BBC News story about the guy who wrote the theme tune for "The Addams Family".

Music: MP3 Blogs

(Thanks to Robb...) Our President singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and "Dick Is A Killer"

And if you like the Velvet Underground and Christina Aguilera but always wished you could listen to both at the same time, try this mash-up from Go Home Productions.

Dan Rather satire. My theory is that Karl Rove forged the memos, knowing that the argument about their authenticity would distract attention away from the real story of GWB's National Guard service. (I'm not the only one.) More about Rove.

Music: Ernie Ball

On his new album "Age Of Miracles", the credits say, "Chuck Prophet breaks Ernie Ball strings on a Fender Squire guitar." As it happens, Ernie Ball just passed away last week. (P.S. Chuck loves the new Loretta Lynn CD.)

Politics: Spreadsheet v Paragraph

According to David Brooks, "there are two sorts of people...spreadsheet people and paragraph people". Spreadsheet people, he says, are more likely to be Republican and to back Bush. Paragraph people are more likely to lean Democratic and support Kerry. Well, I think Bush loses the word-lovers as soon as he opens his mouth. And the number-crunchers can't be too happy with theU.S Budget deficit.

Art: Oil Paint Colours

The best thing about oil painting is the names of the colours. Alizarin Crimson ("An orange-red crystalline compound, C₁₄H₆O₂(OH)₂, used in making dyes"), Burnt Umber ("French (terre d') ombre or Italian (terra di) ombra, shadow (earth), both possibly from alteration (influenced by French ombre and Italian ombra, shadow) of Latin Umbria, a region of ancient Italy"), Cadmium Orange ("Cadmos was a Phoenician prince who killed a dragon and sowed its teeth, from which sprang up an army of men who fought one another until only five survived. With these five men Cadmus founded the city of Thebes"), and Naples Yellow ("Since the use of lead-based pigments has been practically prohibited, industrial production of Naples yellow has been terminated for all hues but the reddish. As a substitute, we are offering a chemically modified bismuth yellow, which we call Bristol yellow").

Quotations: Insensitive

News story from earlier this month about someone's cremated remains crashing through a woman's roof. Her last comment seems a mite insensitive.

Internet: French Opinion Polls

Now we know why the French invented the phrase "Je ne sais quoi" (not to be confused with the Swedish band Je Ne Sais Quoi). The opinion polls at Le Monde regularly have 'No Opinion' votes of 6% or higher. Today's question currently has "Sans Opinion" at 9.9%. Let me know if you see an English-speaking poll where that many "Don't Knows" bothered to click on a link.

Brush up on your Shakespeare.

Nancy Sinatra and friends. See Nancy with Morrissey, Billy Idol, Roseanne, Patti Smith, Liza Minelli - and is that Grizzly Adams? There's also a Playboy picture. She has a new album due September 28th.

Cryptic Football Players: Answers

Answers to the football player quiz:

1. Priest Holmes
   
2. Tiki Barber
   
3. Junior Seau
   
4. Randy Moss
   
5. Joe Horn
   
6. Hines Ward
   
7. Shannon Sharpe
   
8. Bubba Franks
   

Cryptic Football Players

In time for Football season, can you decipher these cryptic players?

1. Habitats for the clergy.
   
2. Polynesian figurine who cuts hair.
   
3. How you tell your son to make the sound associated with a boo-boo.
   
4. Plant that grows on rocks, with high libido.
   
5. Erection from drinking coffee.
   
6. Section of hospital for Kerry's wife.
   
7. Irish river that could cut you.
   
8. Southern hotdogs.
   

Excellent piece at Slate demolishing the lies in Zell Miller and Dick Cheney's speeches last night. (By the way, why does Miller want a "War on Terra" ?)

If Jim Lehrer should ever lose an eye (God forbid), he can just replace it with a shiny black button.

Politics: RNC Podium

Check out the podium at the Republican National Convention. (This is the best photo I could find. ) My first reaction was, "Well, they're trying something different. Using wood, all natural, got to like that. But it looks like someone just grabbed some leftover lumber and slapped it together." Then I noticed the subliminal crosses. Most obvious in the section on the left. I wonder how non-Christian Republicans feel about that...?

Nutjobs

More about the priest who attacked the Brazilian runner. (Apparently, he is not "defrocked" but he is currently facing charges of gross indecency with a child. What do you have to do to be defrocked these days?)

