Ireland: Shamrock Ceremony

I love, love, love this photo of George W. Bush and Bertie Ahern at the 2006 Shamrock ceremony at the White House. I even watched the video at the White House site to see why W. was making that face. I think he was going to make one of his hilarious quips but thought better of it.

NPR tries to get to the bottom of this Ceremony - Who started it? When? Where does the shamrock come from?

A better question might be: why does the U.S. government waste so much time each year pandering to such a small-potatoes nation? Does it really buy that many Irish-American votes?

Thanks to Psyclops' Universal Translator, here's the White House press release for the 2001 ceremony, pimp-style.

Music: Tribute Bands 2

Eric suggests two actual tribute bands: Petty Theft (like it! and they're local) and the Back Doors (this is an Irish band).

And speaking of Ireland, Jim suggests U22 and Something Else Happens!.

Music: Tribute Bands

I tried to come up with some names for Tribute Bands. Some of these already exist.

• Fauxasis
  
• Phony! Phoni! Phoné!
  
• Pretend Pretenders
  
• The Replacement Replacements
  
• Hologram Parsons
  
• Abbaloney
  
• Copycat Stephens
  
• The Step-Mamas And The Step-Papas
  
• Boney Emulators
  

Advertising: Using Well-Known Songs

Two TV commercials in a row: KFC and Subaru. KFC used "Sweet Home Alabama". Subaru used "Every Day Is A Winding Road". KFC: bad, bad choice. Song appeals to a narrow demographic. Unclear connection to product (Kentucky or Alabama?). Subaru: excellent choice. No one doesn't like Sheryl Crow. Clear connection: All Wheel Drive good for winding roads.

What's the best use of a song in a commercial? Worst?

TV: Round-up

• Season 3 of "Little Britain" starts on BBC America on Friday night.
  
• Or you can watch the new "Doctor Who" on the Sci-Fi Channel on Friday. Christopher Eccleston is the latest Doctor, and Billie Piper is his assistant.
  
• Scientologist Isaac Hayes is quitting "South Park" because it made fun of Scientology.
  
• If you missed the early years of "The Shield", Spike is showing three episodes every Wednesday, starting with the pilot.
  
• The VW ads with Peter Stormare ("Fargo") are starting to grow on me.
  
• OK, so this isn't TV-related, but Annie Proulx spits out sour grapes about "Crash" beating "Brokeback" (she wrote the original short story).
  
• Worst sitcom title in living memory: "The New Adventures Of Old Chrsitine".
  

Questions: Some Answers

• Why do Fast Food joints have "limited time only" offerings of certain items, like Whataburger's delicious Honey Barbecue Chicken Strip Sandwich? (The McRib is probably a better example, but I've never eaten one.) Are they a "loss leader" to get people in the habit of coming to your restaurant?
  
• Does it hurt to ask? No.
  
• Is there a gayer song than Pete Shelley's "Homosapien"? (Sample lyrics: "Homo superior, in my interior.") Probably not.
  
• What are the mathematics of "Deal Or No Deal"? (Play online.) Wikipedia discusses the Optimal Strategy - it really boils down to an individual's aversion to risk. I'm not sure I agree with the statement: "The expected winning at any point in the game is the mean of the values contained in the unopened boxes". But I have no knowledge of statistics to back me up on that.
  

Lyrics Quiz: Two Words

Shell posted some more lyrics fragments as a comment to a previous post.

1. Novices
   
2. naughty nanny
   
3. dark sarcasm
   
4. I hiccuped
   
5. billion castaways
   
6. military two-step
   
7. diesel train
   
8. Chinese chicken
   
9. elementary penguins
   
10. DA man
    
11. directing traffic
    
12. kissing baboons
    
13. mom's spaghetti
    
14. menfolk standing
    

Oscars: Jon Stewart

MSNBC has an excellent review of Jon Stewart's Oscar hosting. Basically, those stuck-up Hollywood types can't laugh at themselves, so they won't ask him back.

I missed this, but apparently Tom Hanks swore because they played him on stage with the "Forrest Gump" theme.

Oscars: Chuck Workman

Bloody hell. We're only halfway through the Oscars and we've had three Chuck Workman montages already: Film Noir, "Important Issue" movies (nicely deflated by Jon Stewart), and now epics. I don't get the point of these. Is it so cinephiles can show off their knowledge of film history? It's time someone said that Chuck Workman is an ignorant hack.

Popular Culture: Feuds

1804: Alexander Hamilton v Aaron Burr.


1878: Mark Twain v Bret Harte.


2001: "Freaks & Geeks" creator v "That 70s Show" creator.


2006: Joe Rogan v a student.

Lyrics Quiz: Two Words

I've got two words for you. Name song.

1. "..leper messiah."
   
2. "Vanity, insecurity."
   
3. "..bullhorn crackles.."
   
4. "..workman's wages.."
   
5. "Jacob wrestled.."
   
6. "..sex ornate."
   
7. "..fanatical, criminal."
   
8. "..unborn chicken.."
   
9. "Academic inspiration.."
   
10. "..good cahoot.."
    

Combos: Product & Movie Title

Eric suggests some Brand Name/Movie Title combos.

• Tootsie Roll (invalid - one can't be completely contained within the other)
  
• Snow White Castle (okay - but not the Disney version!
  
• Who Framed Roger Rabbit-o-honey (invalid overlap)
  
• Falling Downy (ditto)
  
• Peter Pan (complete overlap - rejected)
  
• Jurassic Park Ride 'n Fly (could add "Fly Away Home" to make a triple)
  
• Fletch-a-sketch (Nope)
  
• Minute Maid In Manhattan (prefix with "New York")
  
• Neating Raoul (What's that product? Anyway, it ain't legit.)
  

Fashion: Oscars

The Guardian proffers an Oscars Fashion Quiz. Can you beat my score of 6/10?

Rioting: Ireland

Does this picture capture Ireland perfectly, or wha? A rioter throwing a wheelbarrow at Riot Police (Riot Gardaí?).

Words: "Yowsah"

I was watching a Warner Brothers cartoon called "The CooCoo Nut Grove" (1936). It caricatures many popular stars of the time. One is an avian bandleader named Ben Birdie who exclaims, "Yowsah!" This is based on Ben Bernie, who popularised the word "Yowsah", and would call it out between and during songs.

Does it derive from "yes sir" or the German "Jauchzer"? After reading this article on Runes and Yodeling, I'm leaning towards the latter. "By Juchzer, Jauchzer and Juchzer [cheers], we mean calls which come very close to being musical, but which stand somewhere between yodels and inarticulate cries."

