YouTube: "This Old House"

Songs called "This Old House" (or "Ole" or "Ol'").

• Stuart Hamblen (1954 - I just know the Shakin' Stevens cover)
  
• Neil Young (Farm Aid, 1987)
  
• Madrugada (Norwegian band, 1999, check out their other videos)
  
• Madeline (1993 - some French indie chick, I think)
  
• Acoustic Dad - nice strumming. Annoyingly, reminds me of another song I can't quite identify.
  

Sports: Coach Facial Expressions

Shells adds the scowl of an old college basketball coach, Eddie Sutton.

YouTube: "Whole Wide World"

This is a little gem: Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby live in Dallas playing his biggest song, "Whole Wide World", as seen in "Stranger Than Fiction".

The original - how young he was when he was young!

Cover by Irish singer Gemma Hayes - "Ah, shite!"

Cover by the Monkees - is that Mickey singing?

Cover by the Proclaimers, proving (despite what Mike Myers might say) that something can be Scottish AND crap.

Cover by Laptop - at least he's trying to do something different with it.

Guitar lesson - only two chords!

Sports: NFL Coach Facial Expressions

Sure, Bill Cowher's scowl was disturbing, the way the down-turned corners of his mouth appeared to go all the way to the edge of his face, like a pissed off Beaker.

And Tampa Bay's Jon Gruden has a really scary angry face.

But the one that gives me the willies is Saints coach Sean Payton when he sucks in his cheeks and purses his lips. (Yeah, he does look like Kenny Chesney. And I guess the look might be stolen from Zoolander.)

YouTube: Local 80s Acts

Hey, remember the '80s? Doctor Proctor, Kansas City, MO band on local TV, circa 1984. Worth it just to see the lead singer. Wonder whatever happened to the bass player?

Here's a more sophisticated Connecticut band, Disturbance, from 1983.

Maryland, 1985, and Butch Willis and the Rocks - you have to see the back-up singer's technique. This may be the best song I've heard today.

In a different league is this Atlanta band, The Raves - good McCartney impression!

Essays: Innovation

New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell on the subject of innovation.

YouTube: Dutch Music

Music from the Netherlands.

• The Tielman Brothers, "Rollin' Rock" (1960) (Dutch-Indonesian rockabilly - amazing!)
  
• Golden Earrings, "Daddy Buy Me A Girl" (1966) (love the dancing chick!)
  
• Golden Earring, "Radar Love" (1973) (they dropped the "S" - video with Spongebob)
  
• Gruppo Sportivo, "Disco Really Made It" (1979)
  
• Nits, "In The Dutch Mountains" (1987)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Palomine" (1992)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Under The Surface" (1992)
  
• Carol van Dyk, "Silent Spring" (1998) (with John Cale)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Lover I Don't Have To Love" (Bright Eyes cover)
  
• Chitlin Fooks, "The Battle" (2001) (Carol's country side-project)
  
• Rock 4, "Paranoid Android" (a capella cover)
  

Bonus: Frank Black pays tribute to Herman Brood.

Nitpicking: "Literally" 2

Okay, we've been here before, but Eric emailed me this Jerry Jones quote about Adam Jones: "He's literally on a high wire without a net."

And on "The Daily Show" tonight, conservative author Christopher Buckley said that after he publicly backed Obama, "quite literally, all hell broke loose."

And in the Obama piece, he writes about his editor, "As for Kathleen, she has to date received 12,000 (quite literally) foam-at-the-mouth hate-emails."

I can't decide if misusing "quite literally" is worse than misusing plain "literally", or not. Depends if you're speaking American English or English English:

Quite is used differently in English English and American English. American English tends to use the old meaning of 'absolutely, completely', whereas English English tends to use quite as a sort of begrudging 'fairly, adequately but...'.

There is a blog tracking misuse of "Literally", but they haven't posted since August.

(A Joe Biden speech - and may I say that Biden's prediction of an international crisis early in an Obama presidency was a huge gaffe, not because of any doubts that may be planted in voters' minds about Obama but because it confirms what a self-important windbag old Joe is. "Mark my words...Remember I said it standing here, if you don't remember anything else I said...I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it's going happen. I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate." The CNN report ends with: Biden appeared to forget Sunday night's fundraiser wasn't closed to reporters, saying, "I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here." It's not too late to dump Biden and pick Marlee Matlin.)

Small Towns: Hutchinson, KS

Wow! Someone actually walks in Hutchinson, Kansas! "If they're having dinner out, she and her husband walk to the restaurant just like a couple in New York City." Goll-ee! Demerit for using the phrase "more unique".

The courthouse in Reno County had a bad smell. "Some witnesses, including Schroeder, an Oklahoma grad, likened it to a dead KU Jayhawk." Now why would a Kansan go to OU? That doesn't make sense.

Hutch (as I like to call it) was the birthplace for composer Steven Stucky. He's on YouTube!

And look! A cute college girl from Hutch!

Beverages: Zima

RIP Zima. Used as the punchline in 9 Top Ten lists, most in 1994 and 1995. Never tried it.

YouTube: Road Songs

• Lars Bygden & Ane Brun - "This Road" (Read about her at the NY Times)
  
• The Cardigans - "The Road" (One of my favourite Cardigan songs. Too bad we only see the back of Nina's head.)
  
• The Cowboy Junkies with Ryan Adams - "200 More Miles" (For 20th anniversary of "The Trinity Sessions".)
  
• The Highwaymen - "On The Road Again" (My least favourite Willie Nelson song.)
  
• Katie Melua - "On The Road Again" (Canned Heat cover.)
  
• Barrabas - "On The Road Again" (Spanish disco.)
  
• Lightnin' Hopkins - "Lonesome Road" (And dominos!)
  
• The Triffids - "Wide Open Road" (Perfect.)
  

Lyrics Quiz: Save

Here's one I've been "saving" up. #1-7 have "Save" or "Saving" in the title. #8-12 don't.

1. "And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance. But fear is in your soul. Some people call it a one night stand. But we can call it paradise."
   
2. "We try to hustle them, try to bustle them, try to cuss them. The cops want someone to bust down on Orleans Avenue."
   
3. "When I think of those East End lights, muggy nights. The curtains drawn in the little room downstairs. Prima Donna. Lord, you really should have been there. Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair."
   
4. "Sooner or later, your legs give way, you hit the ground."
   
5. "Its not very easy, living all alone. My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own. But each time I try, I just break down and cry, 'cause Id rather be home feeling blue."
   
6. "Go on and close the curtains, 'cause all we need is candle light. You and me and a bottle of wine. Going to hold you tonight. Well we know I'm going away, and how I wish, I wish it weren't so. So take this wine and drink with me. Let's delay our misery."
   
7. "Though it hurts to go away, it's impossible to stay. But there's one thing I must say before I go. I love You (I love you). You know." (Video clue)
   
8. "There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. Because maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me."
   
9. "Jack, he is a banker. And Jane, she is a clerk. And both of them save their money when they come home from work."
   
10. "And some have sailed from a distant shore. And the company takes what the company wants. And nothing's as precious as a hole in the ground. Who's gonna save me?" (Not "Who's gonna shave me?" as some thought at the time.)
    
11. "Like a worm on a hook. Like a knight from some old fashioned book. I have saved all my ribbons for thee."
    
