TV: FiOS Guide

The weirdest thing about Verizon's FiOS TV service is the descriptions of the late night talk shows in their on-screen guide. "Affable comic Jimmy Kimmel interviews a varied lineup of guests." Affable? "Cunning late night talk show host Conan O'Brien interviews leading entertainers and provides national exposure to alternative music acts." Cunning? Carson Daly is described as "the young, hip and eccentric MTV personality". Hip and eccentric? And guess who is "the edgy Emmy-winning comedian" who "builds on his predecessors' successes"? Jay Leno? And finally, "using his own zany brand of comedy, talk show host David Letterman interviews popular celebrities and entertains late-night viewers."

Whoever writes these is either really bored or really stoned. Or both.