If you're like me, you thought "Yowsah" originated with Chic and "Dance Dance Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah)" (sample here). (Wasn't the "Yowsah Yowsah Yowsah" bit used by Mike Murphy on RTE Radio to introduce his really bad song segment?)

You can hear some Ben Bernie recordings at Robert's Delightful Old Schmaltz Archives

Combos: Product & Movie Title

Remember the fun we had combining product names and band names? Can we recapture that magic by combining brand names and movie titles?

• Brokeback Mountain Dew
  
• Marathon Manwich
  
• Hebrew National Velvet
  
• Swiss Miss Congeniality
  
• My Left Footjoy Ride
  

The last one is a triple, and is valid under our old rule: if the overlap stops part way through a word, the rest of the word must be the next overlap.

Dogs: Fake Testicles

Rich pointed me to Neuticles, "testicular implantation for dogs". They give a dog his self-esteem after being neutered. I wanted to know if they made beef jerky flavoured ones, but Rich thinks it would be too traumatic for a dog if it ate its own balls. I think dogs are too stupid to realise what they've done.

In almost-related news, the band with the worst name in the history of Rock, Test Icicles, have broken up.

Advertising: Sellouts

Who is the bigger sellout? Parker Posey for appearing in a Pepsi ad with Jimmy Fallon, or Jane's Addiction for allowing a Jack Daniels commercial to use "Jane Says"? Jane's Addiction.

Internet: The Onion AV Club

The Onion's AV Club has a feature this week called Random Rules, where they ask five people to set their MP3 players on "shuffle" and comment on the tracks. Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse is writing songs with Johnny Marr, David Berman of Silver Jews has a theory about cross-eyed women, and David Cross once stalked the Who. (I set my Creative Zen Micro on random, and got Boo Hewerdine, Mansun and Beechwood Sparks.)

Music: Title Tracks

I've made my first contribution to Wikipedia, adding one entry to their list of albums that don't contain their title track. (The artist must have sung a song with that title elsewhere.)

Sports: Horrific Injuries

Shell has ruined my appetite by sending me this photo of Totti's ankle injury. Here's an animated gif of Joe Theisman's infamous injury.
To help you recover, here's Rebecca Theisman.

Lyrics Quiz: Animals

Inspired by Shell's "animal bands" post, here's a lyrics quiz on the same subject.

1. Animals strike curious poses. They feel the heat, the heat between me and you.
   
2. I’d rather be...I’d rather be with...I’d rather be with an animal.
   
3. Feed animals in the zoo. Then later, a movie, too. And then home.
   
4. And I want and I need and I lust animal. Take me, tame me. Make me your animal.
   
5. They stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast.
   
6. So you ride yourselves over the fields and you make all your animal deals and your wise men don't know how it feels...
   
7. Do you know how animals die? Kitchen aromas aren’t very homely.
   
8. He saw an animal up on a hill. Chewing up so much grass until she was filled. He saw milk comin' out but he didn't know how. "Ah, think I'll call it a cow."
   
9. Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals. Everybody happy as the dead come home.
   
10. A long time ago when the earth was green, there were more kinds of animals than you'd ever seen.
    

Newspapers: Headlines

Is it wrong to laugh when you see the headline, "Ex-Governor Apologizes for Ogling Woman"? "Ogling" is a funny word (but only if pronounced correctly, as "ogue-ling", not "oggling"). Grainy picture of the 24-year-old woman at WBAL. His note to the woman is a classic non-apology apology:

"Dear Ms. Krum, Embarrass you intentionally, never. You have handled the affair as a trouper. Sorry you were put through this 'ordeal.'"

The 84-year-old William Donald Schaefer sounds like another one of those unreconstructed Demmycrats, like Robert Byrd, who should have been put out to pasture long ago.

Magazines: "Smash Hits"

The British pop magazine "Smash Hits" is ceasing publication. "Smash Hits" was a guilty pleasure for me back in the 1980s. The latest copy and a packet of Revels was quite a treat for young Patanoia. If you judged a magazine by its cover (and pull-out poster), it was aimed at teenage girls. But if you read the bits (or Bitz) on the inside, it was very silly and very funny. And they sneaked in some quality music too. I bought my first Go-Betweens album after reading their review of "Liberty Belle And The Black Diamond Express". This Guardian article sums up its appeal well. The Guardian blog has an additional tribute with reader comments. Lots of memories. No one mentions the "fright wigs" (e.g. Tina Turner), but the Sunday Herald (linked above) does. (They also mention how SH asked Billy Gibbons out of ZZ Top: "Do you wear your beard in, or out, of the bed-clothes at night?")

Cartoons: New Yorker

One-size-fits-all caption for New Yorker cartoons.

Music: Johnny Bush

Happy Birthday to "the great Johnny Bush" (that's how he refers to himself on a station ID for The Range). He was known as "The Country Caruso" until afflicted by Spasmodic Dysphonia (the same disorder that made Diane Rehm so hard to listen to). Fortunately, vocal treatments have enabled Johnny to start singing again.

Among the songs played on The Range this morning was "Toy Telephone" from 1974. Another one of those "so maudlin it's funny" songs that I love. Sadly, I can't find the track or lyrics online, so you'll have to call your local country music station. A father who is missing his daughter duets with a toy telephone that says things like, "Let's get together!" and "I love you!" (Telephone voice by Stella Parton, little sister of Dolly.)

Bonus: Johnny talks about a heartwarming tribute at a Pat Green concert.

TV: Oprah/Tom Cruise

VH1's Best Week Ever gives us Oprah and Tom Cruise - the way it should've been.

Photography: Steichen

A rare photograph just sold for $2.9m. It's "The Pond-Moonlight" (1904) by Edward Steichen. I'd pay $1.85m for it.

The previous record was a cowboy photo by Richard Prince that isn't even a proper photo. He photographed a Marlboro ad. And there are multiple copies. He got $1.248m. I'd pay $12.48.

Edward Weston's "The Breast" (1921) fetched $822,400. Worth $105,000.

You can get a photo of Kristen Bell and a puppy for $4.50 on eBay. I'd pay $2.9m for that!

Animals Used More Than Once In Band Names

Animal used more than once in a band's name. May be both singular and plural. Cannot be the name of an animal, like Lassie. May be part of a word. Must be logical.

