Internet: Wikipedia Names Your Band

Here's a fun time-waster, courtesy of the internet.

1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit "random". The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
   
2. Go to Random Quotations. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
   
3. Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days". The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
   
4. Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.
   

There's a group of these album covers on flickr.

Here's my contribution. Band name = Surberg (municipality in Bavaria). Album title = "Administered With Subhuman Inefficiency". (Quote from Eric Ambler.) Cover is a beautiful black and white shot of an elderly lady walking through a rain-slick town square at night, with head down. I suspect Surberg are a post-industrial German band, who make experimental "found sound" collages, live in a squat, but go home to get their laundry done.

Lyrics Quiz: Making Love

Just in time for Valentine's Day! (#9 and #10 have "Making Love" in the title.)

1. Cast my memory back there, lord. Sometimes I'm overcome thinking about making love in the green grass, behind the stadium.
   
2. Moving forward, using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best.
   
3. Making love in the afternoon with ------- up in my bedroom. I got up to wash my face. When I come back to bed, someone's taken my place.
   
4. We can funk until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone.
   
5. I crawl like a viper through these suburban streets. Make love to these women, languid and bittersweet.
   
6. A force from above, cleaning my soul. Flame on burn desire. Love with tongues of fire. Purge the soul. Make love your goal.
   
7. Making love with his ego.
   
8. A woman's love can lift you up, and women can inspire. I feel like buying flowers and hiring a celestial choir. A choir of castratis to serenade my love. They'd sing a little Bach for us and then we'd make love.
   
9. If I had those golden dreams of my yesterdays, I would wrap you in the heaven 'til I'm dyin' on the way.
   
10. And I know the roads to riches, and I know the ways to fame. I know all the rules, and then I know how to break 'em. And I always know the name of the game.
    

(2/21) And one more I forgot:

Drying up in conversation.
You will be the one who cannot talk.
All your insides fall to pieces.
You just sit there wishing you could still make love.

Radio: "The Story"

Heard a fascinating radio piece tonight from American Public Media's "The Story". When she was 7, Andrea Richardson Stowers lost her military pilot father in an air crash. She has tried to uncover details of his secret government work, but the power of the story lay in the smaller dramas of loss, guilt and coping.

There is more about the USAF crew (and what they were doing) at the Arlington Cemetery site.

Safety: Level Crossings

I challenge you to watch this video without exclaiming "Jesus!".

(Thanks to Neil for the link.)

Here's an Indian level crossing, and it's just as you would imagine.

This US video looks fake to me.

And finally, a brutal PSA from Australia.

TV: Game Show Ideas

• "Family Freud" - two families must psycho-analyze each other.
  
• "Deeley Or No Deeley" - contestants must decide whether the show's hostess is, in fact, Cat Deeley, or one of the hundred other English people currently presenting US game shows.
  
• "Cash Hansom Cab" - the History Channel's first game show. Contestants are transported in a horse-drawn carriage while answering questions about the 19th century.
  
• "Depardieuy" - quiz where contestants must deliver their answers in the form of a Gérard Depardieu impression.
  
• "The Leakiest Wink" - Wink Martindale competes against other people named Wink to see who has the best bladder control.
  

And a separate set of suggestions for BBC Northern Ireland:

• "Countydown"
  
• "The Newry Wed Game"
  
• "Win, Lose Or Dromore"
  

Advertising: Cheers & Jeers

• Jeers to AT&T for their Pepe Le Pew commercial showing him being pursued by the female cat. He's always the one pursuing her! (Okay, maybe not always.)
  
• Jeers to H&R Block for a series of ads showing shlubs bragging "I've got people". (Thus breaking my #1 rule for ads: never show unattractive people using your product.) This sauna one is the worst, because we have to look at the fat bald guy wearing only a towel. (It also really annoys me that I recognize him from somewhere - another commercial?)
  
• Jeers to Budweiser for being Budweiser.
  
• Jeers to CareerBuilder.com for their annoyingly repetitious ad from Superbowl XLIII.
  
• Jeers to Pizza Hut for their series of "hidden camera" spots where "ordinary people" (aka unemployed actors) are amazed that the crap they just ate came from Pizza Hut. (These ads are better backwards because you get to see the patrons spitting out the food.) The ad I hate most is where Chef Elisabeth has her hipster friends try "The Natural". It's her hand motions that annoy me most. Folgers were doing this back in the '70s.
  

Film/Physics: "The Italian Job"

"The Italian Job" problem solved. (How do they get the gold from the end of the bus (which is hanging over a cliff)?)
I agree with the commenter who wrote:

"So... once they've deflated the tyres and drained the fuel tanks (presumably over the edge of the cliff) how do they drive away with the gold? The winning solution has just replaced one problem with another."

