Movies: Academy Awards 2009

Stray thoughts while watching the Oscars.

• I loved the Tina Fey/Steve Martin bit, because I love anything that sticks it to Scientology. Scientologists are idiots!
  
• Jeers to ABC for showing Brad & Angelina while Jennifer Aniston was doing her schtick.
  
• Did the audience laugh when the Art Direction guy said David Fincher was a wonderful human being?
  
• That "Duchess" costume guy seemed a bit of a jerk - "We had great music by Rachel Portman but that's not it."
  
• The Ben Stiller bit had great potential but went nowhere.
  
• Even Baz Luhrman looked embarrassed by that dumb musical clusterfudge.
  
• Joel Grey is tiny! I'd like to see the "Man On Wire" guy balance him on his chin.
  
• Danny Boyle = Morrissey
  
• Oscar song mash-up!
  
• Kate Winslet is a big old fake. She is demeaning Hollywood with her fakeness.
  
• Did Sean Penn say we elected the Elephant Man president? Just when you have him pegged as a bleeding arse liberal, he goes and insults Barack Obama.
  
• Why do we have to see clips from former winners to appreciate this year's nominees, Stephen bloody Spielberg? It's all this montage crap that causes the show to run so bloody long.
  

Sports: NFL Coach Facial Expressions

Sure, Bill Cowher's scowl was disturbing, the way the down-turned corners of his mouth appeared to go all the way to the edge of his face, like a pissed off Beaker.

And Tampa Bay's Jon Gruden has a really scary angry face.

But the one that gives me the willies is Saints coach Sean Payton when he sucks in his cheeks and purses his lips. (Yeah, he does look like Kenny Chesney. And I guess the look might be stolen from Zoolander.)

Sports: Euro 2008

A Euro 2008 round-up.

• I had blamed ESPN for the useless statistics flashed on-screen, but now that I'm back in Ireland, I realise they are part of the official TV feed. A typical example showed that one team led the other 4-3 in being caught Offside. And what's up with showing how many kilometers a player has covered during the game? And how do they measure it?
  
• At least I have escaped Tommy Smyth. Choice Tommy quote: "It's amazing the way the game can change with the flick of an eye."
  
• Now I can hear proper football commentary - a rollcall of players' names as they pass the ball around. Just the way God meant it to be.
  
• All the commentators were very careful how they pronounced the name of Russian midfielder Zhirkov. Hard to hear it without thinking of the joke about the manager who told the player he'd pull him off at half time. Too bad Zhirkov didn't get to play in Bern's Wankdorf Stadium.
  
• I do think it's highly insensitive of ESPN to call their Spanish-language channel ESPN Deportees. The vast majority of Latinos in the US are there legally.
  
• Match the players with their country.
  

  Petit		Germany
  Roger Guerreiro		Sweden
  Lukas Podolski		Poland
  Zlatan Ibrahimović		Portugal

  
  
• Lookalike: Italian coach (already fired) Roberto Donadoni and Flaming Lips leader Wayne Coyne.
  
• I was going to post another lookalike of Franck Ribery and the face-melting Nazi from Indiana Jones, but apparently Ribery was in a bad car accident when he was a kid. As a result, he can only grow a sideburn on one side of his head.
  
• Football is being ruined by one thing: shirt-pulling. There should be an immediate red card for anyone caught tugging another player's shirt. Video replays should be used to enforce the rule. The only alternative is that all players must wear oven mitts.
  
• None of the kits blew me away. I liked the retro look of the German kit. And the numbers on the Dutch shirts crack me up - they look like someone made them from strips of electrical tape. The English Premier League has a standard set of numbers that everyone must use. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was delighted by Germany's typeface in Euro 1996. (But he doesn't like the Dutch "toilet paper numbers.)
  
• Best ESPN quote was from Adrian Healey when the Netherlands added a fourth goal against France: "It's a Dutch Oven, and the French are toast."
  

Lookalikes: John Turturro as Billy Martin

In the new ESPN mini-series, "The Bronx Is Burning", John Turturro is fitted with prosthetic ears to play Billy Martin. Is it just me, or does he look like the Late Night character, Preparation H Raymond?

Doesn't look much like Billy Martin, from what I can see.