TV: Babes

• NBC's Weather Plus has a very cute meteorologist in Britta Merwin. Look, she's a model too! When I saw her today on TV, she looked more like the photo in the top right, where Chinzilla is grabbing her ass. She even has a blog where she openly admits that Spring is her favorite season. I didn't think weather people were allowed to have a favorite season - isn't that a conflict of interest?
  
• There are a million house "flipping" shows on TV, but only A&E's "Sell This House" has the captivating Tanya Memme (rhymes with "lemme"). Apparently, she was Miss World Canada in 1993.
  

YouTube: The Reed Sisters

Thanks to 1963muster for posting these videos of The Reed Sisters on some long ago cable access show. Start with "Celebration" to see their creepy stage mother and the synchronised dance steps. Then watch "From Me To You" and try to figure out the sibling dynamic between the blonde one and the non-instrumentalist one.

Sadly, I can't find anything about these Reed Sisters on the 'net. Let's hope they get the band back together again.

Music: Covers On YouTube

• "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Greg Laswell (and visuals from "The OC").
  
• "Wish You Were Here" by Rodgrigo y Gabriela (and audience singalong). (There are a lot of "Wish You Were Here" covers out there.)
  
• "Sin City" by the Decemberists with Gillian Welch and David Rawlings (live in Nashville).
  
• "Ruby" by a 7-year-old Ricky Skaggs with Flatt and Scruggs (I was actually looking for his bluegrass cover of "Superfreak").
  
• "Make It With You" by My Morning Jacket (with a rambling prologue about bread).
  
• "Modern Love" by The Last Town Chorus.
  
• "Let's Dance" by M. Ward (cheekily set to the original video, slowed down).
  
• "Positively 4th Street" by Bryan Ferry (let's ignore the overblown Nazi controversy).
  
• "All Along The Watchtower" by XTC.
  
• "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Scala and Kolacny Brothers (piano and Belgian girls' choir).
  

And if you have the time, there's a Go-Betweens tribute concert/documentary (in 6 parts) with Australian artists covering the late lamented band.

Politics: Hillary Clinton

Wonkette reports that Hillary Clinton is asking the public to choose her campaign song. There are 9 songs listed, but write-in votes are allowed. Wonkette and its commenters have plenty of suggestions: "Bitch" by the Rolling Stones, "The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John, "Smack My Bitch Up" by the Prodigy (am I sensing a theme here?).

I voted for "Is This What You Call Change?" by Robert Forster ("As I breathe your deadly wind, as the oil in the river sends everything that's alive to a painful end").

Lyrics Quiz: Fools

Part A: "Fool" in the title.

1. When I come home, baby, and I've been working all night long, I put my daughter on my knee, and she say, "Daddy what's wrong?"
   
2. Well on his way, his head in a cloud, the man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud. But nobody ever hears him.
   
3. And the parting on the left are now parting on the right. And the beards have all grown longer overnight.
   
4. As he rises to her apology, anybody else would surely know, he's watching her go.
   
5. The pack on my back is aching. The straps seem to cut me like a knife. I'm no clown, I won't back down. I don't need you to tell me what's going down.
   
6. Unhand that gun, be gone. There's no one to fire upon. If he's holding it high, he's telling a lie.
   
7. A dying flame, you're free again. Who could love and do that to you? All dressed in black, he won't be coming back. Save your tears, you've got years and years.
   

Part B: "Fool" in the lyrics.

1. 'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, when they all should let us be.
   
2. He said, "Girl u better have fun no matter what u do." But he's a fool.
   
3. Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
   
4. Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me. When you hold me in your arms, you love me 'til I just can't see.
   
5. I find it very, very easy to be true. I find myself alone when each day is through. Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you.
   
6. I am the maker of rules, dealing with fools.
   
7. And if you ever have to go to school, remember how they messed up this old fool. Don't pick fights with the bullies or the cads, 'cause I'm not much cop at punching Other people's dads.
   

Music: Uncle Tupelo

YouTube has an old cable access performance by Uncle Tupelo from 1989 (doing "Graveyard Shift" and "Factory Belt"). And here's "Gun" live in 1992.

And here's a nice homemade cartoon for Wilco's "Hummingbird". Wilco's new album "drops" tomorrow, and they're on "Letterman" tomorrow night. (Thanks to Robb for the heads up.)

Words: Chillax

For those who didn't believe me that "chillax" is a popular slang contraction ("chill" and "relax") in the British Isles, here's an Amazon list.

Lyrics Quiz: Fruit

Inspired by Robb and his irrational hatred of #1. Personally, I think there should be more spelling in songs.

1. Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
   
2. God didn't make little green apples, and it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime.
   
3. Now when you pick a pawpaw, or a prickly pear, and you prick a raw paw - next time beware.
   
4. I'm praying for a rain in California, so the grapes can grow and they can make more wine. And I'm sitting in a honky in Chicago, with a broken heart and a woman on my mind.
   
5. And she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from China.
   

Internet: Posting Dangers

The AV Club's Hater has posted an Ad Council PSA about the dangers of posting information online. Creepy!

Emails: Factually Incorrect

I got an email this week that read:

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified flying object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well- known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Condoleezza Rice and Dan Quayle were all born.

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep. This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

It would have been nice if even one of the people listed had been born in 1948, but no.

