Sports: John David Booty

USC quarterback John David Booty is a headline writer's dream. "UCLA plans to set a Booty trap against USC" says the San Jose Mercury. Shell suggested "Booty-licious", and indeed, that's how the Detroit Free Press captioned an AP photo. The New York Post used "Booty Call" for the Notre Dame game. "USC's QB no longer a sleeping Booty" said the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. I want to see "Defensive Line Can't Shake Booty".

By the way, if anyone has USC v UCLA on Tivo, go to the end of the 3rd quarter and watch the UCLA waterboy with the glasses and backpack. Talk about gratuitous butt-slapping. Someone should check his credentials to see if he's even part of the team.

Why does he go by a serial killer three-part name? To distinguish him from his father.

And speaking of funny names, maybe the former Russian Prime Minister, Yegor Gaidar, who was struck by a mystery illness in Ireland, would find a geiger counter more useful than "gaydar".