The article ends by stating:

Central to his beliefs is that Jesus Christ will return as an Israeli army officer who will lead the chosen through Armageddon and they will live for a 1,000 years on this Earth.

Politics: Henry Bonilla

As reported by the Dallas Morning News, Rep. Henry Bonilla describes the New York experience ahead of the Republican Convention. Be sure to read his favourite New York memory.

To all my Brazilian friends, so sorry about my Uncle Cornelius. (When I went to the ABC News page, it had an ad for their "Person Of The Week". He's a fine, devout man, but surely not?)

Gossipy article about the Bush twins. Their Secret Service nicknames are Twinkle and Turquoise.

Advertising: Midas

Nominee for "Creepiest Guy On TV": the polygraph operator in those Midas commercials. At the end of each commercial, he turns to the camera and sings their jingle. You could imagine checking on your kids at night and finding him sitting beside their bed, singing softly.

Genuine Quentin Tarantino blog or not?

Words: Neologisms

Some neologisms (original, I hope):

• Nespot - A dictator who inherited his position (for example, Baby Doc Duvalier).
  
• Matrimoney - A dowry; fee paid to a mail-order bride.
  
• Gnomad - A very small wanderer.
  
• Perpspiration - The sweat of a guilty criminal in a police line-up.
  
• Sellabit - Abstaining from sex, except when prostituting oneself.
  
• Hummerrhoids - Extremely painful lumps in the rectum that are wished upon the owners of large SUVs.
  
• Parisite - Freeloader who attaches himself or herself to a wealthy hotel heiress.
  
• Hilton Head - Sexual favour received from a wealthy hotel heiress.
  

Okay, it looks like I was beaten to Parisite. And Hilton Head. And Gnomad. And maybe Sellabit.

TV: "Wacky Races"

Eagerly anticipated DVD: "Wacky Races - The Complete Series". Here's an artistic rendition of Penelope Pitstop and her Compact Pussycat. You can buy a limited edition cel from the Cartoon Network that shows Penelope and 'The Hooded Claw' engaging in some light bondage. Just $1025.00. (The Hooded Claw is mentioned in Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "The Power Of Love".)

Slate explains why Puerto Rico fields its own team at the Olympics.

Words: Wordcount

WORDCOUNT - interactive display of the most common words in the English language (that's English English - not American English). Which is more common - "mucous" or "phlegm"? (Mucous wins, 28384 to 37936.) "Karate" or "Judo" ? (Karate, 15172 to 24663.) What is that word after "Apt" and "Gandhi" ? Find fun accidental phrases like "Inevitably, loose employee falls" (3110 through 3113), or "Bush, admit specifically agents smell" (2629-2633). And then, there's always the dirty words to look up. Hmm, are "Cock" (10870) and "Penis" (10871) really used the same number of times? I'm beginning to wonder about the trustworthiness of their counts - "Donegal" (16313) used slightly less than "Vagina"(16307) and "Condoms" (16309) ? It's a lovely county, and a nice tweed, but really? This may all be some arty put-on.

The Simpsons: Milhouse In Lego

Milhouse in Lego. And which Simpsons character will turn out to be gay next season? (Groundskeeper Willie would be my guess too.) Here's a random image.

Cryptic Crossword: No Grid

More cryptic crossword clues, but without the tedious crossword part.

1. Syrup used to flavour drinks is endearing mixture (9)
   
2. Stand-in for two chromosomes (5)
   
3. Disease found during colonic: hole rash (7)
   
4. Group of college girls sorry about ring - it got swallowed! (8)
   
5. Abuse rum, rinse Able-Bodied seaman (10)
   
6. Determined poodle, for example, gets educational certificate (6)
   

(#4 was corrected after Eric spotted my mistake.)

Please - no more Japanese movie titles ending in "u". "Ringu", "Gozu", "Kikoku" - it's been done. Get over it.

Movies: The Last -

Another movie title formula that has grown stale: "The Last (something)". IMDB lists "The Last Samurai", "The Last Emperor", "The Last Picture Show", "The Last Castle", "The Last Boy Scout", "The Last Seduction", "The Last Detail", "The Last Starfighter", "The Last Waltz", "The Last Cigarette", "The Last Cowboy", "The Last Marshal", "The Last Customer", "The Last Ride", "The Last Valley", "The Last Producer", "The Last Bomb", "The Last Bullet", "The Last Song", "The Last Movie", and the forthcoming "The Last Shot". (This one is based on a true story, which was included in an episode of 'This American Life'. Listen here.)