12. "Don’t help me - I can save myself. If I’m incomplete, don’t fill the gaps. Save me from the people who would save me from myself."
    

Bonus: The Triffids, "Save What You Can" video.

Well it doesn't look much like we'll see the New Year,
'Cos all the bright young faces are here.
And I can't see us rising to their occasion any more.
No, not their Christmas cheer.

Time is against us, even love conspires to disgrace us.
And with things being what they are ...
Yes and things being what they are

Oh my friend, we used to walk in the flames.
Now somebody's taken my arms.
The shadows are taller, you're missing your halo.
With your face in the half-light you look like a stranger.

You made me catch my breath just then,
You made me catch my breath.
Is that you... is that still you?

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

The final time we touch,
I watch as you enter the church.
You turn and you wave, then you kneel and you pray.
And you save of yourself what you can save.

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

And between ourselves, and the end at hand,
Save what you can.

(Official website)

Music: Dukes

• I heartily recommend listening to the new album by Duke Special (click on the song titles in the ad on this page to listen). Reminds me of "Room To Roam"-era Waterboys. Just hate the dreadlocks. On "Later With Jools Holland". Covering "Video Killed The Radio Star" live.
  
• Not to be confused with the Duke Spirit. Good record store appearance. Here they are trying to be the Velvet Underground and Nico. Another video.
  
• Duke Robillard playing with Tom Waits.
  
• And let's not forget the Dukes of Stratosphear, an outlet for XTC's psychedelic psyde. A video!
  
• The original: Duke Ellington (with two other pianists on David Frost's show). And "Take The 'A' Train". And "Satin Doll".
  

Advertising: Sharp

Why is Sharp using that freaky albino scientist (Dr. Gerard Fasel, in their TV ads? He's almost as creepy as the Lipitor guy. Apparently, he'll play an albino security guard in a movie.

Internet: Google 2001

Google is celebrating their 10th anniversary by allowing users to search their oldest available index (from January 2001). A search for "Sarah Palin" returns zero matches. "Paris Hilton" returns one result about the "teen beauty" followed by many results for the hotel.

Video: "Take On Me"

Literal version of aHa's "Take On Me".

Religion: Yom Kippur

Last year on Yom Kippur, I went to see a Keira Knightley movie with a rabbi and the Prime Minister of Israel. The ticket collector at the cinema let them in, but then put out her arm to stop me following. "I'm sorry, sir," she said, "but this is the Jewish day of 'Atonement'."

Obituaries: Jerry Reed

Reuters obituary for country singer Jerry Reed. Live performances of "When You're Hot, You're Hot" and "A Thing Called Love". He was in "Smokey And The Bandit" (as well as performing the theme song). And he even appeared in Scooby Doo.

Obituaries: Don LaFontaine

Washington Post tribute to movie trailer voiceover artiste Don LaFontaine. (Via The Rich Girls Are Weeping.)

Politics: Sarah Palin

• Sarah Palin's Vlog (actually, comedian Sara Benincasa). "I'm a mother of five..five children I had myself." (Via Wonkette, which has taken to calling her a "snowbilly".)
  
• Fake blog: The PalinDrome (cute). Guest post from "Todd", addressed to his pregnant daughter: "I will admit I was worried at first about this fiancey of yours. I mean Levi, thats not a normal name like Trapper or Hunter or Trigger or Scout."
  
• The Guardian offers two actual palindromes.
  
• The L.A. Times asks who'll play her in inevitable TV movie. No surprise - Tina Fey has a commanding lead.
  
• Did McCain wince when he heard her screechy voice for the first time? Check out this video at about the 2:05 mark. And 4:12. She needs the same voice training they gave Margaret Thatcher. And why does McCain keep tugging on his ring finger?
  
• The Anchorage Daily News has an article about her ex-brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten. Worth reading just for the subheading, "TASING THE STEPSON". That sounds like it should be a euphemism for something.
  
• Updated 9/3: McCain has called Palin "spectacular". Must be a "Seinfeld" fan.
  

Lyrics Quiz: Mystery Theme 4

A "mystery theme" quiz from Eric:

1. Mid-west farmer's daughters really make you feel all right.
   
2. Stopped into a church, I passed along the way. Well I got down on my knees, and I pretend to pray.
   
3. They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast.
   
4. Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow, I think I might be sinking.
   
5. Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation.
   

Bonus: alphabetical lyrics quiz by Matthew Baldwin. I don't know about you, but this quiz really does a number on my brain!

Internet: Sexy People

OK, this is just mean: Sexy People - but the picture of the Cousins will bring a smile to your face. And what's with these Dutch girls with tiara and sceptre? (Via Defamer.)

YouTube: Neil Diamond Covers

Covers of Neil Diamond songs.

• "Cherry Cherry" by The Music Machine
  
• "Solitary Man" by Johnny Cash
  
• "Solitary Man" by Chris Isaak
  
• "Love On The Rocks" by Millie Jackson
  
• "I'm A Believer" by Tori Amos
  
• "Kentucky Woman" by Deep Purple
  
• "Song Sung Blue" by Altered Images
  
• "Holly Holy" by the Fabulous Flames
  
• "Hello Again" by podline6
  
• "America" by the Castillo Kids
  

Models: Sunshine Tutt

Eric broke the sad news that ex-SNL star Chris Kattan is separating from his model wife of two months, Sunshine Tutt.

Signs that the marriage was doomed from the start:

• He proposed on Christmas Eve in Gainesville, TX.
  
• He addressed her as "bro" during the proposal.
  
• At the wedding, Parker Posey was the Best Man.
  
• The wedding photos were published in In Touch magazine.
  
• Her name is Sunshine.
  
• He was Mango!
  

Sports: Appropriate Olympics Names

Eric points out that Men's 100m winner Usain Bolt has a most appropriate name. Although Dolt would suit him better. I cannot understand why you would ease up at the end of a race, no matter how big your lead. Wanker.

There's a female US runner (400m) called DeeDee Trotter.

New Zealand has a rower named George Bridgewater.

Australia has a Shooting competitor (a marksman) named Russell Mark. (Thank God he's not called Mark Russell.)

French cyclist Cecile Rode.

Does British swimmer Liam Tancock practise the backstroke in the nude? Perhaps with Aussie swimmer Natalie Titcume?

I hope Japan's kayaker Yuriko Takeshita does not have an appropriate name (even if Lisa Simpson could make an anagram out of it).

Music: Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams has a new place for his crazy shit: drawings, tributes to his guitars, old photos, strange videos, incomprehensible gibberish. Here is a supposed Heavy Metal song, "Love Woman" by Sleazy Handshake - presumably Ryan his own self. "Stand Up (On My Nuts)" is better.

YouTube: Recent Videos

• "Rich Girls" by The Virgins. Video Hottie alert!
  
• "Momma's Boy" by Chromeo. Good B&W animation, very retro song.
  
• "White Winter Hymnal" by Fleet Foxes. So-so stop-motion animation by the singer's brother.
  
• "I Decided" by Solange (Beyonce's younger sister). Cartoonish trip through the last four decades.
  
• "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" by She & Him. Gratuitous cartoon violence. We get it - you're a cute girl who wants to be taken seriously.
  
