Music: Tori Amos

Who knew that Tori Amos had such boring taste in music? Her fantasy band would have Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar? Is that hack still going? Anyway, Tori should get back to what she does best: grinding her crotch into piano stools.

For what it's worth, my fantasy band would feature:

• J.J. Cale on guitar and vocals
  
• Robert Quine on second guitar
  
• Gene Krupa on drums (and matchbox)
  
• Bill Laswell on bass
  
• Hilda Woodward (Lieutenant Pigeon) on piano
  
• The brass section from Dexy's Midnight Runners
  
• Bez (Happy Mondays) on maracas and dancing
  

Or you could just have Prince do everything.