A list from McSweeneys.

Food: Eating On Subway; Rocky Road

Firstly, kudos to Eric for being the only person to solve all cryptograms so far, except for the last one. But I'm sure the solution to that will be coming very soon - now that I've given Eric the credit he so richly demands.

Robb, meanwhile, pointed me to this story about a poster urging Londoners not to eat smelly food on the Underground. In Robb's words, "Life must be good in England if smelly food is all they have to worry about."

And in D.C. too, where a woman was arrested for eating a Payday bar.

After 16 years in the USA, I've finally discovered the Rocky Road bar, but I'm making up for lost time. I see it's also available in Dark Chocolate and Mint.

Symbols: Play, Pause, Stop etc.

Who designed those familiar icons for "Play", "Pause", "Stop", "Fast Forward" and "Reverse"? Do they pre-date the cassette tape?

Useful Glossary of Irish slang - here's the entry for 'G'. (I was looking up "GUBU".)

From The Guardian: Iraqi TV has a home makeover show.

Language: Latin

Who says Latin is a dead language? Why not bring it back as a trans-European language ?

Movies: "-ing" Titles

Eric adds another "-ing"/Name movie title: "Raising Arizona".

Celebrities: Stephen Bing

Interesting story on ABC News about Stephen Bing. It's bad enough that he shagged Liz Hurley. Then he behaved like a cad when he got her preggers. He has given $16 million of his own money to Democratic Party candidates - fair enough, I suppose. Now it turns out that his "business partner" is a former Mob hitman. The article says Bing "declined to answer questions". I saw this on TV yesterday and Bing actually just stood staring blank-faced when confronted by the reporter - not even a "No comment". Creepy.

Here are his credits on IMDB, including "Kangaroo Jack" and "Married..With Children".

Cryptogram: Fashion

The always popular Cryptogram:

LRSHD HANES OSDLANES XHLDO VR

IVBSABKVKO CHLD, GX "SANESX CEASHX"

KBPHDCHLD LDH BHASEHD SANES BVD CEASH.

A CVKZP IELBNH SEHG AR A IVKZP.

Advertising: Sara Lee

OK, Sara Lee introduced their slogan in 1968 so this is a wee bit late to complain, but really: "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee" ? I suppose Little Debbie was already using "It doesn't make anybody puke their ring up."
But here's a surprising result from a British ad agency where an even worse slogan, "Nobody needs Sara Lee", tested better than a positive slogan.

Politics: "Deep Throat"

Is Watergate's "Deep Throat" dead?

2023 Update: Nope, it was Mark Felt.

Movies: "-ing" Titles

There's a coming attraction called "Being Julia". Please, no more films with a title formed by a verb ending in "-ing" and a person's name. We've already had "Being John Malkovich", "Eating Raoul", "Driving Miss Daisy", "Saving Private Ryan", "Saving Silverman", "Serving Sara", "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" (originally "Killing Mrs. Tingle"), "Killing Zoe", "Drowning Mona", "Finding Forrester", "Finding Nemo", "Chasing Amy" and "Chasing Papi".

Peeves: Politicians Pointing & Waving

Annoying tradition at Political Conventions: when the candidate and his wife (or VP), in the midst of a standing ovation, pretend to point out somebody in the crowd and wave at this phantom person.
The first candidate I saw doing this was Bill Clinton, but here's a photo of George Bush pointing someone out to the late lamented Ronald Reagan.
Bob Dole would have pointed if it wasn't for his gimpy hand.
Here, Ted Kennedy tells his niece that Balwant Singh is in the house.
Laura Bush demonstrates the move flawlessly.
The Bush Twins spot a beer vendor who isn't checking IDs.


If you would like to have your own balloon and confetti celebration with your spouse, while waving and pointing at your neighbours, order here.
(By the way, here's the best 404 File Not Found page I've ever seen.)

Celebrities: Charlize Theron

Dodging a bullet: Charlize Theron auditioned for "Showgirls".

Words: Sledging

Sledging. (I'd never heard the term before.)

Quotations

Infamous quotes:

• "Lighten up, Sandy baby." (Thanks to Shell.)
  