• "Wake Up Call" by "Heroes" cheerleader Hayden Panettiere. It's bad when people compare your song to Paris Hilton - and, actually, Paris's song was better.
  
• "Run Run" by Swedish girl group Those Dancing Days.
  
• Cover of Blondie's "Picture This" by Robert Forster and Lisa Miller on Australian TV.
  

Thursday Miscellany

Mixum-gatherum of stories from around the web, with a heavy porn flavour.

• This one's for Woody: movie theatre has unintentionally dirty marquee.
  
• Tape of drunk Larry King from many years ago.
  
• Nicolas Sarkozy drunk after meeting with Vladimir Putin.
  
• Google launches Wikipedia competitor, Knol (but not knol.com, which seems to be a Dutch manufacturer of masturbation aids). Knol's articles are written by experts, not the masses. The first article that caught my eye was one on Breast Augmentation. Despite their controlled commenting system, the first comment is "yay tits!". Other good comment about how the "before" pictures (supplied by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons) are "gray and dead-looking".
  
• Meanwhile, new Google rival, Cuil, had a slight problem with gay porn images popping up in inappropriate places.
  

Harpists: Merry Miller

Remember that embarrassing cable TV interview with Holly Hunter from a year ago? The interviewer, Merry Miller, is also an accomplished harpist. She makes music for babies.

I hope this new endeavour helps her overcome her moment of infamy. Sadly, it didn't work for Bill Buckner when he released an album of sea shanties played on the spoons.

Blogs: Patanoia

Time for a new slogan for Patanoia, and time to retire "Compressed knitters humbling formica - reassured against the against, again with the sideswipe." It had a good run.

Emergency Calls: Drunk British Woman

Gizmodo has audio of a drunk British woman calling 999 and asking when the internet started, "me darlin'". As they say, the operator is amazingly polite.

More Avon & Somerset Police videos.

Lyrics Quiz: Remember

1. Do you remember there was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand. They used to talk about the weather, making plans together. Days would last forever.
   
2. Think of me as one you'd never figured would fade away so young, with so much left undone. Remember me to my love, I know I'll miss her.
   
3. That's 'Retha Franklin. She don't remember the Queen of Soul.
   
4. For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.
   
5. I remember way back then, when everything was true, and when we would have such a very good time. Such a fine time. Such a happy time.
   
6. I've played all kinds of palaces, and laid all kinds of girls. I can't remember faces, I don't remember names. Ah, but what the hell. You know it's just as well, 'cause after a while and a thousand miles it all becomes the same.
   
7. I can almost remember their funny faces that time you told them that you were going to be marrying.
   
8. Here as I sit at this empty cafe thinking of you, I remember all those moments lost in wonder that we'll never find again.
   
9. So long ago, I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend. Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease, as I listened through the cemetery trees.
   
10. Remember what the dormouse said. Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head.
    

YouTube: Pop Stars Falling

• Beyonce (poor quality but full points for fall)
  
• Bono (walks backwards off stage - wish I could see the Edge's reaction)
  
• Christina Aguilera (just a stumble)
  
• Axl Rose (does he do it deliberately?)
  
• Robbie Williams (but he carries if off with aplomb)
  

Bonus: models falling down.

Sports: Euro 2008

A Euro 2008 round-up.

• I had blamed ESPN for the useless statistics flashed on-screen, but now that I'm back in Ireland, I realise they are part of the official TV feed. A typical example showed that one team led the other 4-3 in being caught Offside. And what's up with showing how many kilometers a player has covered during the game? And how do they measure it?
  
• At least I have escaped Tommy Smyth. Choice Tommy quote: "It's amazing the way the game can change with the flick of an eye."
  
• Now I can hear proper football commentary - a rollcall of players' names as they pass the ball around. Just the way God meant it to be.
  
• All the commentators were very careful how they pronounced the name of Russian midfielder Zhirkov. Hard to hear it without thinking of the joke about the manager who told the player he'd pull him off at half time. Too bad Zhirkov didn't get to play in Bern's Wankdorf Stadium.
  
• I do think it's highly insensitive of ESPN to call their Spanish-language channel ESPN Deportees. The vast majority of Latinos in the US are there legally.
  
• Match the players with their country.
  

  Petit		Germany
  Roger Guerreiro		Sweden
  Lukas Podolski		Poland
  Zlatan Ibrahimović		Portugal

  
  
• Lookalike: Italian coach (already fired) Roberto Donadoni and Flaming Lips leader Wayne Coyne.
  
• I was going to post another lookalike of Franck Ribery and the face-melting Nazi from Indiana Jones, but apparently Ribery was in a bad car accident when he was a kid. As a result, he can only grow a sideburn on one side of his head.
  
• Football is being ruined by one thing: shirt-pulling. There should be an immediate red card for anyone caught tugging another player's shirt. Video replays should be used to enforce the rule. The only alternative is that all players must wear oven mitts.
  
• None of the kits blew me away. I liked the retro look of the German kit. And the numbers on the Dutch shirts crack me up - they look like someone made them from strips of electrical tape. The English Premier League has a standard set of numbers that everyone must use. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was delighted by Germany's typeface in Euro 1996. (But he doesn't like the Dutch "toilet paper numbers.)
  
• Best ESPN quote was from Adrian Healey when the Netherlands added a fourth goal against France: "It's a Dutch Oven, and the French are toast."
  

Sports: Caught Peeking

• Jose Lima eyeing Korean baseball cheerleader
  
• David Beckham checking out Laker Girl's arse
  
• Beckham's sons carry on the family tradition
  
• Now it's Posh's turn
  

Music: Action Biker

I'm not mad about her synthy backing music, but I'm smitten with the Swedish singer who goes by the name Action Biker (born Sarah Nyberg Pergament). In the second half of this video she conjugates French verbs to a ye-ye beat. (You can hear it at her MySpace too.) She sings three songs in this video, just her head singing to the camera. (The first song reminds me very much of early Cardigans.)

One of her many other projects is The Dreamers.

Unrelated: a 3-year-old explains "Star Wars".

Quiz: Presidential Relatives

Eric supplies this quiz. Name the President (or Predidential candidate) who is associated with each relative (some of these are merely metaphorical):

1. Crazy Uncle in the attic
   
2. Crazy Aunt in the basement
   
3. Uncle Joe
   
4. Straying Sisters
   
5. Billy Beer
   

Literature: Clandestine

Read At Work offers a clever interface to read public domain poems and short stories at work. (Via Largehearted Boy.)

Lyrics Quiz: I'm Not

1. "I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know, if you know what I mean."
   
2. "I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. Oh, no."
   
3. "I'm not big on social graces. Think I'll slip on down to the Oasis."
   
4. "Well I'm not the world's most physical guy, but when she sqeezed me tight she
   nearly broke my spine."
   
5. "I'm not a drowning man! And I'm not a burning building! (I'm a tumbler!)"
   
6. "I'm not sleeping - oh, no, no."
   
7. "And I'm not a man who likes to swear, but I never cared for the sound of bein' alone."
   
8. "I'm not a prophet or a stone age man. Just a mortal with the potential of a superman."
   
9. "I'm not the kind that needs to tell you just what you want me to."
   
10. "I'm not sayin' this just to be nasty. I sincerely wanna f*** the taste outta your mouth."
    

