Feeble Attempt At Humour

Costume party ideas.

• If your name is Eric, carry a wet sponge and dab the side of your head with it. When asked why you're not wearing a costume, say, "What do you mean? I'm Erick Dampier."
  
• If your name is Steve, wear a raincoat and a tiara. It will be obvious to all that you are Steve McQueen.
  
• If your name is Rob(b), set yourself on fire and say, "Look everyone! I'm Robert Burns!"
  
• If your name is Pat, jump on people from behind and announce that you're a Pat on the back.
  
• If your name is Shell, shave off your eyebrows, then paint on new ones about an inch above the originals. Walk around with your mouth hanging open. "I'm Shell-shocked."
  
• If your name is Jim, have a more talented older brother named John and get him to die young from a drug overdose. Then land a mediocre sitcom where your wife is played by an actress far too beautiful to be your real-life wife. You can then pass yourself off as Jim Belushi.