Correct:
Yardbirds
The Birds

Incorrect:
T-Rex
T-Bone Burnett

Movies: "Munich"

For those of you who have seen "Munich", here's a 1995 thesis by a Marine Corps student. He analyses the success of independent covert assassination teams, compared to more bureaucratic "in-house" teams. Someone should write a business book, promoting "Wrath Of God"-style small, persistent teams. I was surprised that so many details in the film are also in the book upon which it's based.

IMDb's list of goofs - apparently, you shouldn't say 'Mazel tov' to an expecting mother or father, as Golda Meir does.

Lyrics Quiz: Guns

Why are all these bleeding heart liberals making such a big deal about Dick Cheney gunning down his hunting partner? Like they've never filled a friend full of lead. Anyway, here's a Lyrics Quiz on the theme of Guns and Shooting People.

1. Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
   
2. When I was just a baby, my mama told me, "Son, always be a good boy; don't ever play with guns." But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
   
3. I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady now. You know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
   
4. In the mornin you go gunnin' for the man who stole your water. And you fire till he is done in, but they catch you at the border.
   
5. [Title], he shot me down. [Title], I hit the ground. [Title], that awful sound. [Title], my baby shot me down.
   
6. [Title] I shot my baby. [Title] Dead, oh, shot her dead.
   
7. Got my finger on the trigger, I'm gonna pull it. I'm picked to click now. I'm a son-of-a-gun.
   
8. When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come? With your hands on your head, or on the trigger of your gun?
   
9. She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain like a bullet to your brain.
   

Music: Realtors/Ukelele

Video from the Dallas Morning News of Ebby Halliday singing and playing the ukelele.

Phrases: "Writing On The Wall"

In the British Isles, we say "the writing's on the wall", but in the U.S. it seems more common to say, "the handwriting's on the wall". The origin is the Book of Daniel (not the cancelled NBC series).

I think the British version is correct. My guess is that Americans have combined/confused the mysterious "hand" with the "writing".

Compare and contrast "The Rubaiyyat of Omar Khaiyyam", as translated by Edward Fitzgerald:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

(But note the alternate translation by Robert Graves and Omar Ali-Shahat at the end of this page.)

And, speaking of British-American differences, how do you pronounce "2001: A Space Odyssey"?

Maritime Communications

Did you hear about the "message in a bottle" that made it all the way from New York to England? And the nasty letter that the bottle finder sent back to the bottle launcher? 'Henry Biggelsworth' of Dorset wrote:

While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path and speed of oceanic currents, I have another name for it - litter. You Americans don't seem to be happy unless you are mucking up somewhere. If you wish to foul your own nest, all well and good. But please refrain in the future from fouling mine.

What is it about Dorset that breeds such self-righteous prigs? The hectoring, anti-American tone of this tirade reminds me of another Dorset writer, Rarb, who used to maintain a blog called "Ranting Rarb".

Is the story a hoax? Or did 'Biggelsworth' just use a false name & address?

Celebrities: Harvey Weinstein's Girlfriend

Harvey Weinstein's girlfriend designs dresses - and benefits from his influence. She's quite the looker - and too good for that fat bastard. (Looks like he had liposuction, and has excess skin where his chins used to be.)

Update: Better picture of her.

Monday Miscellany

• I forgot the cruellest Superbowl commercial of all - the Ameriquest one where a patient's family think the doctors have killed him. It was 7th in USA Today's Ad Meter, and that awful FedEx one came in 3rd.
  
• I hesitated when writing "cruellest" - one "l" or two? Depends on whether you prefer UK or US English. Here's a comprehensive list of British and American spelling differences.
  
• Who knew "Sleepless In Seattle" was so creepy?
  
• A handy way to remember how to spell Mnemonic: Most nerds enjoy memorising obscure nicotine imbecile chinstrap.
  
• The Guardian's Dorian Lynskey has created a music map based on the London Underground (link to PDF at end of article).
  

Advertising: Superbowl

Is it just me or is there too much cruelty in commercials nowadays? Today we saw a guy throw a cellphone at someone's head, and a guy allow his friend to be mauled by a bear. Worst of all was the FedEx commercial where the caveman kicks a baby dinosaur (anachronism!) and then gets stomped on by a big dinosaur. I didn't like this commercial anyway because, let's face it, cavemen are ugly.

On the other hand, that "Capote" sequel looks good, where he goes after Tom Cruise.

Sports: Superbowl

I know this is one of Shell's favourite games (when he's not playing with his Carly Patterson dolls): guess which songs the Superbowl Half-Time performer will play. This year it's the Rolling Stones. Here are my guesses (no more than 3 allowed).

1. "Start Me Up" - obvious, but such a dynamic riff.
   
2. "Rain Fall Down" - surely they'll plug the new album? This is the only track I know (from some commercial).
   
3. "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" - they'll have to acknowledge Motown - either this (which they played in Detroit in 2005) or "Dancing In The Streets". (Is Bowie in Detroit?)
   

Bonus guess: Aretha Franklin will sing either "Pink Cadillac" or the National Anthem.

Sports: Carly Patterson

Shell is excited about gymnast Carly Patterson starting a singing career. He probably likes the quote from Joe Simpson (Jessica and Ashlee's dad): "I'm the kind of guy that likes to do things out of the box. ... Carly presents an exciting opportunity." I'm sure Shell will buy her CD and keep it beside his Carly box.

Film: Nina Persson

Cardigans front woman Nina Persson is co-starring in a new Swedish film called "Om Gud Vill" (or "God Willing"). You can watch the trailer (in which she sings a new song). She plays a Finnish woman, which is quite a stretch. If she played a woman without the cutest dimple in the history of Rock & Roll, well, you might as well give her the Oscar now.

Speaking of Oscars, get over to Enterpool and jump in their free Oscars contest.

Bonus photo of Nina in her fictional band in the film, Juli and the Monliths.

P.S. The song Nina sings in the trailer sounded vaguely familiar - I Googled the lyrics and sure enough, it's a cover. Listen for yourself first.

Movies: "Brokeback To The Future"

Defamer calls it the best "Brokeback Mountain" parody trailer: "Brokeback To The Future".

Advertising: Six Flags

Now we know who plays the old man in those annoying Six Flags commercials. Damn - I was sure it was Steven Soderbergh.

TV: Fox

Some unsolicited advice for Fox TV.

• I don't watch "24" but I've heard the rumours they might kill off Kiefer Sutherland's character this year. This would be better: Have him fall off a cliff, and then keep a camera trained on his motionless body. As the rest of the action continues, one corner of the screen would always show his body. For the rest of that episode. For the next episode. And for five or six episodes after that. Hey, we're only talking about 7 hours of real time. But the suspense would be killing, as viewers stare at Kiefer waiting for a sign of life. Finally, someone finds the body, feels his pulse, and says, "Yeah, he's dead."
  
