Movies: Oscars 2005

Oscars. Is Sean Penn the most humourless man in Hollywood? Is Julia Roberts so inane that she thinks it's okay to wish a friend 'Happy Birthday' before announcing the Best Director award? Is Chris Rock the only comedian who could get away with referring to Salma Hayek's and Penelope Cruz's breasts as "these next four presenters"? Was there too much Beyoncé? Was P. Diddy the most egregious example of the Academy pandering to the 'youth' audience? And finally, did I get 20 out of 24 categories right over at Enterpool? The answer to all these questions is 'yes'.

Food: Creamer

Why do restaurants make such a big deal about asking if you want creamer with your coffee? Why not automatically bring a couple of those little cartons with every cup? At Amazon, you can buy 180 creamers for $14.99 - about 8 cents each. I'm sure a restaurant could get them a lot cheaper in bulk.

Words: Sherbet

Wikipedia describes the various meanings of sherbet in the U.S., Britain and Australia. And the difference between sherbet and sorbet. And what "showbiz sherbet" means. Both Wikipedia and Dictionary.com give sherbert as a valid spelling.

(Wikipedia is looking for donations - seems a worthier cause than some greedy guts with a pet rabbit.)

Words: Clinker/Clunker

Having pondered the difference between "clinker" and "clunker" recently (offline), I am now faced with a "duke"/"dike" dilemma thanks to the headline in this Portsmouth Herald Accent story. I didn't even know Marcia Cross was nominated.

Words: Monsignor, Yankee

What is a Monsignor? According to dictionary.com, "an ecclesiastical title of honor bestowed on some priests". This astronomy site (huh?) has more information on the Roman Catholic church, and also explains who votes for a new Pope. Only Cardinals under 80 can vote. Otherwise we'd have Pope Matlock.

The origin of "Yankee" is controversial. Some theories here.

Feeble Attempt At Humour

2 jokes.

Did you hear that Nicole Richie was attacked with a machete? Yeah, someone hacked into Paris Hilton's sidekick.

You (pointing at corner of room): Is that a compact Toyota?
Other: A compact Toyota?
You: So there is an Echo in here!

(For this second joke to work, you need someone gullible enough to repeat the phrase.)

Feeble Attempt At Humour

Dispelling popular myths:

• "The Bay Of Pigs" actually only has one pig.
  
• The actress who played Winnie on the "The Wonder Years" did not undergo a sex change and play one of the "Golden Girls".
  
• The nautical term "Starboard" does not stand for "Ships travel across really big oceans. Aristocrats rarely duel."
  
• Your PC can not catch a "virus" from opening an email "attachment".
  
• Mae West never said "Come up and see me some time" in any of her movies. She did, however, make the "phone me" gesture with her thumb and pinkie.
  
• Worms are not gummy. Trust me on this.
  
• Microsoft are not giving $100 vouchers for Long John Silvers to everyone who punches a police horse in the ass.
  
• Starbucks did not refuse to send coffee to US soldiers, but they do give free refills to Al Qaeda members.
  

Word Quiz

For those who didn't work out yesterday's puzzle, here's a variation on the theme from Eric:

Beard, Catharsis, Bath, Rather, Coward, Bullet, Goatee

Word Quiz

What do the following words have in common?

Wrench, emulsion, crowded, tithe, henchmen

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patanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapata
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patanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapata
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patanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapata
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patanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapata
noiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoia
patanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapatanoiapata

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