Eric adds:

11. I'm not the one who's coming back for more. You know why, been through this so many times.

Baseball: Promotions

Best sports promotion ever: miniature bathroom stall with a "bobblefoot" being given out by the St. Paul Saints. (They're having a "Moment Of Noise" tribute to Marcel Marceaut tonight.) One of these giveaways is already on eBay, and bidding is currently at $102.50.

Sports Illustrated (from 2004) lists the Top 10 Minor League Promotions, half of which were run by Mike Veeck teams.

Mental Floss lists "Five Ballpark Promotions That Went Wrong". Includes the Cleveland Indians' "10 Cent Beer Night" for a game against your Texas Rangers.

YouTube: Recent Music

After those nostalgic "Remember The Eighties?" videos, how about some brand spanking new ones?

• Weezer, "Pork And Beans" (helps if you're "plugged in" to other YouTube phenomena)
  
• Portishead, "The Rip" (sounds more like side project Rustin Man than Portishead)
  
• Goldfrapp, "Happiness" (one of those single tracking shot videos that are a little cliched by now, but it's done well, probably with some camera trickery)
  
• El Perro Del Mar, "Glory To The World" (latest from Sarah Assbring. Bonus Velvets cover.)
  
• El Perro Del Mar & Lykke Li, "After Laughter (Comes Tears)" (live encore by fellow Swedes, with a definite Abba influence in keyboards and choreography)
  
• Hayes Carll, promo for new album
  
• Gary Louris, "True Blue" (from his solo album - this video has only had 5 views. Sad.)
  
• Bon Iver, "The Wolves (Act I & II)"
  
• Phosphorescent, "Wolves" (Black Cab Sessions - see also Spoon, Lykke Li, Okkervil River, The National.)
  

YouTube: 80s Acts

I suddenly had a hankering to hear "Driving Away From Home" by It's Immaterial, and luckily YouTube was there to satisfy. ("Ed's Funky Diner" is also worth hearing.)

And while we're in Liverpool in the '80s, "Hollow Horse" by the Icicle Works.

I could only find this version of "Soul Train" by Swansway - interesting, but not as good as the single version. Two of them later formed Scarlet Fantastic and had a hit with "No Memory".

Another great '80s single: "Heart And Soul" by T'Pau. (Didn't know that was a Star Trek reference.)

Roddy Frame covers "Jump".

This doesn't have a proper video, but it's such a great song: "Return To Yesterday" by the Lilac Time.

Lyrics Quiz: Alliteration

A little alliteration can really enliven a lyric. Which artists recorded these gems?

1. "Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I got what it takes."
   
2. "It's not 'natural', 'normal' or kind, the flesh you so fancifully fry."
   
3. "And if it snows, that stretch down south won't ever stand the strain."
   
4. "We got the bubble-headed bleach-blonde who comes on at five."
   
5. "Chickity China the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'."
   
6. "Wordlessly watching, he waits by the window and wonders at the empty place inside."
   
7. "A little old lady got mutilated late last night."
   
8. "FDA, big bankers buying. Fake computer crashes, dining."
   

Music: Camille

Recommended if you like French pop, art-funk and quirky vocals: Camille and her new album "Music Hole". She was one of the vocalists for Nouvelle Vague.

She's well represented on YouTube:

• "La Demeure D'Un Ciel" (on French TV, good example of how she loops and multi-tracks her voice)
  
• "Au Port" (live on "Later With Jools Holland")
  
• "Gospel With No Lord" (her new single)
  
• "Les Ex" (live in concert)
  
• "Home Is Where It Hurts" (montage for track from new album)
  
• "Le Festin" (from the "Ratatouille" soundtrack)
  
• "Ta Douleur" (video)
  
• "In A Manner Of Speaking" (with Nouvelle Vague - original by Tuxedomoon)
  

YouTube: Tindersticks

Tindersticks have a new album out, "The Hungry Saw" (but not in the US yet).

Here's a selection of videos to tide us over.

• "Downside" by Asphalt Ribbons (precursor of Tindersticks)
  
• "City Sickness" (from the first Tindersticks album)
  
• "No More Affairs" (from the second album, live on Jools Holland)
  
• "I've Been Loving You Too Long" (Otis Redding cover, b-side, home-made video)
  
• "Can We Start Again?" (from "Simple Pleasures")
  
• "Dying Slowly" (from "Can Our Love...")
  
• "Killing Theme" (from soundtrack to "Trouble Every Day", as interpreted by Danish gymnasts)
  
• "16 Summers, 15 Falls" (solo Stuart Staples for La Blogotheque)
  
• "Hungry Saw" (acoustic version of title track from new album)
  

Lookalikes: Ron Wilson

Here's a coaching lookalike that Shell can't pooh-pooh. San Jose Sharks coach Ron Wilson and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" actor Jamey Sheridan.

On the subject of ice hockey, who has the worst broken nose in the sport? Stéphane Robidas. (I tried translating this French blog into English using Babel Fish, and the name "Pat Brisson" came out as "Stalemate Brisson". Also, the Stars "occupy at present the 3e row of Pacifique division behind powerful Ducks d' Anaheim and Sharks de San Jose"

Movie Quote Quiz: God

1. "God has a hard-on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours."
   
2. "You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do."
   
3. "Blame is for God and small children."
   
4. "The Christians are so poor..." "How poor are they?" "Thank you. They are so poor that they only have one God. But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly."
   
5. "We're on a mission from God."
   
6. "Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved."
   
7. "The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God."
   
8. "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"
   
9. "How shall we fuck off, O Lord?"
   
10. "In Limerick, you are only allowed to say you love God, and babies, and horses that win. Anything else is softness in the head."
    

Band List: Bands Named After Songs

Bands named after another artist's song:

• Stars Of Track And Field (song by Belle And Sebastian)
  
• World Leader Pretend (song by REM)
  
• Pretty Girls Make Graves (song by The Smiths)
  
• Shakespear's Sister (also a song by The Smiths)
  
• Ladytron (song by Roxy Music)
  
• Aqualung (song by Jethro Tull)
  

Any others?

(Wikipedia has a comprehensive list.)

Business; Consumer Issues

Consumer stories from Consumerist.

• Vote in their Worst Company In America, bracket-style contest. Some are easy choices for me (Sony over Google, DeBeers over 1-800-FLOWERS, Charter Cable over Wellpoint, Ticketmaster over anyone), others tougher (Target vs Best Buy). (Although I seem to be alone on that last one - 94% chose Best Buy.)
  
• Yes, it happened in San Francisco, but this story of mob rule causing a liquor store to "go green" is an interesting idea.
  
• Cockeyed.com provides a useful consumer service by asking, "How Much Is Inside?" For example, how much is inside Granola Bars? (Don't miss Granola Jenga and the lovely granola raccoon.) And how much is inside a shopping cart? And very droll commentary.
  

Hot Chicks: G4

Which network has the hottest chicks? The geeks' network, G4. (I only stumbled upon it because it's next to Comedy Central - honest, guv.)

• Olivia Munn. She's like a combination of Nina Persson, Jenna Elfman and Joey Lauren Adams, only hotter.
  
• Morgan Webb - yes, that's really her name. Classy lady, even in a bikini.
  
