Feeble Attempt At Humour

• I was walking around town with my sketchpad and charcoal pencils when I saw Johnny Tightlips. I asked him several times if I could do a portrait of him, but he refused to be drawn.
• Can you compare an Opel model to a tin container? Corsa can.
• Bono shows up at the Pearly Gates with a Checkers board under his arm. St. Peter asks, "Did you come here to play Jesus?"

Music: Whistling

Paul Johnson in The Spectator laments the lack of whistling in today's music (and singles out Bing Crosby as a prime whistler of yesteryear).

The only recent whistling that I can think of is by Bryan Ferry in Roxy Music's cover of "Jealous Guy". Can you think of any others?

Bonus: How to whistle.

Words: Bee's Knees

When I heard someone using the phrase, "It's the business", recently, it occurred to me that it might be related to the phrase, "It's the bee's knees". Answers.com says yes, "the business" is derived from "the bee's knees". The Telegraph says that "bee's knees" is a nonsense phrase from the Jazz Age, and also mentions "the dog's bollocks".

Music: U2

I was singing "Zoo Station" to myself on my drive home when I realised why Apple called their mini music player the Shuffle. "I'm ready for the shuffle - ready for the deal. Ready to let go of the steering wheel" Nothing to do with the fact that it can only play songs randomly.

Feeble Attempt At Humour

By the way, I have a Love Removal Machine for sale. Hardly used. I used it to remove some love when I bought it (just to make sure it worked). But then I changed my mind vis à vis love-removing. I now prefer to keep my love lying around. $60 OBO.

I was going to call my band The Cult Of The Blue Oyster, but apparently there's already a band called The Cult, so that would be confusing.

Music: Bob Wills

Did Bob Wills have Tourette's Syndrome? I'm just asking, is all. The Father Of Western Swing was known for the little noises he made during the songs. "Awww!" "Ah-hah!"

In the liner notes of "Bob Wills: For The Last Time", Charlie R. Townsend (he won a Grammy for these liner notes, so pay attention) says it was not a gimmick, but a natural, uncontrollable sound of appreciation for the music from his bandmates.

Ray Benson (and he would know) says it's linked to the Mexican "grito". JazzHouston describes the "grito" as a "jubilant, soulful yell" in Mariachi music.

On the other hand, the Texas Almanac says he copied it from his father who once lost a contest to a hollerer.

TV: Infomercials

Local network affiliates should really be banned from showing infomercials. It's beneath them, and lowers the standing of the networks. It demeans television itself! I don't mind if the low-watt channels with the numbers above "13" and Andy Griffith re-runs show infomercials.

WFAA, ABC's affiliate in Dallas was showing one last night. It was set up to look like a talk show. The "guest" was Kevin Trudeau, a name well-known to the Federal Trade Commission. I think I've seen him before as the "host", but maybe those legal settlements mean he can't be the interviewer anymore. He was hawking a book about pain treatment. (He's been banned from appearing on infomercials, but this ban exempts infomercials for books. So, guess what, he's selling a book.)

Anyway, what was interesting was the lack of chemistry between Trudeau and the "interviewer". Trudeau kept asking rhetorical questions - and the interviewer jumped in to answer them. Trudeau was obviously annoyed by these interruptions. He needs to hire someone who will keep to the script.

A Google search for "Kevin Trudeau" turned up some web sites that attack his integrity, just so that they can sell you something shady themselves. That's a pretty swell accomplishment - becoming a watchword for "sleaze" that other sleazy people can use.

Music: Chris Spedding

The sheet music for one of my favourite songs as a lad, "Motor Bikin'" by Chris Spedding. Here are the people for whom he's done session work. Eno, Bryan Ferry, Elton John, Richard Harris, Harry Nilsson, Acker Bilk, Katie Melua, Pan's People and the Wombles, and production work for the Sex Pistols.

Music: Mash-ups

I'm rather partial to a good Mash-Up, so I'm currently listening to Spoilt Victorian Child's Mash-Up Radio Blog. Good start with Stevie Wonder's "Uptight" meshing with the Clash's "Rock The Casbah". Skipped Beatles vs Skee-Lo (just click the next track name or "ZAP!" to skip). Eminem with various TV theme tunes (some British) has novelty appeal. "Killing Moon" and "Voulez Vous", still thinking about that one. I don't know who's on "Hard Galang" but I like it.

