rbally has a live performance from 1974.
Details of his 1990 lawsuit against Frito-Lay, including a soundfile of the ad. (I wonder what ever happened to the impersonator, Dallas singer Stephen Carter?)
Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson is reportedly recording an album of Waits covers.
I totally call bullshit on this. Wouldn't imagining her deepest fear be traumatic for Lina? And how did she imagine all those fish and coral in her fantasy? Bad psychology, PBS Kids.
Here's her blog (infrequently updated, understandably).
(Thanks to Shell for the link.)
Or listen to Scottish band Camera Obscura sing "Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken".
Lloyd and the Commotions had a mini-reunion back in 2004.
YouTube videos: "Rattlesnakes", "Perfect Skin", "Forest Fire", "Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?" (live), "Brand New Friend", "My Bag" (did he have to change "powder my nose" to "launder my clothes" for MTV?), "Jennifer She Said", "Don't Look Bad", "She's A Girl And I'm A Man" (those last two feature the late guitarist Robert Quine's "reliably understated seething").
And is Jimmy Carr a Lloyd Cole lookalike?
Chromewaves, one of the classiest MP3 blogs around, also has an MP3 of the song the cats sing in "The Science Of Sleep": "If You Rescue Me" (sung to the tune of the Velvet Underground's "After Hours").
Brought to you by the Mathletes (check out their expensive video for "Pinocchiobot" - the money is all on the screen).
Maybe I'm crazy, but I see that as a definition of stupidity.
My definition of madness is to wrap a vacuum cleaner hose around your waist, put an aluminium pie plate on your head, and say "Look at me! I'm Laverne and Shirley!"
Is there anything drunker than a drunken Chinaman? No, there is not. #2 in drunkenness: monks. #3: judges. (Sailors are not as drunken as you might think.)
Here's a video of a panda grabbing a zoo vistor's jacket.
(Thanks to Eric for the link.)
Completely unrelated: the White Stripes on "The Simpsons". It's a parody of the "Hardest Button To Button" video by Michel Gondry.
A lengthy series of axioms, anecdotes, exhortations, accolades, admonitions and insults, the book does not need to be read in the order in which it was written. Rather, much as in the case of the Old Testament, which it greatly resembles in its stylistic delicacy and unquavering jeremiadic tone, the reader can dip in anywhere.
True, since the author, now 62, regularly refers to such once-mythical but now obscure figures as Zsa Zsa Gabor, Yvonne de Carlo, Elizabeth Berkley and William Faulkner, it is not certain that the intended reader will understand all the references. Still, the overall message — everyone in Hollywood is an untrustworthy moron except me and a couple of directors I might one day work with again — comes through fairly clearly.
More roulette cheats.
And here's an online roulette game - I quit when I got up to $700.
Somebody mentioned the Jon Stewart program. I've never seen that in my life and I'll go to my grave never having seen it ... A self-righteous comedian taking on airs of grandeur, and I don't really need that.
Alternatively, you can watch the Bert Blyleven F-Bomb.
The standout phrase, "Zip up yer mickey", has become a t-shirt.
There's also a new operating system based on the tape.
Here's a photo of her 1960s girl group, Maxi, Dick 'n' Twink. (Helpful hint: make sure you have SafeSearch enabled before searching for "dick" and "twink".)
14. I don't know what color your eyes are, baby, but your hair is long and brown.
Here are some jokes sent to Snopes by stupid readers. I like the airplane/Coca Cola/shoe one. But jeers to Snopes for having pop-up ads.
In the Enterpool version, you pick each game against the line (generally published on Friday - except for Thursday games). You also assign "confidence points" for each game. If you pick the correct winner, you score that many points. More information here.
If you're not already a member, registration is simple. Then click "Join A Group" to add yourself to the public league.
If you have a lot of friends, or want to start an office pool, click "Start A Group" to create a private league. You'll be able to invite your pals to join.
My tip: go ahead and make all your picks for the season now. You can go back and change them later, but at least you'll have some picks in case you forget/lose your internet connection/get called out of town.
My favourite memory was Julie's story of how, when Bobby Sands died, the Provos, staunch democrats that they were, and perhaps still are, demanded that every business establishment in the Nenagh area cease business as a mark of respect.
Lady Julie's reaction was one of well-feigned indignation. "Are you suggesting," she said, "that I should close my doors because of the death of a British member of parliament?"
The heroes faded away like a dawn mist on Lough Derg.
Everett True is a big fat man who beats people up for offending his sensibilities. He doesn't like people who are late, sales people who ignore their customers, people who poke him in the chest to emphasise their point, and smart alec cops - among many others.