• Kristin Holt, former Dallas Cowboys' cheerleader.
  
• Layla Kayleigh, a multi-ethnic Brit.
  

Bonus video from today's "Attack Of The Show", hilarious office pranks.

Cover Versions: Old People

Copy, Right? has a video of Dame Shirley Bassey covering Pink's "Get The Party Started". They've made Dame Shirley look pretty good for a septuagenarian.

Can you put these cover versions in order of age disparity between original artist and the old fart making a desperate attempt at cred (from high to low)?

1. Dame Shirley covering Pink (M&S ad version, with women who aren't Shirley Bassey in lingerie)
   
2. Tom Jones covering Prince
   
3. Peggy Lee covering George Harrison ("fanvid" for the TV show "House")
   
4. Frank Sinatra covering Billy Joel (static shot of record player)
   

Lyrics Quiz: Saturday

Numbers 1-8 have "Saturday" in the title. Numbers 9 and 10 are just there to make up the numbers.

1. "People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream, singing Italian songs."
   
2. "Don't give us none of your aggravation, we've had it with your discipline."
   
3. "His name was always Buddy, and he'd shrug and ask to stay. She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid, and turn her face away."
   
4. "Now another fella told me he had a sister who looked just fine. Instead of being my deliverance, she had a strange resemblance to a cat named Frankenstein."
   
5. "Two feets they come a-creepin', like a black cat do. And two bodies are lyin' naked. Creeper think he got nothin' to lose."
   
6. "Well you gassed her up behind the wheel, with your arm around your sweet one in your Oldsmobile, barrelin' down the boulevard."
   
7. "There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign, we've all seen at least three times. Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck. Put a dollars worth of gas in his pickup truck."
   
8. "Save up their money for a holiday, to Selsey Bill or Bracklesham Bay. Think about the future when they'll settle down. Marry the girl next door - with one on the way."
   
9. "No April rain, no flowers bloom. No wedding Saturday within the month of June."
   
10. "Oh, oh, oh, something tells me that you're really gone. You said we could be friends, but that's not what I want. And, anyway, my TV dinner's almost done. It's a lonely Saturday night."
    

YouTube: Korean Toddler

Korean toddler singing "Hey Jude" enthusiastically.

His name is Hero, and there is a short piece from Korean TV about him. (No English translation, but there is a bio in the "About this video" section which states, "I was born in Seoul, Korea on Sept.2003. I am not only extreme mania of The Beatles who is the greatest musician, immortal idol of the mankind but also well-informed on autocars beyond just mania." And it shows.

(Via Copy, Right?)

TV: FiOS Guide

The weirdest thing about Verizon's FiOS TV service is the descriptions of the late night talk shows in their on-screen guide. "Affable comic Jimmy Kimmel interviews a varied lineup of guests." Affable? "Cunning late night talk show host Conan O'Brien interviews leading entertainers and provides national exposure to alternative music acts." Cunning? Carson Daly is described as "the young, hip and eccentric MTV personality". Hip and eccentric? And guess who is "the edgy Emmy-winning comedian" who "builds on his predecessors' successes"? Jay Leno? And finally, "using his own zany brand of comedy, talk show host David Letterman interviews popular celebrities and entertains late-night viewers."

Whoever writes these is either really bored or really stoned. Or both.

History: Internet

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I'm sure both of my regular readers have missed me. I've been busy moving house. During the move, I found an old copy of British music mag Mojo. Try to guess the year they printed this guide to the Internet. The answer may surprise you!

Unless you are a member of the Amish, fear is usually the reason for holding out against new technology, but these days the Internet is no longer difficult to master. If you can get money out of a bank machine, then you can send and receive e-mail and browse the World Wide Web; all it entails is pointing and clicking.

1. You need a computer, of course. An Apple Macintosh is easiest to use...

2. You need a modem to connect your computer to a phone line. You need a fast one, 28.8kbps or more...

3. You need a service provider to connect you to the internet. This is just a phone number that your computer dials when you click on the Internet icon...It doesn't matter where in the world you travel on the Internet, you only pay for the local phone call to your server.

Video: HD-DVD vs Blu-Ray

In yet another "Downfall" repurposing, Hitler rants about the high-def DVD formats. (Subtitles NSFW.)

Here's a Arsenal 3 - Tottenham Hotspur 1 version. Subtitles very NSFW, with gratuitous dig at Steve Nash.

Advertising: Lipitor

Have you seen that Lipitor commercial starring Dr. Robert Jarvik, supposed inventor of the artificial heart? How creepy is that guy? (Sample comments on YouTube: "I don't know why but I don't like this guy." "You suck! Quit scammin' sweet old ladies you ass!!" "He likes man.") There's another ad that shows him with his son, as if to emphasize that he's not gay, but he's still creepy.

Jarvik reminded me of someone and I couldn't put my finger on it. There's a little John Malkovich there, maybe a little Spalding Gray. But then it hit me: he should be lowering the medicine in a bucket down a well and saying, "It takes the Lipitor and it reduces its bad cholestrol."

The good news is that the House Energy and Commerce committee is including him in their investigation of prescription medicine marketing.

He's married to that Marilyn vos Savant woman. (Looks like the son that commercial is actually hers from a previous marriage.)

Sports: June Jones

• June Jones - college football coach, just signed to SMU
  
• June Jones - R&B female vocalist
  
• Junie B. Jones - First Grade girl who stars in a series of children's books
  
• Junior Jones - bantamweight boxer with the nickname "Poison"
  
• Juniper Jones - the fake name used by Robert Young in the film "Cairo"
  
• July Jones - actor in black films of the 1940s (and a song by the New Pornographers)
  
• Julius Jones - running back for the Dallas Cowboys
  
• The 4th of July at Jones Beach
  
• Jill Jones - saucy songstress and former Prince protegée
  

Celebrities: Priscilla Ceballos

Priscilla Ceballos, the Garland mother whose daughter won a Hannah Montana essay contest, has apologized for making up her eyebrows. "I apologize to anyone who saw the thin dark lines above my eyes and thought they might be real brows. I apologize to anyone who has been having nightmares about my eyebrows. I apologize especially to our armed forces who are fighting to give me the right to shave off my real brows and replace them with with sideways parentheses."

TV News: Cynthia

I didn't realize that Channel 8's new morning anchor, Cynthia Izaguirre, was the newswoman in the infamous clip where she previews an item about a blind mountaineer by saying, "But he's gay. I mean, he's gay. Excuse me, he's blind". She has another uncomfortable YouTube moment with a drunk Dale Hansen from New Year's Eve.

Why does everyone make such a big deal about her last name? Even her old station does in this farewell.

Speaking of news bloopers, I hadn't heard about this one from 2006 until recently. BBC News 24 was due to interview an internet expert about the Apple Computers vs Beatles lawsuit. Instead, they ended up with Guy Goma who had shown up for a job interview. The look on his face when he's introduced is priceless. He gamely tries to answer her questions, and she is obviously not listening to his answers or can't understand his accent.

Art: Science As Art

You can download desktop images from the Materials Research Society "Science As Art" contest. The nano-explosions are freaky.