• "Bones" - get rid of that "Buffy" lunkhead, and add an identical twin for Emily Deschanel. She has a fascinating face. If she plays opposite herself, you could see her in profile and full on. (Or you could cast her sister Zooey.)
  
• Bring back "Arrested Development".
  
• "Skating With Celebrities" - weaken a patch of ice on the rink. We, the viewers, know where it is - the celebrities don't!
  
• "The Quahog Informant" - don't change a thing.
  
• And then, next season on "24", start with Jack being buried, and show his body in the coffin ALL SEASON LONG. Fans will be waiting for the moment when he wakes up and escapes from the grave - but it never happens!
  

Music: AC/DC

It's agreed. "Rock & Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" is one of AC/DC's weaker songs, but the intro sounds really cool on the Nike commercial.

And the title is very poor legal advice. I think you'll find that Rock & Roll can qualify as noise pollution if played at sufficient volume. Even My Bloody Valentine's Kevin Shields complained about his neighbour's music.

What's the worst advice you've ever heard in a song? "A-keep away from Runaround Sue"? "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife"?

Music: MP3 Blogs

You Ain't No Picasso has two songs by Jack White's side project, The Raconteurs (I love the "Green Screen" look of their web site). "Steady As She Goes is the better of the two songs.

Business: Enron Emails

As featured in the Dallas Morning News, a company called InBoxer has given us the ability to search Enron's emails.

They're running a contest to find the funniest, most embarrassing, and most outrageous emails (you can win an Apple iPod Shuffle in each category). Registration is free and fairly painless.

First, I searched for "bear", because you can always be guaranteed to find a good bear joke. They have the classic "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?" joke, and the 80-year-old with a pregnant young wife joke.

Then I searched on "abramoff":

Rick, good to see you today. excited about the prospects of the new office,kitchen cabinet/advisory team, etc.

as we discussed, jack abramoff is joining barry richards' law firm,
Greenberg Traurig, on january 1. richards was just named lawyer of the year
by the American lawyer while abramoff is arguably the most influential and
effective gop lobbyist in congress. i share several clients with him and
have yet to see him lose a battle. he also is very close to Delay and could
help enormously on that front. raised $ for bush. until december 31 he can
be reached at 202-661-3851. he assistant is Susan Ralston.

And I came across this one searching for "George W. Bush". It's from a woman called Cara.

Hi Honey,

I hope you are having a good day, I sure enjoyed playing a bit this morning.
(Although I had a little bout of blue bush) I just love having you around all
the time.

What the hell is "blue bush"?

Literary Miscellany

• Garrison Keillor reviews "American Vertigo: Traveling America in the Footsteps of Tocqueville" by Bernard-Henri Lévy in the New York Times. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out," he concludes.
  
• For many of us, Eudora Welty is just a belch gag on "The Simpsons". The Dallas Morning News reviews "Early Escapades", and quotes this verse she wrote about a heavyset dorm supervisor at college:
  

  "Where'er she goes forever more,
  The Butler bosom goes before.
  But still and all, I think you'll find
  That most of Butler goes behind."

  
  Sounds like she would have enjoyed the Simpsons reference.
  
• I'm currently reading "Wodehouse: A Life". There's something unsettling about Wodehouse's character, as portrayed here. While quite amiable and naive in some ways (as with the infamous Nazi broadcasts), he was a disciplined writer and "clinically decisive" in business. But what a funny man. After the French authorities ruled that he was no longer "dangerous to the Republic", he wrote to a friend:
  

  Up till now, of course, the Republic has been ducking into hallways when I come along, swallowing nervously and whispering 'Cheese it, boys! Here comes Wodehouse!'

  
  
• Arthur Golden, author of "Memoirs Of A Geisha" has admitted that he was never actualy a geisha. He was merely a courtesan.
  
• Will Oprah have Krusty the Klown on her show next, and attack his autobiography as "self-serving with many glaring omissions"? How about Monty Burns and his "Will There Be Another Rainbow?" (Interesting web find: a Disney artist called Carl Barks made many collectible paintings of Scrooge McDuck, including one called "Always Another Rainbow".
  

Movies: Mixed-Up Titles

Mixing up movie titles - older movies this time.

• "Animal Farmhouse" - Farmyard animals rise up against the humans at a college Fraternity. But the pigs prove to be as corrupt as the humans they overthrew, justifying their conduct with the slogan, "Four kegs good, two kegs bad".
  
• "The Princess Motorcycle Diaries" - An awkward teenage girl discovers that she is related to a South American revolutionary. As he grooms her to succeed him, she learns that true beauty comes from within, and that Che Guevara is an asshole.
  
• "The Magnificent Seven Brides For Se7en Brothers" - A Mexican village hires seven gunfighting women to defend them against seven serial killer brothers who use the Seven Deadly Sins as their "calling card". Musical.
  
• "Beyond The Sea Inside" - Suffering from an illness that causes him to look 20 years older than he should, Bobby Darin fights for his right to die.
  
• "The Gods Must Be Crazy/Beautiful" - An African tribe encounters civilisation for the first time when a self-destructive teen falls from the sky.
  
• "'Round Midnight Run" - A bounty hunter must transport an alcoholic sax player from Paris to Los Angeles.
  

Music: History

Who was #1 on the day you were born? Me? "He's So Fine" by the Chiffons. Did George Harrison steal the melody for "My Sweet Lord"? You be the judge.

Lyrics Quiz: Devils

Name these devilish songs:

1. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me.
   
2. When I was a little boy (when I was just a boy) and the devil would call my name (when I was just a boy).
   
3. I have held the hand of the devil. It was warm in the night. I was cold as a stone.
   
4. I've been searching for the daughter of the devil himself. I've been searching for an angel in white.
   
5. There's a thousand pretty women just waitin' out there. They're all livin' devil-may-care. And I'm just the devil with love to spare.
   
6. If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5, then the devil is 6.
   
7. I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention. The devil take your stereo and your record collection!
   
8. The devil will find work for idle hands to do. I stole and I lied, and why? Because you asked me to!
   
9. Now lemme tell you a story. The devil he has a plan. A bag o' bones in his pocket. Got anything you want.
   
10. And the devil's not in the details, no, the devil is in my pants.
    

Movies: Expletives

Wikipedia has a list of films that use the F-word a lot. #1 is "The Devil's Rejects", directed by Rob Zombie. I'm surprised that "Pulp Fiction" is only #15 and "The Commitments" a measly #46.