YouTube: Wolves and Foxes

I've created a couple of music video playlists for bands who are named after or sing about wolves or foxes. Enjoy.

Music: Country Lyrics

Do you ever see or hear something so strange that it makes you think that either the world has gone crazy or you have? I had that sensation when I saw the TV ad for Snuggies. Truly a WTF moment. (And now I just saw the Slanket video.)

Driving home tonight, I heard "Mental Revenge", as performed by Waylon Jennings. Something about the lyrics struck me as just a little off. "So all in all, if the curtain should fall, Lord, I hope that it falls on you." That's stupid but funny, I suppose. "Well, I hope that the train from Caribou, Maine, runs over your new love affair. You walk the floor from door to door, and pull out your peroxide hair." Bitter! And then the chorus: "I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge. I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge." I'm not sure what "mental revenge" is. How does it differ from non-mental revenge? I think it was just my frame of mind, but at the time, this song struck me as completely nuts.

Shouldn't be surprised by the repetition of "sweet" considering the song was written by stammering Mel Tillis.

That song was immediately followed by Randy Houser's "Anything Goes", and that has great lyrics (written by Brice Long and John Wiggins). "Anything goes when everything's gone." It represents what I like best about country music - clever yet meaningful wordplay.

Music: U2 Cover

Pitchfork reports that the cover of the new U2 album is a photograph that was previously used by some "sound artists". (They sound like white noise to me.) I'm sure this was an innocent move by U2, who, like the rest of us, had probably never heard of these pretentious tossers.

Didn't U2 get into trouble for "The Unforgettable Fire" photos by Anton Corbijn, because he was copying the technique of another photo artist? Now they actually pay to use the original photo and get (very minor) flak.

My only objection is that the album is called "No Line On The Horizon", and the photo very clearly has a line on the horizon.

Pitchfork mentions this happened before to Bob Dylan and Luna.

The same photo was also used by Fountains Of Wayne and The Flamingoes.

You can hear the new U2 single, "Get On Your Boots", on their site. I like the "sexy boots" line but "Kinky Boots" would be better. In fact, "Zip Up Your Mickey" would have been a better title for the song.

Music: "Running With The Devil"

I've actually never heard Van Halen's "Running With The Devil" before, but someone must have leaked Dave Lee Roth's isolated vocal track, because it's all over the internet.

There's a Diamond Dave soundboard. Not sure if you could really make a prank call with it. (Although Howard Stern did one with an impersonator.)

Now someone has put the vocals to an auto-generated backing track, and it's awful. The software that created the music, Microsoft's Songsmith, has a cheesetastic promo video.

The DLR vocals have also been used in mash-ups with
the Beatles, Queen, Michael Jackson, and (the best of a bad lot) Stevie Wonder.

TV: "Countdown"

I'm looking forward to seeing the new host of "Countdown", Jeff Stelling, on my next trip home. (I liked Des O'Connor more than I expected, Des Lynam was terrible, and Richard Whitely was a lovable idiot.)

Stelling is a sports presenter in Britain, and his Wikipedia page lists some of his "Dad" jokes, like "it looks as if Jellyman has thrown a wobbly" and (when Guy Branston was sent off) "he got himself in a pickle". He comes across as a nice chap in this Guardian interview.

The official photo of Carol Vorderman's replacement, Rachel Riley, doesn't do her any favours. Looks far too prim and proper. The Daily Mail has a high school photo for comparison. Then again, Carol had some awful '80s looks at the start.

Their first show is tomorrow, January 12.

Sports: Appropriate Names

New York Giants DE Justin Tuck has an appropriate name. Did they create the Tuck Rule for him? Either way, he gets to start his vacation early.

And here's a cryptic crossword clue for Eric:

QB Pennington may scramble (6,7)

Music: Bonnie "Prince" Billy

The stand-out track on Bonnie "Prince" Billy's latest album, "Lie Down In The Light", has to be "Missing One", particularly for anyone who has lost a parent. You can hear it at this blog.

Will Oldham played some acoustic concerts with his brothers in 2006. It seems to have been a tribute to their father, who had died recently. Mostly traditional songs. You can hear most of it at Aquarium Drunkard.

Music: First Aid Kit

Charming video of Swedish duo First Aid Kit covering "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by Fleet Foxes. (And it's a bit late, but they also do a great "Blue Christmas".

