MP3: Magnet Magazine

Magnet Magazine has some great free MP3s:

• Denmark's Choir Of Young Believers
  
• Durham NC's Megafaun (great beards)
  
• Former Grandaddy frontman Jason Lytle
  
• Canadian "psych/folk duo" Lightning Dust
  
• Telekinesis (compare "I See Lightning" to Liam Finn's "I'll Be Lightning")
  
• Former dBs Peter Holsapple and Chris Stamey have reunited
  
• Magnolia Electric Co.
  
• Cub Country
  

Advertising: Photo Shenanigans

Toronto city guide photoshops black guy's face into stock photo of what looks like a Latino family (and did it really badly too). This was caught by someone using TinEye, mentioned here recently. Toronto is still using the photo.

What is it with Canadian tourist boards and their lack of visual ethics? Recently, they were promoting Alberta with film of kids on an English beach. What makes it worse is that Alberta is landlocked.

Photography: 130 Megapixel Scanner Camera

Camera built from old scanner and camera lens - I don't understand how it works, but very cool. Sample photos.

Media: Fox Business News

Amusing clip of Fox Business "reporters" playing "pass the parcel" with breaking story none of them knows anything about. Expect a Daily Show parody tomorrow.

Music: Delays

Pardon the, uh, delay, but may I recommend Delays? I usually don't like male singers with high-pitched voices, but I'll make an exception here. You may hear echoes of the La's, Fleetwood Mac, the Hollies, the Cocteau Twins, the Charlatans, the Posies..

• "Nearer Than Heaven"
  
• "Hey Girl"
  
• "Long Time Coming"
  

Upon further review, I can only recommend these three videos from their first album ("Faded Seaside Glamour"). The later stuff is a bit too discoey for me.

Music: Rae Spoon

Please just listen to the streaming album from Rae Spoon before doing any research on this Canadian artist.

Lyrics Quiz: We Are...

1. "We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving."
   
2. "We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises, no demands."
   
3. "We are young, we run green. Keep our teeth nice and clean."
   
4. "We are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
   
5. "We are the goon squad and we're coming to town. Beep-beep. Beep-beep."
   
6. "We are stardust. We are golden. And we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."
   
7. "We are agents of the free. I've had my fun and now it's time to serve your conscience overseas."
   
8. "We are ugly but we have the music."
   
9. "We are, we are, we are but your children, finding our way around indecision. We are, we are, we are ever helpless. Take us forever."
   
10. "We're one, but we're not the same. Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again."
    
11. "We are flying down to Rio."
    
12. "We are the pretty petty thieves. And you're standing on our street."
    

Advertising: Stock Photo Models

Funny/cute story about how a simple trip to the park when she was 19 resulted in this woman seeing her face all over the world. (Forgive her the spelling of "Spainard".) (And don't bother downloading the accompanying MP3 files. Wet Hair sucks.)

There is another ubiquitous model, the "Everywhere Girl", but she is an actress/model, so I don't think it's quite as interesting.

But that story does link to a search engine called TinEye, which allows you to search for websites that use an image - and it doesn't have to be an exact match. For example, I input the address of one version of the infamous Ruby shoots Oswald photo, and it found 7 others that were cropped differently. It also allows you to compare images, by toggling back and forth between overlays. A search with the James Brown mugshot found a version in black & white (that impressed me) and a version with Tom DeLay's face.

Bicycling: Boris Johnson Near-Miss

This is an amazing accident caught on CCTV, never mind that the Mayor of London was almost killed.

Lyrics Quiz: Machines

In honor of the new "Terminator" film, a lyrics quiz about Machines. Songs 10-12 have "Machine" in the title.

1. "Oh, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine. I ain't the worst that you've seen."
   
2. "He likes to keep his fire engine clean, it’s a clean machine."
   
3. "I saw him dancing there by the record machine. I knew he must have been about seventeen."
   
4. "The Telex machine is kept so clean, and it types to a waiting world."
   
5. "She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean."
   
6. "Here comes Johnny Yen again, with the liquor and drugs and the flesh machine."
   
7. "Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground."
   
8. "The Rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night. And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine over the Jersey state line."
   
9. "We got a thousand points of light for the homeless man. We got a kinder, gentler, machine gun hand."
   
10. "Get up (get on up). Get up (get on up). Stay on the scene (get on up)."
    