But is violence really the answer to these pests? As Mr. True says, "There's no hope of my beating any sense into you, but I'll knock some of the ignorance out of you!!!!"
"We are not going to comment, because it does not dignify a response."
You don't "dignify a response". You dignify another person or what they said with a response. Or you could say, "That doesn't deserve a response".
I hope Emily is being misquoted, but I doubt it. Google shows lots of others making the same mistake.
In this USA Today story about Doonesbury (has this strip ever been funny? is it even meant to be?), a different White House spokesperson, Dana Perino, uses the same phrase.
Here's a Harvard pro-choice student saying it.
A Nova Scotian politician ("the member for Halifax Needham") said it too.
There were a lot of reasons to ridicule Scott McClellan, but at least he knew how to say "dignify that with a response".
I've been working on a Simpsons jigsaw puzzle, so I see Homer and Bart and Krusty. The so-called Tetris effect. I also get it after weeding in the garden: when I close my eyes, I see weeds shooting out like fireworks.
The Wikipedia article cites this study which found that even amnesiacs, who couldn't remember playing Tetris, still experienced the Tetris effect.
And so you can get hooked all over again, online Tetris.
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The Aldi supermarket chain was founded in 1948 by Karl and Theo Albrecht. They split up in 1962 because one wanted to sell cigarettes at the checkout counters and the other didn't. So now it's Aldi Nord and Aldi Sud.
adidas was founded by Adolf Dassler; Puma was founded by his brother Rudolf after a mysterious falling out.
And then there was the Austrian house-painting firm of W. & A. Hitler, who parted acrimoniously because Werner thought they should use an undercoat of lead-based paint, and Adolf thought they should invade Poland.
But then, I'm not down there stirring my coffee with a Cue Cat, filling it to the rim of my old TXCN mug. Maybe I just don't have the vision.
But I hope you'll forgive me for bringing up one anniversary: the 150th anniversary of the death of Preston Himmelfarb. Himmelfarb (a distant ancestor of mine, if I may so brag) is credited with the invention of the cowcatcher on locomotive engines. Despite what Wikipedia says, Charles Babbage merely refined Himmelfarb's idea by using a metal frame on the front of the train. Himmelfarb believed in the "set a thief to catch a thief" theory, and who better to catch cows, he reasoned, than a cow? "The bovine mind is an intricate and elegant machine," he wrote (perhaps overestimating the intelligence of cattle). "Its ways are not known to mere humans. Put place a cow securely on the frontmost part of a moving steam-engine, arm it with lassos and other means of entrapment, and this cow shall catch any of its brethern which may wander too close to the steam-engine."
Gout always reminds me of Ronnie Corbett's joke about the soldier in a train compartment with a vicar. The soldier looks up from his newspaper and says, "Excuse me, Padre, but what's 'gout'?" The vicar primly replies, "Gout is a disease which afflicts those who abuse wine and spirits, who feed their gluttonous appetites, and who engage in decadent debauchery, commiting sins of the flesh. Why do you ask, my son?" The soldier points at his newspaper. "It says here the Archbishop of Canterbury's got it."
Bonus: The Two Ronnies' "Mastermind" sketch (which also mentions the Archbishop of Canterbury).
Coincidentally, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has voted that "The Adventures Of Pluto Nash" shall no longer be considered a motion picture. "Movies should offer entertainment and enlightenment," said AMPAS president Burt Young, "and that piece of crap offers neither."
Meanwhile, the lyrics of Cole Porter's "(I'm) Always True To You In My Fashion" have decided to expunge the line, "Mister Harris, plutocrat, wants to give my cheek a pat". From now on, it will be, "Mister Harris, dum-di-dat, dum-di dum-di dum-dum-dat."
So it a hoax? Fraud? (Steorn says they also "address counterfeit crime in areas such as plastic card fraud and optical disc fraud".) PR stunt for some other business? We'll see.
And here's a picture of Sarah in (appropriately) a catsuit.
The Trinity Foundation carries a more favorable New Yorker profile from 2004. Joe Bob Briggs is a follower. The Wikipedia piece says that the Trinity Foundation was behind that Tilton/flatulence video I posted recently.
Vernon Bear is often used as a fake name for test bookings in the travel industry (as in GetThere training manual).
I wish I could remember the fake name used by airline staff (AA anyway) when they call the Cargo department about transporting a coffin, in front of a relative. They ask for "Jim" somebody, I think.
John Doe is used in legal cases for someone unknown or anonymous.
Alan Smithee is used for anonymous movie credits. "The O.J. Simpson Story" may be his best work.
Any other fake name conventions?
Darius Rucker aka Hootie, of course.