• "Welcome to Bangkok." (Denial.)
  
• "Yeah, big time."
  
• "Shove it."
  

Movies: MGM Lion

Did you know that the original MGM lion lived at Dublin Zoo ?

Cryptic Crossword: No Grid

Cryptic crossword clues:

1. Entrance chamber, very badly-built in this direction. (9)
   
2. No room at the poker table ? (4, 5)
   
3. These men remain partially fluid. (5)
   
4. In school band, I am on drums. Rock! (7)
   
5. Gents leery on mixture - it's people! (7,5)
   

Bonus clue from Eric: Daniel wrecked SUV. (6)

Here's a guide to solving this kind of clue.

Brand & Band Names Combined

Final Brand/Band name from Robert L:

Derek And The Domino's Pizza

This contest is now closed.

Brand & Band Names Combined

Proudly announcing the birth of my Sextuplet:

S Club 7 Up With PeopleSoft Cell C

Breaking that down:

• Pop band S Club 7
  
• Refreshing beverage 7 Up
  
• Freaky cult-like touring singers Up With People
  
• Software company PeopleSoft
  
• Pervy synth duo Soft Cell
  
• South African telephone company Cell C
  

Baseball: Dominican Republic

I've wondered lately why the Dominican Republic has produced so many baseball players (Alfonso Soriano, Miguel Tejada, Pedro Martinez, Albert Pujols, David Ortiz, Raul Mondesi, Sammy Sosa, Julio Franco) but I can't think of any from Haiti, even though they share the island of Hispaniola. (According to this article, about one in seven current Major League players were born in the D.R.) The beginning of this book review offers a clue. And here's an article about the Dominican dictator who brought in players from the Negro Leagues, including Satchel Paige. (Be sure to read Satchel's "Rules For Staying Young".)

Brand & Band Names Combined

Much controversy about Robb's quadruple entry. Shell tried to disallow it, since the brand name (Rockport) was entirely contained in the band names (Kid Rock and Portishead). A compromise was reached: when the overlap uses just part of one word, the rest of the word must be used in another overlapping name. Therefore, Robb's record stands.

I thought I had a quintuple entry with "Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers Mark Almond Joy Division", but on further review, the Soft Cell singer spells his name "Marc". He would, wouldn't he?

Meanwhile, Packwood enters the fray with:

• Iggy Pop Tarts
  
• Hapag Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
  
• Mr. Mister Clean
  
• 38 Special K
  

Combos: Product & Musical Act

More band-product names. Robb is miffed that I left out Midnight Oil of Olay. He then came up with a quadruple combo:
Kid Rock Portishead and Shoulders

Combos: Product & Musical Act

New game from Shell. Combine the names of a well-known product and a musical group/artist. Shell, Robb and I have come up with:

• No More Tears For Fears
  
• Fatboy Slimjim
  
• Fun Boy Three Musketeers
  
• Simply Red Bull
  
• Selsun Blue Oyster Cult
  
• G.I. Joe Jackson
  
• Formula 409 Inch Nails (controversial)
  
• Dinosaur Junior Mints
  
• Great White Out
  
• Modest Mouse Trap
  
• Old Spice Girls
  
• The Sweet Tarts
  

And Robb is very proud of his "triple play": Clairol Nice 'n Easy E-Loan.

Sports: Appropriate Names

More apt sports names. Robb reminds me I forgot the name that gave him the idea: Jeff Bagwell. And let me add Johnny Bench to the list.

Eric expands the idea to other sports. Tim Duncan for basketball. Tiger Woods for golf. (I'll add Stewart Cink, as in "sink this putt").

Movies: Turkey Quotes

How to guarantee risible movie dialogue with just one word.

Exhibit A: Gigli:


RICKI (Lopez): It's time to baste the turkey

GIGLI (Affleck): Huh?

RICKI: You heard me.

GIGLI: Gobble Gobble.

RICKI: Gobble Gobble.

Exhibit B: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me:


LAURA: James, you don't know what you are talking about. Quit trying to hold on so tight. I'm gone ... long gone like a turkey through the corn.

JAMES: You're not a turkey. A turkey is one of the dumbest birds on earth.

LAURA: Gobble, gobble, gobble.