(There's also a Nova Scotian band called the First Aid Kit (who don't exactly stand out from the crowd), an extinct post-punk band called First Aid Kit from Connecticut, and a Spanish electronic-ish band called First Aid Kit, who are actually quite pleasant.)

Crime: Mug Shots

2008 Mug Shots Of The Year from The Smoking Gun. #16 is an excellent example of gurning. #8 is a model father-son relationship. But #7 is the most poignant - a single tear barely visible below the shades.

YouTube: Hank and Townes

A piece in the Irish Times yesterday reminded me that Hank Williams and Townes Van Zandt both died on January 1 (1953 and 1997 respectively). Here are some YouTube highlights.

• Hank doing "Cold Cold Heart" and "I Can't Help It", a duet with June Carter's sister
  
• "Long Gone Lonesome Blues", set to home movies
  
• "Be Careful Of Stones That You Throw" by Hank's alter ego, Luke The Drifter
  
• Terry Bradshaw (!) covers "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry", and it's not bad
  
• Townes performing "the first song I ever wrote", "Waitin' Around To Die"
  
• "Pancho & Lefty" on TNN in 1993 (and Townes talks about the song)
  
• "Kathleen", set to some B&W movie
  
• Cowboy Junkies cover "To Live Is To Fly"
  
• Emmylou Harris covers "If I Needed You" with Chris Farley/Steve Earle, which cuts to Townes in 1975
  

Sports: Quotes of 2008

Mark emailed us this Guardian blog post with a sports quote of the year:

His classic reply to a journalist who asked "What does Chris Hoy think of Chris Hoy?" - "Chris Hoy thinks that the day Chris Hoy refers to Chris Hoy in the third person is the day that Chris Hoy disappears up his own arse."

(The item at the end of the post about Lance Armstrong is even better.)

The Irish Times has their sports quote of the year. Best Colemanballs quote:

"Paul Maloney has a look between his legs and he will like what he sees." - Channel 4's Derek Thompson on a race at Taunton. Lest you were wondering, Maloney's nag was leading by a distance.

Best put-down of an individual:

"Dirk Kuyt is earning himself the reputation as Anfield's Prince Harry - in the frontline for three months and no one knows anything about it." - Sun reporter Phil Thomas on Liverpool's hit-and-miss Dutchman.

Best put-down of a nation:

"They've won 40 per cent of their medals in cycling - if only there was snooker, darts and a dog show." - NBC presenter Jim Lampley on Britain's success at the Olympic Games.

Best joke by a septuagenarian:

"Ooh, Carol Vorderman, I like her. I was watching Countdown last week and I got aroused . . . seven letters wasn't a bad score, I thought." - BBC golf commentator Peter Alliss very, very nearly causing us to lose our lunch.

For more US-centric quotes, try the Chicago Daily Herald:

Herman Edwards, coach of the struggling Kansas City Chiefs, on whether he's a candidate for the job at San Diego State: "I've got a college team now."

Doc Rivers, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?"

This Arsenal fan site has a few good ones:

'They've kicked our backsides. Now we've got to lick our wounds' - Steve Bruce gives an unedifying image.

The BBC has their list, too:

"Brock's a big bloke, isn't he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you'd tuck him in!" Ricky Hatton during the Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Mixed Martial Arts fight.

"I've never been one for stats and milestones, I just try to do the best for my team. I'm the third fastest person in the history of the game to get 10,000." Ricky Ponting showed remarkable knowledge for someone who was not one for stats and milestones.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test Match cricket." Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?" During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough

The O.C. Register has a slideshow:

"I can't screw up Alabama. We're 48th in everything and Arkansas and Mississippi aren't going anywhere." - Charles Barkley, on his plans to run for governor.

"Manny Ramirez is not here. His grandmother must have died again." - President George W. Bush, at the White House ceremony honoring the champion Red Sox.

Music: Gramercy Arms

The always reliable Chromewaves recommends (somewhat lukewarmly) Gramercy Arms. Perfect listening for this lull between Christmas and New Years. (Co-produced by Nathan Larson, who is Mr. Nina Persson. Very excited about the new A Camp record coming to the US on April 28th.)

Gramercy Arms even have a Christmas song with the singer from Mascott.

Probably unrelated: Rick Danko and Robbie Robertson stayed at the Gramercy Arms Hotel.

Covers: "Jailbreak"

Norway's Susanna (of Susanna and the Magical Orchestra) has recorded a cover of Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak" on her new CD. Bonnie "Prince" Billy is on backing vocals.

The Cardigans covered "The Boys Are Back In Town", so we can infer that all female Scandinavian singers like Thin Lizzy.