TV: "Bleak House"

I enjoyed the first part of "Bleak House" on PBS tonight. Casting was very fine - undoubtedly Johnny Vegas's best work (although I hear his Bottom is magnificent), and I didn't recognise Matthew Kelly.

I didn't like the "modern" elements, like the eerie wind noise that came out of nowhere, and the whip pans. And the music drew too much attention to itself.

I noticed that the interior doors were the same as doors today: six "faux" panels, with the top two smaller than the other four. When did this become the standard design for doors? Isn't it about time we had a new design? (Bob Vila has a good article on doors, and he names the different parts: panels, mullion, rails, stiles.)

(Read the novel online.)

Logos: Ovals

Intel - just another oval logo. Now, an oval inside an oval - that's classy!

Winter Sports: Lindsey Jacobellis

I thought the Visa's commercial featuring snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis was poorly conceived, but apparently that's because I misunderstood it. According to the USOC:

In the spot, Jacobellis is visibly nervous while preparing to compete in a qualifying race. Her coach makes numerous attempts to curb her anxiety using a number of sports psychology tactics. When those motivational efforts prove unsuccessful, he asks her to imagine that her Visa Check Card has just been stolen. At that moment she regains her confidence and takes off for the starting gate.

See, I thought she had lost her competitive edge, so the coach said her card was stolen in order to "fire her up". But then the voiceover nullifies that by talking about Visa's "Zero Liability". Surely I'm not the only one confused? No. Still, she has a nice smile. Who is the actor who plays her coach? He seems familiar.

Movies: "School For Scoundrels"

They're remaking "School For Scoundrels, or How To Win Without Actually Cheating!". I don't remember much from the 1960 original, but you can't go wrong with Terry-Thomas, Alastair Sim, and Peter Jones.

The film was based on the slim "Lifemanship" books of Stephen Potter (available from Amazon). The books describe amusing "ploys" to gain "upmanship" on your opponents in sport or life. One example (that I've used myself on occasion) is to ask a fellow-golfer whether he breathes in or out during his downswing. It should have the same effect as asking a centipede how it walks. As Branch Rickey said about baseball, "A full mind is an empty bat."

The new version will star Jon Heder from "Napoleon Dynamite" and Billy Bob Thornton, as well as Sarah Silverman and David Cross, so it might have a chance of being funny. Then again, the director did "Road Trip" and "Starsky & Hutch", so my enthusiasm is curbed, leashed, muzzled and fixed.

Movie Quote Quiz: Baby

Name the movies from whence these "Baby" quotes cometh.

1. Hasta la vista, baby.
   
2. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies.
   
3. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
   
4. The dingo's got my baby!
   
5. Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato.
   
6. Please baby, please baby, please baby, baby, baby, please!
   
7. I can't have a baby, I have a 12 o'clock lunch meeting!
   
8. For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?
   
9. Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
   
10. Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
    

MP3: Fox

Fluxblog has a song I hadn't heard in years - "S-s-single Bed" by Fox. Available on a 1976 compilation at Amazon, along with "You Sexy Thing", "Afternoon Delight", "Howzat", "Jeans On" and "Devil Woman". Now that's what I call music! Lead singer Noosha Fox has been compared (vocally anyway) to Clare Grogan, Macy Gray and Alison Goldfrapp.

Internet: Million Dollar Homepage Clones

The inevitable Million Dollar Homepage imitators have arrived. Million Dollar Screenshot. Shell sent me a link to Dead Body Guy - he's selling advertising space (and mugs and t-shirts). I like Fill My Room! - for every dollar donated, he'll add a Lego block to the stack in the corner. So far he has 524 blocks. Meanwhile, the original has suffered a Distributed Denial Of Service attack, and has received a "ransom note".

TV: "Golden Globes"

Blogger SaveManny has screenshots of Isaac Mizrahi fondling Scarlett Johansson's breasts on E!. (And he makes the obvious "golden globes" joke.) I love the inset picture of Ryan Seacrest and Debbie Matenopoulos - Seacrest seems to be asking, "Why would anyone want to touch those things?" Are we sure that was really Mizrahi and not the guy who posed as him at the MTV Awards on Buzzkill?

Music Videos: 2005 Top 50

Mr. Packwood sent me the link for the Top 50 Music Videos of 2005. "So," I replied, "any you recommend?" "Actually, I couldn't be arsed to watch any of them." Bloody typical.

Most of them are in the hated ".mov" format which I'm boycotting. I did watch a Danish band's video, "No Balance Palace" by Kashmir - it's interesting only to see if the girl on the right has a wardrobe malfunction (not on my choppy viewing). Bloody hell, they got Lou Reed and David Bowie to guest on their album. How did they do that? Hear Uncle Lou. Hear the Thin White Duke.

Definitely check out "Low C" by Supergrass, a wonderfully warm-hearted documentary/travelogue to the town of Weeki Wachee in Florida. They've got mermaids!

Music: Song Tapper

Try Song Tapper. You tap out the melody of a song (using your spacebar) and it tries to guess the song. Could be useful (eventually) if you have a tune stuck in your head. I say "eventually" because, right now, it knows less than 4000 songs and it's success rate is about 50%. (It cheats by guessing about 10 titles each time.) It got "I Walk The Line", "I Like To Be In America" (that was a gimme), "Bohemian Rhapsody", "When I'm 64" and "Yellow Submarine", but didn't get "Walk On The Wild Side", "Candle In The Wind" or "Heart Of Gold". It didn't know "Heart Of Gold" but it has now added it to its database - and it guessed it right the next time I played it.

TV: Trivia Quiz

For each group, identify what they have in common.

1. "Home Improvement", "M*A*S*H", "NYPD Blue", "The Larry Sanders Show", "Sports Night"
   
2. "American Idol", "The Tracey Ullman Show", "The Arsenio Hall Show"
   
3. "The Rockford Files", "Hill Street Blues", "Law & Order", "NYPD Blue"
   
4. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Get Smart", "The Critic", "JAG"
   
5. David Schwimmer ("Friends"), Alan Alda/Mike Farrell/Harry Morgan/Jamie Farr ("M*A*S*H"), Danny DeVito ("Taxi"), Steve Buscemi ("The Sopranos")
   

Photography: Lou Reed

Lou Reed's photos of New York. His photos are being exhibited at two New York galleries thorugh February 25th. (And you can pre-order a book of these photos for 50 freaking dollars.) Lou will be playing at the Winter Olympics (along with Andrea Bocelli, Ricky Martin, and Avril Lavigne), according to his web site. (Check out the "video" of the Velvet Underground performing "Sister Ray" on the Lawrence Welk Show.)