Automobiles: Hospital Parking Fees

Visitors to Beaumont Hospital in Dublin must pay for parking. €2 per hour, with a maximum of €7.50 per 24 hours. I always complain about having to pay for parking at sporting events in the US, but this takes the biscuit! You have to pay at The Adelaide & Meath and Crumlin too. A Government audit that looked at the contract awarded by Beaumont to develop and manage the car park called it "a right royal cock-up".

Ireland: Parochialism

An article about Kristin Gore in the (Irish) Sunday Independent (registration required) is headlined, "The life and times of America's answer to our Cecelia Ahern". (Kristin is Al's novelist daughter. Cecilia is Irish Prime Minister Bertie's novelist daughter.)

That reminds me of the time our French teacher, Mrs. O'Hanlon, described the Champs Elysée as the "Grafton Street of Paris". (Don't get my wrong - I thought "Shapes" was great.)

And that, in turn, reminds me of when Jock hadn't studied for the vocabulary test and was asked the French for "Strawberry". Long pause, and then in a hopeful voice, "La Raspberreee?"

TV: "Green Acres"

Farewell, then, Eddie Albert. (One of his films was called "A Dispatch From Reuters" so it's fitting to link to their report.) An avid environmentalist, Earth Day was designated as April 22nd, "partly in honor of his birthday". (Doesn't say what the other reasons were.)

And what a great show "Green Acres" was. It deserves a place in TV history just for the Ziffels' "child", Arnold. This guy claims that Matt Groening cited "Green Acres" as an influence on "The Simpsons". I believe it. (Hear the French version of the theme song.)

Quote: "I Was Looking For The Virgin"

Quote of the week from a Dallas Morning News story about the image of Jesus that has appeared in an apartment window in Fort Worth:

"The image is very clear. At first I didn't see it; I was looking for the virgin. And now that I look at it, it looks very good," said Norma Quiroz, who was driving by Thursday and stopped when she saw a crowd.

Time

Big Ben stopped ticking for 90 minutes. Was the 10:30pm ITV news late? What sound did they use to introduce it? Did Sir Trevor McDonald, OBE, have to go "Dong!" himself?

Internet: Colr Pickr

Looking for a stock photo that uses a certain colour? Try Krazydad's Flickr Stock Repository Colr Pickr. The creator, Jim Bumgardner admits, "To those that question the utility of this little application, let me point out that it is a toy -- like all the stuff on my website. It's purpose is simply to provide wonder and delight. Nothing more, nothing less. Isn't that enough?" Yes, it certainly is.

Movies: "To Kill A Mockingbird"

Did you know that Truman Capote (real name: Truman Streckfus Persons) was the inspiration for the character Dill in "To Kill A Mockingbird"? (I didn't - thanks Amy!)

It's the quintessential Gregory Peck role, but Rock Hudson was the studio's first choice. Scout was played by 9-year-old Mary Badham (sister of John Badham, schlock director). Hey look! After 39 years, Mary Badham has another movie coming out!

Philip Alford, who played Jem, hasn't done any film work since 1972. He's a businessman in Birmingham, Alambama, and gave this testimonial to a local Graduate School. (IMDb incorrectly spells 'Philip' with two ells.)

Harper Lee made a rare public appearance last week. There is no truth to the rumour she's writing a sequel, "Revenge Of The Mockingbird".

Internet: Video

I'm a cynic, as you know, so I think it's staged but it's still pretty darn good. Woman fights off purse-snatcher video.

Politics: Presidential Election 2008

Eric's prediction for 2008 is Condoleezza Rice v. Hillary Clinton. (A photo of them together - who's the tall girl in between?) "Give me Condi minus the points," says Eric. But what does Sweden think? Sweden gives it to Condi, 22 to 21. (They also say "Angelina Jolie förnekar förhållande med Pitt", but they would, the randy gits.)

Someone has registered Rice2008.com. They're selling a bobble-head doll that doesn't look much like her. I love their unbiased poll. The question is, Should Condi run for President? The four options are:

1. Yes! I was thinking the same thing!
2. First I've heard of it, but, I love it!
3. Yes + she should be made VP now!
4. No way, she's too smart and articulate.

Where's the "She wasn't a very good NSA, isn't making much progress as Secretary of State, and would be a terrible NFL Commissioner" option?

For those suffering from Pink Eye, a soundclip of Lenny saying, "Ahh.. My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"