Music: Cathy Davey

From nialler9's Top Irish Albums of 2007, I listened to the sample of Cathy Davey and liked what I heard. She's got a great Cameron Diaz smile too. Be sure to watch the "Reuben" video under "Sounds like" on her MySpace with the couple doing a silly dance around Spain.

Also recommended: Adrian Crowley. Ryan Adams likes him. There's a Will Oldham cover ("West Palm Beach") on his MySpace.

Music: Liam Finn

Watch a video by Liam Finn. Hear more songs at his MySpace. Damn, he sounds like his dad. Which is a good thing.

(On this unofficial Neil Finn MySpace, you can hear father and son cover the Beatles' "Two Of Us", and Neil cover "Sexual Healing"!)

And try the Mash'dup House page, with Crowded House mash-ups, sensitively done.

Crosswords: Crosaire

I was delighted to meet an amateur crossword setter last night who agreed with me that the cryptic crossword in the Irish Times, by Crosaire, is often unfair. (O'Brien Books has a free sample.) As this site says, a cryptic clue should contain "a definition and an element of wordplay", and "the wordplay element obeys logical rules". Crosaire falls down on the logic part. Solvers must use induction more than deduction.

An example from Crossword No. 13,413, published December 20th, 2007:

At this stage the tree gets a hat. (7)

I had "_ _ E _ T _ _", and guessed "theatre", which is an anagram of "tree" and "hat". However, there is no indication of an anagram in the clue, and no logical reason the articles "the" and "a" should be excluded from the wordplay.

Then again, Crosaire is set by a 90-year-old who has been doing this for over 60 years, so I should cut him some slack.

Music: Christmas

The Dallas Observer links to My Morning Jacket's "Christmas Time Is Here Again (Bring Out The Joy!)". Note that are more Christmas songs at the Archive.org page.

The Observer also links to The Old 97's and "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas". (But "Christmas Time Is Here" is better.)

rbally has old R.E.M. Christmas fan club songs. Surviving The Golden Age has the latest R.E.M. fan club song, a cover of Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody".

If you like remixes of old songs, Analog Giant has Dean Martin remixed by Dan The Automator.

And it's not Christmas without Chris Rea (at Keep The Coffee Coming). Lovely piano.

Coverville has a great video of a college men's choir performing a Christmas medley.

Finally, the Pine Cone Punks still have their MySpace page, but no new songs since "Coal For Christmas".

Politics: Bertie Ahern

Ireland's unbeloved Taoiseach Bertie Ahern uttered another "Bertie-ism" in November when he said that deferring pay rises for himself and other ministers would "only be playing smokes and daggers", conflating "smoke and mirrors" with "cloak and dagger" (and possibly "snakes and ladders").

Meanwhile, more details come to light of the "dig-out" in the 1990s when some of his "friends" gave him "loans". Choice quotes:

• "I was asked for cash and I said I would give cash. I think the reason for that is that Bertie is an extremely proud individual and if he got cheques he was going to rip them up." (Dave McKenna)
  
• "He said something like, 'Dermot, I must fix up that few quid with you', but I told him I didn't want it." (Dermot Carew, referring to IR£16,500.)
  
• Mr (Barry) English said he knew times weren't good for Mr Ahern, and as his own brother had gone through separation and divorce, his heart went out to him.
  
• Mr (Jim) Nugent retorted that he kept cash at home and always had done so to pay various bills.
  
• Maureen Gunne, widow of auctioneer Fintan Gunne, said she kept the Taoiseach's cheque for sentimental reasons and instead sent a donation for a similar amount to the Mater Hospital in memory of her late husband.
  
• "I'm a gatherer, rather than a scatterer. I was a collector, this was a goodwill gesture to a friend. It was a few quid to a friend, I was not looking for a receipt." (Charlie Chawke)
  

Oh, to have friends like that! Completely unrelated thought: is Ireland the most corrupt country in Europe?

TV: High-Class Totty

There are two good reasons to watch "Countdown" now: the ageless Carol Vorderman has been joined by Alison Heard. Alison has replaced Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner while Susie is on maternity leave.

Be sure to read the biography section of this unofficial website.

Music: Klima

If you like female singers from Continental Europe (and who doesn't?), try Klima. I like the way she pronounces "City".

The Times lists her as one of the New Acts Of The Year.

She also works with Piano Magic and is part of the duo Ginger Ale (my fave beverage!).

TV: "WordGirl"

Recommended whether you have children or not: "WordGirl" on PBS. Smart, silly cartoon fun, in the grand tradition of "Rocky & Bullwinkle" and "The Tick". Here's a sample on YouTube. Jim Lehrer (and his button eyes) got an exclusive interview.

Was she named after the Scritti Politti song? And don't miss "The Sweetest Girl" and "Wood Beez". I had never heard his Beatles' cover, "She's A Woman" or his Stevie Wonder cover, "I Don't Know Why I Love You".

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

While Don Henley was recording the "One Of These Nights" album with the Eagles, he heard some nasty rumors that his wife was cheating on him with the entire offensive line of the University of Illinois football team. He laughed it off, until he happened to come home early one day and saw a bunch of cars parked in the driveway - with Illinois license plates.

Henley rushed up the stairs and into the bedroom. As he entered, he saw the closet door slam shut. Bare feet poked out from under the curtains. And the bed was raised up off the floor, and teetered from side to side.

His wife, out of breath, pretended to brush her hair at the dressing table. "Hi Donny," she said, "what's wrong?"

Henley exploded.

"You can't hide your Illini."

Sports: Mangin-

Mangino - head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks (and seriously fat).

Mangini- head coach of the New York Jets.

Mangina - head coach of the Seton Hall Women's Basketball team (along with other more disgusting meanings of the word).

Mangine - trainer for the University of Cincinnati Bobcats.

Manginu is still available for any would-be coaches.

Sports: Les Miles

Watch LSU coach Les Miles' press conference where he dismisses talk of him going to Michigan by stating "I'm preparing for Ar-kansas" (pronouncing the final "s").

The state of Arkansas passed a resolution in 1881 that the "s" should be silent. There was a filthy Ozark recitation on the subject.

Quite apart from his mispronunciation, I dislike Miles' style of speaking, which is reminiscent of our current President's. Why do coaches talk in this overly dramatic, overly emotional, us-against-the-world way? (OSU's Mike Gundy is still the one to beat for 2007.)

And why oh why is "Coach" treated as a title for life, a la "Maestro"? Didn't they fight a revolution in this country to get rid of titles?

Lyrics Quiz: Few Hit Wonders

Here's a lyrics quiz featuring One Hit Wonders (or not many hits, anyway) from the 1970s. The Comments section has the answers, and links to YouTube videos for each.

1. C-c-come, come inside. I've been expecting you to arrive. Your sh-sh-shoes, shake 'em off, while I go and turn the music down soft.
   
2. Sam, you've been waiting much too long. Now it looks like she's not coming home. Sam, you've been loyal, true and faithful, all this time with being alone.
   If I could get that same dedication, I'd give you everything in creation, if she doesn't come back.
   
3. If you're a stranger here, and you need some action, we have a remedy that could really catch on. Pleased to see another face at light-up time. If you're feeling dull and run down, we can really make you shine.
   
4. No, sir, I don't feel very much like talking. No, neither walking. You wanna know if I can dance. Yes, sir. Already told you in the first verse. And in the chorus. But I will give you one more chance.
   