• George W. Bush, born July 6, 1946
  
• Dick Cheney, born January 30, 1941
  
• Donald Rumsfeld, born July 9, 1932
  
• Bill O'Reilly, born September 10, 1949
  
• Rush Limbaugh, born January 12, 1951
  
• Condoleezza Rice, born November 14, 1954
  
• Dan Quayle, born February 4, 1947
  

Here are some people who were born in March 1948: reggae artist Burning Spear, Irish guitar hero Rory Gallagher, Welsh rock 'n' roller Shakin' Stevens, crime novelist James Ellroy, junkie/folkie James Taylor, CNN's Wolf Blitzer, ugly musical composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, petite actress Rhea Perlman, normal-sized actress Dianne Wiest. The only politician I see born then: Al Gore.

Paper Products: Toilet Paper

Shell sent me a link to this story about the Hutchinson (Kansas) Correctional Facility limiting inmates to four rolls of toilet paper per month. This measure is expected to save nearly $600 a month. And it'll make Sheryl "one square per visit" Crow happy.

Cryptic: 10x5

A new crossword. I should really just email it directly to Eric.

1			2			3			4
5
6

Across

1. Dostoevsky and Tolstoy novels begun but not finished - what a struggle! (7,3)
5. Working class male prostitute = "Rear Thug"? Do badly. (5,5)
6. People who descend on Santa's knee? (10)

Down

1. Lyric about a boy. (5)
2. A bump on the slopes for Carnegie or Murdoch. (5)
3. Ron backed commercial US/Canadian missile defense system. (5)
4. Carrier, he assumes, contains birds. (5)

Video: Alec Baldwin

Dora The Explorer gets a call from Alec Baldwin.

Celebrities: Shilpa Shetty

What is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty?

1. Being named "Shilpa Shetty", which is an anagram of "Shitty as help".
   
2. Starring in a film called "Aakrosh: Cyclone of Anger".
   
3. Being abused and bullied on "Celebrity Big Brother".
   
4. Actually winning "Celebrity Big Brother".
   
5. Being groped by a giddy (possibly drunk) Richard Gere while promoting Safe Sex.
   

Definitely #5, although her official website asks, in headline format, "What is all the big fuss about? Seriously?" Anyway, I offer up this Clerihew:

Richard Gere
Is desperate to prove he's not queer.
Shilpa Shetty
Just wishes he wasn't so sweaty.

History: First Laundromat

I heard on the radio that the first ever laundromat opened on this day in 1934 in Fort Worth. But US Census Bureau page says it might have been Fort Wayne. That seems a big vague for a Census Bureau. Wikipedia supports Fort Worth's claim

Movies: "Star Wars"

Death Star conspiracy theory.

Nitpicking: "Literally"

News story about Aaron Glenn's murdered niece quotes Lt. John Denholm of the Harris County Sheriff's Office.

“We are exploring whether it's even possible to search for her remains at this point,” Denholm said. “It's the literal needle in the haystack.”

Poor old "literal". Is there any word more abused? Here's another example:

I can only thank my angels and God for leading me to what was literally a needle in a haystack.

Actually, it was a key in a storage room - and this woman is a professional writer!

And while I'm nitpicking, I watched "Inside Man" last week with the commentary track by Spike Lee. What an unpleasant man he is. So I was delighted to hear him describe a 180° camera move as, you guessed it, a 360° move. What a maroon!

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

The inventor of television was also the first man to plop down on a sofa in front of the TV with a beer in one hand, and his other hand pushed down the front of his pants. When his wife asked him what he was doing, he answered, "I'm feeling a little Logie."

Music: Commonalities

Here's a headscratcher from Eric (who successfully solved Thursday's Cryptogram, by the way).

What do these bands have in common?

• Aerosmith
  
• Elton John
  
• Earth, Wind, & Fire
  
• Joe Cocker
  
• Cheap Trick
  

Conversely, what do these bands have in common?

• Chuck Berry
  
• Carl Perkins
  
• The Marvelettes
  
• The Isley Brothers
  

Lyrics Quiz: Irish Artists

For the day that's in it, to be sure, to be sure. All songs are written by Irish people (or, at least, qualified to play football for Ireland - the "Granny Rule").

1. Now we go steady to the pictures. I always get chocolate stains on my pants. My father, he's going crazy. Says I'm living in a trance.
   
2. From Bissau to Palau in the shade of Avalon. From Fiji to Tiree and the isles of Ebony.
   
3. I was on the inside when they pulled the four walls down. I was looking through the window. I was lost, I am found.
   
4. Forty shades of green. yeah. Sixty shades of red. Heroes going cheap these days. Price: a bullet in the head.
   
5. Sir thwacks you on the knees, knees you in the groin, elbow in the face. Bruises bigger than dinner plates.
   
6. And when that foghorn blows, I will be coming home. And when that foghorn blows, I want to hear it. I don't have to fear it.
   
7. And I swore, I swore I would be true. And, honey, so did you. So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
   
8. And there's a black cat lying in the shadow of the gatepost. And the black cat tells me that love is on its way.
   
9. 'Cause the winds might change, and the winds might blow over you. And the winds might cut you in two, unless perhaps you get a raincoat.
   
10. When you pissed yourself in Frankfurt, and got syph down in Cologne, and you heard the rattling death trains as you lay there all alone.