Movies: "The Matrix"

Rolling Stone article about Larry Wachowski, co-director of "The Matrix", and his unusual sexual proclivities. The article blames Larry's personal life for causing the two sequels to suck so very, very badly. I still haven't bothered to see the 3rd part after being so disappointed by the 2nd.

Music: "Jane Says"

Shell directs you to this article about the Jane's Addiction song, "Jane Says" and its inspiration, Jane Bainter.

Other song inspirations:

• The Velvet Underground's "Candy Says" - Candy Darling, transvestite and Andy Warhol associate.
  
• The Beatles' "Dear Prudence" - Prudence Farrow, former sister-in-law of Woody Allen.
  
• R.E.M.'s "(Don't Go Back To) Rockville" - Ingrid Schorr, then girlfriend of Mike Mills. Read her side of the story - funny!
  

Lyrics Quiz: Funny

1. And I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
   
2. Ain’t nothing in the world like a big eyed girl to make me act so funny, make me spend my money.
   
3. It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide.
   
4. Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl. And with the way you look I understand that you are not impressed.
   
5. Funny thing, but you can sing it with a cry in your voice.
   
6. Ain’t it funny how you feel when you’re findin’ out it’s real?
   
7. Oh, I, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room and I, as I recall, it ended much too soon.
   
8. In and out of Wandsworth with the numbers on their names. It's funny how their missus always look the bleeding same.
   
9. If you're so funny, then why are you on your own tonight?
   
10. Teacher thinks that I sound funny but she likes the way you sing.
    

Music: Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan

Stream tracks from an EP by Isobel Campbell (ex-Belle and Sebastian) and Mark Lanegan (ex-Screaming Trees). Their voices go well together.

Movies: Overrated Actors

On a transatlantic flight, they were showing a film I'd never heard of, "Noel". I was trying to sleep so I didn't bother putting on headphones. Every time I looked up and saw Susan Sarandon, it occurred to me what an overrated actress she is. She did the "sexy older woman" thing she always does. She did the "strong woman shows her vulnerable side" thing she always does. She did the "googly eyes like Bette Davis" thing she always does. Hang it up, Sarandon!

Most overrated actor? Gene Hackman. I haven't watched him on mute yet to verify this, but I'm pretty sure it's him.

Most overrated movie of all time? "Twilight".

TV: Letterman v O'Reilly

The Wahoo Gazette summarises last night's "Late Show", including the interview with Bill O'Reilly. Highlight from Dave: "I am not smart enough to debate you point by point on this, but I have a feeling about 60% of what you say is crap...but I don't know that for a fact." You can watch the video too.

Movies: One Word Summaries

The Sunday Times' TV listings magazine, "Culture", likes to finish its descriptions of films with a one word summary. The films for New Year's Eve:

• The Wedding Planner - "Clichéd."
  
• The Guns Of Navarone - "Rollicking."
  
• King Ralph - "Tired."
  
• Brigadoon - "Enchanting."
  
• The Fugitive - "Gripping."
  
• Police Academy VII: Mission To Moscow - "Dire."
  

A very Happy New Year to everyone, except those bastards at BT Ireland. I hope they choke on their noise-makers.

Sports: Football

• From The Times, the Christmas message from the Lithuanian majority shareholder of Scottish team, Heart Of Midlothian:
  

  "...there are also those — be they agents, journalists, jealous hangers-on or other 'wunderkind' — who seek to ruin all that is good about the game. But it is the devil that is driving them forward, and they are not going to stop. All that will remain for me is to step aside and bid them farewell on their road to hell."

  
  
• That's a funny name for a football club, isn't it? Named after the Walter Scott novel (which you can read online)?
  
• There is a Welsh team called Airbus UK. Their grounds features retractable floodlights because they're beside a runway.
  

Lyrics Quiz: Christmas

Lyrics Quiz for Christmas.

1. And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.
   
2. Did you ever see the faces Of the children? They get so excited. Waking up on Christmas morning, hours before the winter sun's ignited.
   
3. They sold me a dream of Christmas, they sold me a silent night. They told me a fairy story, 'til I believed in the Israelite.
   
4. Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze! Welcome Christmas, come this way!
   
5. Happy Christmas. I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying "I love you". I meant it.
   
6. And every day's like Christmas Day without you - it's cold and there's nothing to do.
   
7. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! But I think I'll miss this one this year.
   
8. Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party. We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog.
   
9. Two years ago today I was arrested on Christmas Eve.
   

Bonus Christmas greeting from the Cardigans.

Bonus bonus: my favourite song of the season: "Christmas On Riverside Drive" by Kid Creole and the Coconuts (MP3 available here with a load of August Darnell songs).

Internet: Whorepresents.com

The always amusing Caitlin Moran writes in The Times about Whorepresents.com, a website that is actually "Who Represents", not "Whore Presents". (It tells you which agency represents which entertainer - but don't bother going there as it requires a subscription.)

Internet: Santa Hack

How to hack a WalMart Santa (found via Gizmodo).

Lookalikes: David Cameron

The Times points out the uncanny resemblance between new Tory leader David Cameron and Data from "Star Trek". They're right!

Politics: Bertie Ahern

If any Irish people try to give me guff about George W. Bush not being the sharpest sandwich in the picnic basket, I'll express my "sympaty" for their head of "goverment", for that is how Irish Taoiseach Bertie Ahern signed a book of condolences for George Best. This Irish Times article has more examples of Bertie-isms, like "Don't upset the apple tart."

Speaking of Best, the BBC has quotes by and about him, including the immortal "Where did it all go wrong?"

Lookalikes: Salman Rushdie

Shell insists that Salman Rushdie looks like "Harry Potter" Daniel Radcliffe. Apparently, I lack "imagination" because I don't see the resemblance.

In this photo, I think he looks more like Channel 8 weatherman Troy Dungan - or his evil twin.

Music: Girl Groups

Gift idea for pop music lovers: "One Kiss Can Lead To Another: Girl Group Sounds Lost And Found", a box set of 4 CDs of girl groups. Mainly rarities, so if you want the classic songs, you'd be better off with a one disc "greatest hits" like this.