5. Where you can hear a country song from far, and someone play the honky-tonk guitar. Where all the lights will go out one by one, the people join the sun, and the wind takes it away.
   
6. Ain't it good, ain't it right that you are with me here tonight? The music playin', our bodies swayin' in time. (In time, in time, in time.)
   
7. Sunday morning, up with the lark. I think I'll take a walk in the park. Hey hey hey, it's a beautiful day.
   
8. I gave you love. I thought that we had made it to the top. I gave you all I had to give. Why did it have to stop?
   

Music: Albums That Are Too Long

The AV Club had a recent piece on albums that would have made better EPs. I'm thinking of albums that were just one or two songs too long.

• My Morning Jacket, "It Still Moves" (even Pitchfork agrees)
  
• The Stone Roses, "Second Coming"
  
• Matthew Sweet, "Altered Beast"
  
• Spiritualized, "Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space" (should have stopped before "Cop Shoot Cop")
  
• Tindersticks, first and second albums (blasphemy, I know)
  
• Every Prince album after "Purple Rain"
  
• The Beatles, "White Album"?
  

Which albums are too short?

• Tindersticks' "Can Our Love.." 45 minutes, but only 8 tracks)
  
• Weezer, the Green album
  
• Every country album ever made
  

YouTube: Haughty Speak-Singing Females

Earworms The Size Of Texas has a YouTube video of Charlotte Gainsbourg "singing" with Air on French TV.

If you like haughty vocalists who speak-sing their songs, you probably liked "The Facts Of Life" by Black Box Recorder.

Here's BBR's Sarah Nixey solo, covering the Human League.

Sexy sisters The Pierces have perfected that bored voice, and did I mention they're sexy sisters?

And here's the original of the species, the Flying Lizards.

Another pioneer of this vocal style was Cristina - here's audio only of her version of "Is That All There Is?" ("he beat me black and blue and I loved it"). And here's her Christmas classic, "Things Fall Apart"

Music: Ukulele

Who doesn't love the sound of a ukulele? (Name comes from the Hawaiian for "jumping flea".)

YouTube has lots of videos by UK uke duo, the Re-entrants, including Cameo's "Word Up".

Here's a dude playing the "Star Wars" theme on his ukulele.

Ukulele virtuoso Jake Shimabukuro is about as far as you can get from George Formby (although George played a banjo ukulele).

The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain doing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Life On Mars" (including, appropriately, "My Way" among other tunes).

If you like Jens Lekman or Jonathan Richman, you have to visit the MySpace page of Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele. He has a free EP for download, which includes a Prince cover.

Also try Bohemia Ukulele Band, a six-piece from Hastings. They have a lot of other ukulele friends, like Sweet Soubrette, Ukulele Girls (French girls doing "Gangsta Paradise"), Perrecy (German guy doing Smiths covers in German, like "Dieser Charmante Mann").

You can learn to play online at Pineapple Pete's Uke School.

Hoax: Fecal Matter Drug?

Are kids getting high from fermented sewage? Snopes says the "Jenkem" story is "undetermined". (And jeers to Snopes, by the way, for having pop-up ads.)

I just hope I'm not busted for running a drug lab, 'cause my shit is primo.

Music: MySpace

MySpace goodies

• Tacks, The Boy Disaster - Austin, TX band with a terrible name but a great sound. Recommended if you like Midlake, the Flaming Lips. (I was going to add Ben Folds, because of the prominent piano, and then found this Guardian piece compares them to "when Ben Folds Five did a Broadway musical-style version of Flaming Lips' She Don't Use Jelly".)
  
• ohbijou - yet another Canadian band with many members. Recommended by Chromewaves. For fans of Lisa Germano, Joanna Newsom, Hayden.
  
• A Girl Called Eddy - New Jersey girl living in England. Her album came out in 2004, so I'm really behind the times. Her MySpace bio boasts kudos from Nina Persson and Eric Carmen! Not a million miles from Aimee Mann.
  
• Bobb Trimble - Massachusetts artist from the early '80s whose albums are being reissued. See Guardian article for the full story. Not sure what all the fuss is about. Sounds like Russell Mael fronting Fleetwood Mac on downers.
  
• Julia Kent - NY cellist. Recommended if you like the cello.
  

Music: Nicole Atkins again

I posted about Nicole Atkins back in June. She delivered a knockout performance on "Letterman" last night, and INDIEBLOGHEAVEN has it. She reminds me (physically) of a cross between Cat Power and Amy Winehouse. Play the "jukebox" at her website.

Here she accompanies herself on an acoustic guitar (with some fancy stockings).

She joined Peter, Bjorn & John for "Young Folks", filling in for Victoria Bergsman.

Apparently, she recorded a track with UK band Soulsavers but it didn't end up on their album. Listen to "Revival" at their MySpace, with Mark Lanegan on vocals.

I just wish I hadn't found her American Express ad.

Lyrics Quiz: Snakes

Celebrate Whacking Day belatedly (it's May 10th) by taking this quiz.

1. Jodie wears a hat, although it hasn't rained for six days. She says a girl needs a gun these days, hey, on account of all the rattlesnakes.
   
2. Wiggle like a snake, wobble like a duck.
   
3. ...Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free.
   
4. That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane.
   
5. You're looking good, just like a snake in the grass. One of these days you're gonna break your glass.
   
6. Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad, from a worn out picture that my mother had, and I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
   
7. You’re boned like a saint, with the conciousness of a snake.
   
8. The snake is long, seven miles. Ride the snake. He's old, and his skin is cold.
   
9. Yeah, I've got a tombstone hand in a graveyard mine. Just twenty-two, baby, I don't mind dying. Snakeskin shoes, baby. Put them on your feet. Got the goodtime music and the Bo Diddley beat.
   
10. Sister got bit by a copperhead snake in the woods behind the house. Nobody was home so I grabbed her foot and I sucked that poison out. Sister got better in a month or two when the swelling, it went down. But I'd started out my teenage years with that poison in my mouth.
    

TV: "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

The New Yorker reports that Larry David's HBO show is a helpful therapy tool for schizophrenic patients. Also, there's a cartoon about home schooling.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" quotes. "With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect."

Here's a clip from a Danish series "inspired" by "CYE". Their language is different from our language! LMAO!

Internet: City Of Grapevine GIS

The city of Grapevine, TX has a pretty neat Geographic Information System that allows you to see the ownership and zoning for every parcel of land in the city. And if you look at the intersection of Kimball and 114, you'll see a very clear image of a jet plane flying by. Could it be fake, added by a bored web designer? If so, they went to the trouble of adding a shadow.

YouTube: "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side"

• The Smiths (introduced by Ivor Cutler)
  
• Mimed to on "Blackpool" (remade for US TV as "Viva Laughlin")
  
• Morrissey, live in Las Vegas, 2007
  
• Cute girl with guitar
  
• Brazilian group with gamine Fernanda Takai on vocals
  
• Hong Kong band
  
• Smiths tribute band, playing an English pub in Brazil
  

Idaho: Phantom Pooper

From Defamer, someone is pooping on the streets of Idaho Falls (and finger-painting). Could it be Whoopi (tired of her remote control toilet)? Or Idaho senator Larry Craig, paranoid about using public bathrooms?

