Friday, May 05, 2006

The Simpsons: More Quotes

Eric supplies some more Simpsons quotations of quotidian utility:

  • "Now who's being naive, Marge?" (Said in a patronising way to someone who disbelieves your wild assertions, as when Marge disputed Homer's claim that Earl Warren was a Supreme Court justice and a sleazy male stripper.)
  • "I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FLAMING." (The common prayer of those who want things to remain the way they always have been.)
  • "Not so good. The girl I've been stalking just had me bumped back to 200 feet." (When asked about your love life.)
  • "That's super." (Spoken in a condescending tone about those who worship a different God.)
  • "Yes, yes, it's all a rich tapestry." (Said in a dismissive voice to those who try to over-analyze their petty lives.)
  • "Her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation, humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing." (For putting down Dorothy Parker-types.)
  • "It works with any Ayatollah." (When praising your own geopolitical satire.)
  • "What is your fascination with my 'Forbidden Closet of Mystery'?" (When questioning someone's fascination with your 'Forbidden Closet of Mystery'.)
  • "I wash myself with a rag on a stick." (When you have crossed over from "more of me to love" to "morbid obesity".)
  • "My mom says I'm cool." (The ultimate statement of uncoolness.)

Here's one more quote that can be used when discussing the latest example of political correctness run riot, the uproar over a Filipino boy disciplined by a Canadian school for eating with a knife and spoon:

I think the school was perfectly right to expel that kid's ass for improper cutlery etiquette. I just hope they do the same thing to a Yank kid who holds his fork in his right hand.

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