Sports: Appropriate Names

Robb suggests a topic: baseball players whose names refer to the sport. (He should really have his own Blog.) We came up with Cecil Fielder, Todd Walker, Chan Ho Park, Billy Bean, Art Fowler, and (blame Robb for this one) Joaquin Benoit. (Walk-een, get it?) Any others?

Cryptogram: Current Events

A topical Cryptogram:

ENSDNWIDF LV OLCNHIGA ENSBDTWF

RIDGE LV TCCTGNGW WNDDLDTEW

IWWISXE, IHWOLBZO ON ALNEG'W

XGLR RONDN LD RONG. "VLZ LV

RID" TGANNA !

The Simpsons: Cornwall

Lisa Simpson to call for Cornish independence.

Military: German Helmets

Everything you ever wanted to know about German Helmets of WWII. I was actually searching for information about the earlier German helmets - why did they have a spike? (Robb's question.) Apparently, these are called Pickelhaube Helmets. The spike is purely ornamental.

Music: The Fighting Cocks

The Fighting Cocks - a band with a rude slogan. "Love Somebody, Yes I Do" is worth a listen.

Comic Strips: "The Duplex"

I'm upset that the Dallas Morning News has dropped my favourite strip, "The Duplex", after their reader survey. I was going to ask you to vote for a reprieve but now I find that "The Duplex" is online. (Thanks to Jill for the suggestion.)

Alliteration: Tennis Players

Great male tennis players. Great female tennis players. Note how many have alliterative names: Arthur Ashe, Andre Agassi, Boris Becker, Bill Bowrey, Dorothea Douglass, Henner Henkel, Kim Clijsters, Magdalena and Manuela Maleeva, Margaret Molesworth, Stan Smith, Ted Tilden, Tony Trabert

Politics: Moonies

That "Peace Awards Banquet" held in the U.S. Senate Building in March was pretty bizarre. Attended by "multi-faith religious leaders" and a dozen Congressmen, the event honoured the Rev. Sun Myung Moon with a "Crown Of Peace". Some Utahns distance themselves from the event, where Moon "told the dinner audience that in the spirit world, Marx, Lenin, Hitler and Stalin found strength in his teachings and have been reborn." Here's the blogger, John Gorenfeld who first exposed the event. He questions the credentials and motives of those "religious leaders". But what's truly bizarre is that Moon owns the Washington Post. I had forgotten that.

TV: "Joe Schmo 2"

I like that Ingrid Weiss on "Joe Schmo 2", but they made a big mistake in picking her as the female dupe. (She has a bachelor's in Political Science from University of Washington and a master's in International Relations from Syracuse University.) She has quickly picked up on the ridiculousness of the show, with its "Pearl Necklace" eviction ceremony and a challenge involving eating from the contestants' "boxes" and "sacks". Plus they brought back the same actor to play the Host. I hope they put her out of her misery soon - or bring her in as part of the joke.

TV: "Crossballs"

MSNBC reviews "Crossballs" - a show that debuts on Comedy Central on July 6th. I had an idea for a show like this about 15 years ago but no one listened to me. The fools. (The official site.)

Alliteration: Texas Rangers

Irish Web site for Bus Enthusiasts. Be sure to check out the latest news from Dromoland Castle and the Dublin Bus Fleet Pie Chart. (Thanks to Jim for the link.) What sad, sad people with their meaningless obsessions.

Anyway, here are alliterative Texas Rangers players and coaches:
Alvin Airoso (minor leagues only), Buddy Bell, Cris Carpenter, Danny Darwin, EE, Frank Francisco, Gary Gray, HH, II, Jonathon Johnson, Kevin Kennedy, LL, Mark McLemore, Nelson Norman, Omar Ortiz (minors), Pat Putnam, QQ, Rick Reed, Scott Sheldon, TT, Ugueth Urbina, VV, Wilbur Washington (minors), XX, YY, ZZ.

Alliteration: Football Players

Alliterative football (soccer) players (with links). Some missing letters.

Arthur Albiston, Billy Bremner, Carlo Cudicini, Damian Duff, Erik Edman, Frank Farina, Gabri Garcia, HH, II, Joe Jordan, Kevin Keegan, Larry Lloyd, Mick Mills, NN, OO, Predrag Pazin, QQ, Roberto Rivelino, Steve Staunton, Tony Taylor, UU, VV, Wille Wallace, XX, YY, Zinedine Zidane.