Books: Harry Potter

Eric reports that JK Rowling has "outed" Albus Dumbledore from her popular Larry Kotter books.

We should have known something was up from the anagrams of his name: Aroused Dumbbell, A Bulbous Meddler, Bad Lube Smoulder, A Sore Bum - Dull Bed.

One blogger is having trouble accepting the news, but a commenter says: "the gayness of a male character is always narratively compatible when a book is set in an English boarding school."

Gadgetopia reports on the Wikipedia "war" over Dumbledore's entry.

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

I was going to get myself a shower caddy, but then I thought, how often do I play golf in my shower?

Movies: "Finding t.A.T.u."

Idolator reports (in the wtf category) that they're making a t.A.T.u. movie. "Finding t.A.T.U. is directed by Roland Jaffe, who previously gave us "The Killing Fields" and "The Mission". It stars Mischa Barton, who, while of limited range, could surely have landed a better movie than this. Is she drawn to lesbian roles for some reason?

But who could have guessed that t.A.T.u. would extend their 15 minutes?

YouTube: Will Oldham

• Will Oldham covers Mariah Carey.
  
• Duet on "Kiss" by Scout Niblett.
  
• Johnny Cash covers "I See A Darkness" (with Will on BV).
  
• Bonnie 'Prince' Billy on Conan O'Brien.
  
• With Danish band Homesick Hank.
  
• Cameo in R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet (Ch. 15)" (at the 5:20 mark).
  
• Performing "Goodbye Dear Old Stepstone" by some old folkie.
  
• Long concert with Matt Sweeney.
  
• Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham in a Kanye West video (?)
  

Not bad for a baldy.

Iowa: Ottumwa

Mark Davis has an article in the Dallas Morning News decrying the disproportionate importance of Iowa and New Hampshire in the presidential election process. As an aside, he notes that candidates he has interviewed "are always in a rush to wrap things up so they can get on the horn with Joe Bob from the Ottumwa Courier."

Here's another negative article.

I'm so tired of all this Ottumwa bashing. Sure, it was the birthplace of Tom Arnold but they have apologized for this. Repeatedly.

Hey, Ottumwa is the "Video Game Capital Of The World" (or was in 1982).

Music: 12-Tone System

There's an article in the NY Times about Schoenberg and the 12-Tone System. The best part is the accompanying video where the writer, Anthony Tommasini, demonstrates the concepts on the piano.

The Peabody Symphony Orchestra has some Schoenberg available for free download.

Music: Glossary

A band called Glossary have made their album available as a free download. Recommended for fans of Whiskeytown. I was also going to compare them to a gentler Dinosaur Jr, but I'd be accused of pulling a Robb.

Hoax: UFO

Article from the OC Register about a Californian who flies a remote control UFO around Orange County. You can buy one for $1000.

Here is the YouTube video mentioned in the article.

A company called Silverlit makes a cheaper alternative. Here's a similar one with a camera on board.

And here's a video of a girl in bra and panties who makes a cup and saucer float. Just one in a series of videos from this lingerie-clad lovely.

Lyrics Quiz: Doors

1. If you didn't come to party, don't bother knockin' on my door.
   
2. From your front porch to my front seat. The door's open but the ride it ain't free.
   
3. I've packed my bags. Cleaned the floor. Watch me walking, walking out the door.
   
4. Then the door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew, and then disappeared.
   
5. Up the staircase to the first floor. Turn the key and slowly unlock the door, as a man breathes into his saxophone.
   
6. I caught you knockin' at my cellar door. I love you, baby, can I have some more?
   
7. All the doors I closed one time, will open up again.
   
8. And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, hey, why not ask for more?
   
9. Light the candle. Put the lock upon the door. You have sent the maid home early, like a thousand times before.
   
10. Close your eyes, close the door, you don't have to worry any more.
    

And for those beginners who prefer songs with the theme word in the title:

1. Mama, take this badge off of me. I can't use it anymore.
   
2. You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans. I eat more chicken than any man ever seen.
   
3. Don't know why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go. I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't want to know.
   
4. Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band. Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon? Doo, doo doo.
   
5. My baby makes me proud. Lord, don't she make me proud. She never makes a scene by hanging all over me in a crowd.
   

Sports: Baseball Manager Quiz

1. Which baseball manager holds the record for most ejections (set in 2007)?
   
2. In 1998, Barry Bonds became the fifth player to be given an Intentional Base On Balls with the bases loaded. Who was the opposing manager?
   
3. Who was the last player-manager in Major League Baseball?
   
4. The Texas Rangers had 4 managers in 1977, including one who lasted just one game. Can you name all four?
   
5. Match the manager to the quote:
   

   (a) Tommy Lasorda	(1) "Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa."
   (b) Leo Durocher	(2) "The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers."
   (c) Casey Stengel	(3) "I made a game effort to argue but two things were against me; the umpires and the rules."
   (d) Earl Weaver	(4) "He (Darryl Strawberry) is not a dog; a dog is loyal and runs after balls."

   
   

Bonus: Earl Weaver's profanity-laced "Manager's Corner". (Apparently, it was pre-taped and never aired.)

Music: Radiohead

So, Radiohead are releasing a new album, and you can name your own price for the digital version. Being a cheap bastard, I offered 0.00 and was accepted. (The Idolator story says the minimum is 0.01, plus a 0.45 surcharge, but commenters got the same deal I did. We'll see what happens on 10/10.)

My God, that Tom Yorke is full of crap, with his links to Anarchist websites, artsy photographs, anti-aviation campaigns, and his silly doodles. But Line Rider is a great time-waster. (Watch some of the movies first.)

Politics: Yulia Tymoshenko

Wonkette spotlights the World's Hottest PMILF, the former Prime Minister of Ukraine, Yulia Tymoshenko. She sure has a lot of photos of herself on her website. I like the one of her with "Madlen Olbrite". She's very proud that her trademark hairdo has been copied by "Kylie Minoug", "Siena Miller" and "Mary J Blidge". And I agree with her statement: "For the last months of election it was a lot of filth poured out in a country, a lot of touchy, a lot of offensive, miserable and wrong words are said."

Her daughter is married to an English rocker, lead singer for Death Valley Screamers. She "was captivated by his waist-length hair and the giant tattoo on his torso depicting an alien crawling out of his belly."

Music: Something Happens

Irish band Something Happens on YouTube:

• "Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello" live, 1989
  
• Live at the SFX, 1989 (part 1/4)
  
• "Parachute" on Irish TV, c. 1990
  
• "Veronica Mars" montage, set to "Momentary Thing", which was used on the show
  
• "Parachute" on Irish TV, 2006
  
• Tom Dunne on Podge and Rodge
  

P.S. Tribute band Tizz Lizzy on Podge & Rodge.

Photography: Jill Greenberg

Cute pictures of monkeys by Jill Greenberg, from those pinkos at the New Republic. I guess they're manipulated photos. And she makes children cry.

Religion: Hinduism

Is there any phrase more delightful than "army of monkeys"? Hindus are protesting a shipping canal in India because it will destroy a "a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys".

Football: Pool

If you'd like to take part in an NFL pick 'em pool, head over to Enterpool. You can join a public league, or start your own. Completely free.