Some of the performers and producers featured on the box set: Sandie Shaw, Brenda Lee (with Jimmy Page on guitar), Twiggy, David Gates, Dolly Parton (produced by Ray Stevens), Toni Basil (song written by Graham Gouldman of 10CC)

There's also a group called The Girls, four sisters named Sandoval. Could they be related to Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star/Warm Inventions fame? The cheekbones look similar.

The CDs come packaged in a "hat box", which is a cute idea but takes up a lot of space.

If you hurry, you can download my favorite song from the set, "He Makes Me So Mad" by the Hollywood Jills, at Sound Bites. Like Sound Bites, I did a doubletake when I heard the start of a Dusty Springfield song and realised that it had been stolen wholesale by Saint Etienne.

Internet: Amazon Reviewer

Came across this review of a broadband router on Amazon.co.uk:

Even though Amazon states it requires a modem, I got it anyway as normally routers are built to elliminate the need for a modem in the first place. It DOES require a modem, and the connection is RJ45 so no just connecting to your DLS splitter. Been in IT for a good few years and for a top 5 router to have no modem is just pants. Returning for a Netgear. Bizarre.

Yes, as OMC said, how bizarre that Amazon should state it doesn't include a modem - and then it turns out that it doesn't include a modem!

"Pants", for non-Brits, is slang" for "not very good", deriving from "underpants". It was even used by a Home Office official rejecting an asylum seeker's case.

Do the British overuse catchphrases? I think they do. Every fifth review on Amazon.co.uk uses the tired expression, "It does exactly what it says on the tin", which is the slogan for Ronseal woodcare products.

Lyrics Quiz: JFK

Lyrics Quiz for the day that's in it. You'll do well if you get more than three.

1. I shouted out: "Who killed the Kennedys?", when, after all, it was you and me.
   
2. Anybody here seen my old friend John? Can you tell me where he's gone? He freed a lot of people, but it seems the good die young.
   
3. J.F.K. blown away. What else do I have to say?
   
4. My mother cried when President Kennedy died. She said it was the communists but I knew better.
   
5. Who's got the brain of JFK? What's it mean to us now...yeah?
   
6. I was born the day they shot JFK. The way you look at me sucks me down the sidewalk. Somebody please tell this machine I'm not a machine.
   
7. And then a guy in a Porsche with a radio hit his horn and told us the news. He said: "The president's dead, he was shot twice in the head in Dallas, and they don't know by whom."
   
8. I wanna die just like JFK. I wanna die on a sunny day. I wanna die just like JFK. I wanna die in the USA.
   
9. People got more baggage than JFK, yeah. And I'm talkin about the airport, man.
   

Oh, and that Dream Academy song from the other day.

One of the above songs is Lou Reed's "The Day John Kennedy Died" (yeah, right, like you would have got that one). Lou also sings:

The team from the University was playing football on TV."

JFK was shot on a Friday, early afternoon. It seems highly unlikely that any college team would be playing a game then. Lou's alma mater is Syracuse University, and their schedule for 1963 shows no game on 11/22.

Internet: Wikipedia

IBM's Research group provides a visualisation of Wikipedia page changes. Not sure what it means, but it's purty.

Lyrics Quiz: Beatles

Songs that mention the Beatles:

1. He said "In winter 1963, it felt like the world would freeze. With John F. Kennedy. And the Beatles."
   
2. All that phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust.
   
3. "Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania. Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson.
   
4. Why don't the Beatles get back together? Why don't nobody sing of romance?
   
5. Fear in the air, tension everywhere. Unemployment rising fast, the Beatles new record's a gas.
   
6. I asked Bobby Dylan, I asked the Beatles, I asked Timothy Leary, but he couldn't help me either.
   
7. Johnny was a school boy when he heard his first Beatles song. `Love Me Do' I think it was, and from then it didn't take him long.
   

I had these two before:

1. I don't believe in Zimmerman. I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me.
   
2. Well, my brother's back at home with his Beatles and his Stones.
   

Music: Copyright Law

Contrary to common belief, there is no "four note" rule for music sampling.

List of famous copyright cases, including the Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony". (More info on that case.)

Music: Amazon Customer Reviews

Read this Amazon customer review of the Cardigans' "Super Extra Gravity" for an example of bad writing style. Overwrought? Yes. Using long words when simple ones would be better? Yes. Ignoring basic rules of punctuation? Yes. Incomprehensible at times? Definitely. Take it away, C. Lynch:

I've never written a review before for a cd, but felt compelled as the latest work from The Cardigans struck me as something great and I feared they would be spoken of badly or misinterpreted by someone, hindering another from experiencing this revolution in music.

Their music seems to move with the general feeling of the musically inclined at that point and time, even so far as initiating the next wave of emotion.

But trusting them, I bought the cd and soon it took the reigns of my emotions that I'd unsuccessfully controlled, and steered me into a direction that I almost wasn't sure that I was allowed to feel.

By the way, you can see the video for "I need some fine wine and you, you need to be nicer" here. I know I blogged this before but RB hasn't seen it yet. Oh, it's in Real Player format, and he hates that as much as I hate QuickTime. Here's a Natalie Portman Japanese shampoo commercial instead.

Music: Best Non-Album Single

Eric extends the B-side discussion to this topic: what is the best song that was only issued on a single, not on an album (apart from compilations)?

He suggests the Led Zeppelin b-side "Hey, Hey What Can I Do" (which Shell mentioned today as the best b-side - although he may have referred to it as "Hey Hey My My").

I'll nominate two Roxy Music singles: their incredible debut "Virginia Plain", and "Pyjamarama".

Have to mention the Smiths - "Ask" and "Panic".

For nostalgia, how about ABBA's "Summer Night City" from 1978?

TV: "Veronica Mars"

"Veronica Mars" is a fine TV show. Well-plotted, smart dialogue and a cast that is almost perfect - especially the charming Kristen Bell (yes, she likes dogs).

Excellent music too - very fond of Air. The creator of the show, Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy), was in various bands in Austin, TX. One of his bands played support to Something Happens, which explains how they got to be on the soundtrack.

The only miscasting, to my mind, was Brandon Hillock as Deputy Sacks, as the mush-mouthed, sleepy cop who was one of Veronica's love interests in season one. He has no other credits on IMDb. I Googled him to see what could possibly be his claim to fame that got him this gig. Remember this story about costumed characters shaking down tourists on Hollywood Boulevard, and this photo of Elmo and Mr. Incredible being arrested? Well, the story says:

The hotly competitive environment underscores basic divisions among the characters. Some are weekend hobbyists who take their performance seriously and aren't so concerned about getting paid; others see the gig as a full-time job in which they must scramble for every dollar.