Alliteration: TV Actors

Alliterative TV actors: Alan Alda, Bruce Boxleitner, Chuck Connors, Dustin Diamond, Erik Estrada, Fyvush Finkel, Grant Goodeve, Harry Hamlin, II, Joshua Jackson, Ken Kercheval, Lorenzo Lamas, Martin Mull, Nick Nolte*, OO, Paul Petersen, QQ, Robert Reed, Scott Speedman, Tom Tully, UU, VV, Wil Wheaton, XX, YY, ZZ.

*Nick Nolte was in the mini-series "Rich Man, Poor Man".

Alliterative TV actresses: AA, Barbara Bain, Charisma Carpenter, Dana Delaney, Erika Eleniak, Faith Ford, GG, Helen Hunt, II, Janet Jackson, Kitty Kelly, Lucy Lawless, Megan Mullaly, Nanette Newman, OO, Pat Priest, QQ, RR, Suzanne Somers, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, UU, Vivian Vance, WW, Xuxa, YY, ZZ.

Can you help fill the gaps? Coming next: football (soccer) and baseball players.

Sports: Baseball Double Entendres

Heard on the Texas Rangers warm-up show tonight: Victor Rojas was interviewing Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News. At the end of the piece, Evan said, "Next time we do this, let's stay out of reach of Steve Smith's balls." Victor replied, "I'm not touching that."

There's plenty of double entendres in Baseball. "Low and inside". "Down in the dirt". "Choking up on his bat." "Mickey Mantle".

Words: OED In Limerick Form

This chap is trying to rewrite the Oxford English Dictionary in Limerick form. Good luck to him.

TV: "Beat The Nation"

Shame! Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden are doing a quiz show on Channel 4 (Beat The Nation) without Bill Oddie. (But you can play online.)

Demo from Austin band Spoon. (More Spoon mp3s here.)

Cryptogram: Current Events

Fairly topical cryptogram:


VB BLO EYKITERDXLS HRXKEVKCSHGPZ,

LF-GSLDVMLBX NHTLD LFIRDLD AKS

MVDCSHILARY LFXSH-NHSVXHY DLF:

"PHWL ZKR LWLS DLLB NZ OVAL ?"

Politics: Hitchens v Moore

Christopher Hitchens lays into Michael Moore on Slate. Sample excerpt: "I never quite know whether Moore is as ignorant as he looks, or even if that would be humanly possible."

Proverbs: Guests And Fish...

Who first said that guests and fish stink after three days? A Google search shows it claimed (variously) as a French/Dutch/Danish/Spanish/Portuguese Proverb. Other sites attribute it to Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Johnson and John Lyly. Lyly lived the earliest (1554-1606) so we'll give him the credit for writing down the proverb first.

The best dimples in Rock? Nina Persson out of The Cardigans.
(I highly recommend their latest CD, "Long Gone Before Daylight", which has just been released in the US with a bonus DVD.)

Words: Malapropism

I'm sure you know what a malapropism is, and that it derives from the character Mrs. Malaprop in "The Rivals" by Richard Brinsley Sheridan. But I didn't know until recently that Richard stole the character from his mother, Frances Chamberlaine Sheridan. Her play, "A Trip To Bath", has a character called Mrs. Tryfort who also mangles the English language.

Combos: Supreme Court Justice & Baseball Player

Here's a fun game to while away those long family road trips. Combine the names of U.S. Supreme Court Justices and Major League Baseball players. I'll start you off with two: Babe Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Earl Warren Spahn.

Hot Babes

Yes, I've already blogged it at Jigglefest, but here's a direct link. Could be used as an ad for Coke's new "C2" beverage.

Advertising: Web Ads

Did you see the news story about a lobster in England that was found guarding a barnacle-encrusted watch? When Robb read it on the Dallas Morning News web site, the story was accompanied by an ad for Red Lobster. I can't find it there, but this Seattle Post-Intelligencer version has mini-ads for Maine Lobster. Newsday.com gives me an ad for Microsoft's fancy watch.

Sports: Ballpark Jerks

Eric points out that this article about the "Foul Ball Jerk" refers to him as "a married, 28-year-old landscaper and former youth minister", and goes on to say "The man and a woman with him left before the game was over." Are they implying he was with someone other than his wife? Wouldn't that be a funny way to get caught cheating?

Lyrics Quiz: Cars

Which songs mention these cars?

