Dee Dee Ramone
Billy Dee Williams
Tenacious D