Tindersticks singer Stuart Staples is described on Wikipedia as having a "smoky baritone", but sometimes that smoke becomes sludge (in a good way).
Google has 77 results for mushmouth "Thom Yorke". 783 results for mushmouth "Bruce Springsteen". 1,380 results for mushmouth "Bob Dylan".
Jazz singer Mary Stallings says she learned from Dinah Washington: "you don't need to sing mush-mouthed to have soul".
And, while not musical, let's pay tribute to Bill Thompson, who provided the voice of Droopy. He did not do the voice of Droopy knockoff, Inspector Willoughby.
I think it's an awful song because of that cacophanous synthesizer intro. Apparently, the theme is based on an algorithm using some Iranian-Indian dude's vital statistics.
Do you know any otherwise decent songs that are ruined by an ugly intro or outro?
Each month of the year has its own moon name. Which of them are song titles? "Harvest Moon" by Neil Young. "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake. "Hunter's Moon" by Thin White Rope. Incredibly, no one has written a song called "Beaver Moon".
So what do you call the big yellow moon that hovers over the horizon? I don't know. Big yellow moon? But why does it appear to be so big?
The "Moon Illusion" explained.
And what is a Killing Moon? It's a moon that will come too soon.
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Who is the hottie in the Mercury ads? It's Jill Wagner. She looked better in the earlier commercial where she's dressed in blue. The new ad really shows off her pointy chin. I always fear for the little boy standing in front of her - the crown of his head may not withstand that chin. She had a bit part in "Junebug".
Has there ever been a better match of product and celebrity endorser than Milk and Elizabeth Hurley? It works on so many levels - two at least. (Watch backstage footage.) Only a vegan could object to this.
And how about that long-legged cutie in the Old Navy ad? Can't find her name. Another blog has been trying to track down a different Old Navy model since 2004. (The song, by the way, is "Check It Out" by Komeda.)
The Old Navy ad is promoting Madras. What other clothing materials are named after cities?
Nice to see the Rainmakers mentioned (#36).
No Ted Nugent in the list? How many animals does he have to kill?
I would have added Lou Reed's "Martial Law". I'm sure Eric can suggest a few.
Defamer carried a story about Bruce Willis repeating an old pickup line, "What are your plans for sex tonight?", to a college coed. (It's not clear if he was actually using the line or just reminiscing.)
According to one biographer, Prince William's chat-up line is "Hi, I’m the future king, wanna pull?"
The origin of the word is unclear.
Stephen Colbert started a "Campaign Against Humbuggery", as a parody of Fox News Channel's "War On Christmas".
(It's a little embarrassing to see some Robert songs posted by bloggers.)
Steve Kilbey from The Church pays tribute. He's right to call the first album they made together as Jack Frost a "masterpiece". (Hear "Thought That I Was Over You" at Sound Of The Suburbs".)
The Sydney Morning Herald has a nice article.
(R. accidentally referred to this movie as "Flight 911", which would be a good way to piss off movie-lovers)
ilx has a lot of message boards like this, where an innocent question gets trampled on by wise-acres. For example, the topic "180 degree albums - initially hated/later loved" elicits many replies about an album called "Your Mother", like "I got into Your Mother in the later years but i pulled out of that once everyone started getting into Your Mother".
Here's an American cookbook from 1837 with directions for making a Ham Sandwich (including buttered bread!). (More sandwich recipes from old cookbooks.)
This Yahoo forum discussion points to sandwich-buttering being a non-American or older person thing.
Visit the website of the British Sandwich Association (British Sandwich Week starts May 14th).
Wikipedia has a good article on margarine - apparently Big Butter conspired against margarine by promoting bans on adding colouring agents to artificial spreads. (A ban is still in effect in Quebec.)
It and I in a small toy business purchase a bag of the balloons with the money, which we have. Adjust it freely at the break of dawn to one after the other one, it been involved. Withdraw at the lower surface, bugs in software somewhat out there lightning the announcement. Swim into the summer sky. 99 red balloons pass.
99 red balloons, which swim into the summer skies panic bells, is it red alarm. It gives somewhat here from somewhere otherwise. The war machine of springs to the life. Open an eager eye. Direct it toward the sky. Where 99 red balloons go past.
99 decision road. Meeting with 99 Ministers. Worry themselves, worry themselves, super hasten. Call the troops out in a haste. This is, which we waited. This is it boy, this is war. The president is on the line, while 99 red balloons go past.
99 knights of air ride super -- high super high techstrahl fighters of everyone a Superhero. Everyone a captain Kirk. Also to mark the orders. Explain and classify themselves. Hunts in the summer sky. As 99 red balloons go past.
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