• Stutz Bearcat
  
• Studebaker (will also accept)
  
• '85 Delorean
  
• Cutlass Supreme
  

You thought my criticism of Reagan was harsh? Try this. (Thanks Robert!)

Real-life Pac-Man in New York.

AdCritic readers are split on the Cointreau ads.

Misleading photo of Jennifer Connelly (thanks Robb).

Sports: Ballpark Jerks

Helpful diagram from the Dallas Morning News that shows the jerk at the Texas Rangers game yesterday. Robb thinks there should also be arrows for "The Wimpy Dad Who Did Nothing" and "The Cruel Girlfriend Who Wouldn't Let The Jerk Give The Ball To The Kid".

Celebrities: Paris Hilton

Don't forget - Paris Hilton is on the Late Show with David Letterman tonight.

Football: France v England

Incroyable! Translated by Babelfish:

Incredible scenario this Sunday evening enters France and England. Whereas the Blue ones were impaled irremediably in the wall drawn up by the British, a player named Zidane spouted out. The tricolour leader offered to his formation the victory by transforming in the stops of play an honest blow and a penalty. Unimaginable!

English and French could not thus be satisfied with a null match this Sunday and did not imagine a second an unspecified forgery not at the time of the match at the top of the Group B. Like often, a confrontation between Britanniques and Tricolour the chronicle during last days had enormously defrayed. The daily newspapers on the other side of the channel had broken out often showing a humour very "british". Of what to launch the hostilities!

Launched in-depth, the attacker high-speed motorboat of Everton (Rooney) sowed the disorder in the rows tricolour and Woodland (Silvestre) was obliged to make the irrevocable one: fault, yellow paperboard and especially penalty. Barthez gave again hope with the supporters blue, white, reds while leaving striking Beckham but the end of meeting showed sorrow. The Blue ones did not find any solution and fell into a play typically british. The long balloons rained and the defense of on the other side of the channel was regaled. Incompetents to pack the meeting, the Blue ones ran towards an inescapable defeat.

France however has in its rows a player of exception, a leader of play which makes dream all planet. Large Zinedine Zidane equalized of a superb honest blow of 25 meters with starts stops of play (91e, 1-1). James was going to seek depity the balloon at the bottom of his nets but the gatekeeper of the English could not imagine that the conclusion was going to prove even more terrible. On engagement, Steven Gerrard, feverish, tried to prolong towards its guard and Henry benefitted from the offering. The star of Arsenal was mown in surface and Zidane offered on penalty an unhoped-for victory (93e, 2-1). A true exploit, an unimaginable performance which launches the Tricolour ones ideally.

The enchanting Lena Headey. (Her IMDB entry.)

Cuba may back-pedal on anti-Reagan rhetoric, but I never will!

The Simpsons: Advertising

"Simpsons" Japanese commercials. Unfortunately, they're in Quicktime format, and I loathe and despise QT.

Pharmaceuticals: US v England

Saw an ad in an English newspaper for Zirtec and Clarityn. In the U.S., they're Zyrtec and Claritin. Why is that?

Sad news - Robert Quine has passed away. I first heard of him when he played on Lou Reed's "The Blue Mask" album.

Is there a better print advertising campaign than Cointreau's Be CointreauVersial ?

Lyrics Quiz: One Word

More one-word lyrics, courtesy of Shell:

• Pompatus
  
• Havering
  
• Semolina
  

And some from me:

• Lumbago
  
• Strategically
  
• Isolation
  

Sports: Basketball

I don't like basketball but I switched over and saw what I thought was a cyborg playing. Richard Hamilton of the Detroit Pistons - he wears a face mask, apparently, since he broke his nose. Wuss. Anyway, while searching for a photo online, I came across this news story:

The Indiana Pacers equipment manager was arrested Tuesday at a Birmingham hotel and charged with indecent exposure. 'Apparently he was proud of his equipment,' Birmingham Police Chief Richard Patterson said. 'He wanted to show it off.'

Lyrics Quiz: One Word

Fun parlour game for the whole family. Try to get the other players to guess a song by just giving them one word from the lyrics (and it can't be in the title). Some examples:

• silhouetto
  
• Abdomen (pronounced Ab-dome-en)
  
• Guadalajara
  

How come all these articles about Ronald Reagan's wit don't mention that most of his quips were the work of speechwriters?

Neil and Tim Finn are back together again.