In the former camp are two very passable Johnny Depp impersonators -- Jim Calibur, who portrays Captain Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean" and Brandon Hillock, who plays Willy Wonka from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" -- who work together. They pool their resources and give tourists a double dose of Mr. Depp. Both men have spent more than $1,000 on their costumes.

Could it be the same guy?

Music: B-Sides

Stylus has a "Non-Definitive Guide To The B-Side". They omit the greatest B-side of all time (I don't think it meets their criteria), "The Sweetest Thing" by U2. Second greatest is "Lover" by Roxy Music (B-side of "Same Old Scene").

Here's an Australian list (that does include "The Sweetest Thing").

Retail: Best Buy

Overheard at the Best Buy in Grapevine, TX. (White) mother, confidently, to her pre-teen children: "R&B is the same as Hip-Hop." Then, less confidently: "Let's ask those black guys."

Best Buy's in-store radio has had a lone male DJ for a while. Over-earnest but not too objectionable. Now they've paired him with a female DJ, and they make inane, obviously scripted small talk between songs. Very objectionable.

Mish Mash

• Pitchfork has The Worst Record Covers Of All Time. Some are very obscure but they are bad.
  
• Eric suggests a "Separated At Birth": Eagles' owner Jeffrey Lurie and SNL head honcho Lorne Michaels. I see a resemblance.
  
• Sports appropriate name: 49ers QB Cody Pickett - he'll be throwing a lot of picks. (And throwing off pickers.)
  
• A piece of silk challenged some rough woollen fabric to a race. Not surpisingly, the silk won easily. It jeered the wool: "You're bested!" "No," said the wool, "I'm worsted."
  
• Moroccan Role has very appealing tracks by Lawrence, KS band, OK Jones. Like a more tuneful, less freaky Wilco.
  

Music: Most Disappointing Albums

Great list of "100 MOST DISAPPOINTING ALBUMS" at Productshop NYC. I definitely agree with:

97. Suede – Dog Man Star
81. Paul Weller – Stanley Road (despite recent 10th anniversary celebrations)
64. U2 – Pop
61. Pixies – Bossonova
50. Air - 10,000 Hz
41. Blur – The Great Escape
18. Belle & Sebastian - Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant
2. Stone Roses – Second Coming (and I agree that it has improved with age)

Disagree with:

86. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music (how can you be "disappointed" with a double album of noise?)
54. Pink Floyd - The Wall
36. Ryan Adams – Rock N Roll (great pastiches of 1980s music)

And I would have replaced De La Soul's "Art Official Intelligence: Mosaic Thump" with "De La Soul Is Dead". And here are my suggestions:

• The Waterboys - "Room To Roam" (what a let down after the mighty "Fisherman's Blues")
  
• D'Angelo - "Brown Sugar" (the title track was great - the rest of the album was too smooth)
  
• Prince - just about everything after "Sign O' The Times"
  

Internet: Pat Wants

(As seen around the Internet, with the words "needs" instead of "wants.) Google "-your name- wants" and list the top 10 results. What does Pat want?

1. Pat wants to blow it up, real good.
   
2. Pat wants Jared dead.
   
3. Pat wants to meet Chris and greet him.
   
4. Pat wants to transfer her policy to a charitable remainder trust.
   
5. Pat wants to phone at the mall.
   
6. Pat wants US jobs to stay in the US.
   
7. Pat wants to fix fog_coord to apply the decision as to where the fog coord comes from at a per-vertex level - e.g. move the mux up to the RasterPos level.
   
8. Pat wants his wife back to take care of the children and run the house.
   
9. Pat wants to be perceived as playing off fear.
   
10. Pat wants to send out a press release automatically.
    

So that's how Thom Yorke writes his lyrics!

Music: Paul McCartney

Everyone's least favourite Beatle, Paul McCartney, is to serenade astronauts on the International Space Station. I hope this turns out better than James Taylor singing "Fire And Rain" to Homer Simpson and Buzz Aldrin.

Funny Names

The Chairman and CEO of ConocoPhillips? James Mulva.

Hoax: Ronaldinho Nike Commercial

Nike ad of Ronaldhino (the ugliest woman to ever play mens' football) trying some new boots. He hits the crossbar multiple times. Generally reckoned to be fake.

The pickup ad where it survives being hit by a meteor? Definitely real.

Blurry photo (or is it Art?) of a lizard with no tail. The tail has since grown back but the other lizards still shun him. 

Politics: GOP Babes

Just saw Govindini Murty on C-SPAN. No surprise that she was the New Jersey GOP Babe Of The Week. (Full archive here. Surprising that it wasn't until Week 18 that they featured Michelle Malkin, who was raised in NJ.) Back to Murty. She co-created the Liberty Film Festival and is a protege of Michael Medved.

And the hottest babe in the Liberal Media? Still Lara Logan, now on "60 Minutes".

Music: U2

U2 brings all-girl band on stage in LA. You can hear the girls' version of "Out Of Control" here - a little too faithful to the original.

The Simpsons: Bands Named After...

Wikipedia lists bands named after "The Simpsons". I've seen Fallout Boy and Evergreen Terrace at Best Buy. Wikipedia doesn't have The Flaming Moes, an Australian cover band. There's an Irish cover band of the same name that performs on special occasions.

Politics: California

Political animation from some Democrat who wants to be Governor of California. Love the Cheney Monster.

TV: Bad Dialogue Game

Which of this bad TV dialog(ue) is genuine, and which did I make up?

1. Geena Davis on "Commander-In-Chief": "I'm not just the Commander, damn it - I'm the Commander-In-Chief".
   
2. Summer on "The OC": "The more time I spend with Zack, the less I have to think about...ew...what's his face...built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend, who cried and cried over him until the 4th of July, when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats."
   
3. Red on "That 70s Show": "Who would want a phone without a cord? Son, you're wasting your time with that...cordless phone!"
   
4. Samantha on "Sex And The City": "Don't move to the suburbs, Charlotte! No one ever talks about Sex and the Suburbs."
   
5. Pat O'Brien on "The Insider": "And later in the show, we get an exclusive look at Nicole Richie's new fragrance - for pooches!"
   
6. Dylan Walsh on "Nip/Tuck: "Wow! That girl is so ugly she needs a nip AMPERSAND tuck!"
   
7. Emily Procter on "CSI:Miami": "You may be a lawyer, but I'm a CSI. A damn good one."