11. "You've been in the pipeline, filling in time, provided with toys and Scouting For Boys."
    
12. "I - I just took a ride in a ------ -------. And I'm still feeling mean."
    

Music: Saturday Mix

• The Oak Ridge Boys cover "Seven Nation Army" - not bad.
  
• NPR is streaming "Dark Night Of The Soul", the new album by Danger Mouse, Sparklehorse and David Lynch, with guests including the Flaming Lips, Iggy Pop, Frank Black, Nina Persson, Jason Lytle, Suzanne Vega...sounds great, doesn't it? Unfortunately, EMI has blocked release of the album, so they're putting it out with a blank CD-R.
  
• You can also listen to a Bat For Lashes session at NPR.
  
• I missed this when it came out last October, but AC/DC made an Excel video to promote their latest album. You can download it here.
  
• Evan Dando, "Knowing Me, Knowing You" (ABBA cover)
  
• Pale Fountains, "Jean's Not Happening"
  
• Compulsion, "Rapejacket"
  
• Patti Smith, "Smells Like Teen Spirt" (Nirvana cover)
  
• Marianne Faithfull, "The Crane Wife" (Decemberists cover)
  
• Various musicians, "Crazy" (Gnarls Barkley cover, featuring two theramins)
  
• Cat plays mini-theramin
  

Music: In Bb 2.0

Very clever - in Bb 2.0, an array of 16 YouTube videos of various musicians playing in B flat. Start and stop each randomly. It's like the greatest Sigur Ros song ever!

Irish Politics: KildareStreet.com

New web site (in Beta), Kildare Street.com, allows you to search Irish parliamentary debates (Dáil Éireann and the Seanad), among other things.

A search for "Jesus" found this gem during a debate on gambling legislation:

Dermot Ahern (Minister, Department of Justice, Equality and Law Reform; Louth, Fianna Fail):
The FOBT issue is a tiny aspect of the overall matter. As someone who has hardly placed a bet in my life, I would like to have the knowledge of——

Pat Rabbitte (Dublin South West, Labour):
The Minister probably played the little baby Jesus in the nativity play.

The same query also found:

• Liz McManus: "Jesus, you are fierce cranky, there is no doubt."
  
• Ruairi Quinn: "Single party Government, no thanks. Jesus Christ."
  
• Martin Cullen: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph."
  
• Ruairi Quinn (again): "I draw the Taoiseach’s attention to a last minute 'Jesus we forgot something, we’d better get it in quick' instance."
  
• (The winner) Joe Higgins: It further beggars belief that he could not give it back. Did the Taoiseach ever hear of a bank draft? This morning it took me two minutes to draft the letter the Taoiseach could send with it: 'Ah Jaysus lads, you’ll have me in huge trouble if you don’t take back the €50,000.'"
  

I found another good quote from Pat Rabbitte, "Sometimes one gets the impression that the Minister for Transport, Deputy Brennan, gives the same amount of thought to policy initiatives in transport areas as Britney Spears does to marriage."

Music: Irish Artists On MySpace

Some current Irish acts on MySpace, with a recommended track for each:

• Jerry Fish & The Mudbug Club ("Back To Before" - great duet with Carol Keogh)
  
• R.S.A.G. ("Days Go By")
  
• Imelda May ("Why Don't You Do Right?" - cover)
  
• Autamata ("What You All About")
  
• Vyvienne Long ("Seven Nation Army" - cover)
  
• Cora Venus Lunny ("Nana")
  

Actors: Quiz

What do the following actors have in common?

• Tim Roth
  
• Eric McCormack
  
• Denis Leary
  
• David Spade
  
• Mandy Patinkin
  

YouTube: Covers

Some covers off YouTube.

• Los Colorados (from the Ukraine) cover "Hot & Cold" by Katy Perry
  
• The Noisettes cover "When You Were Young" by The Killers
  
• The Saturdays cover "Beggin'" by Madcon
  
• Arcade Fire cover "Guns Of Brixton" by The Clash
  
• Masha Qrella covers "Don't Stop The Dance" by Bryan Ferry
  
• Lambchop cover "This Corrosion" by The Sisters Of Mercy
  

Video: Facial Muscle Stimulation

Four Japanese guys with their faces twitching in time to "music". How long before some band (Blur?) copies this for a music video? The top right guy looks like the most fun. They all favour thick black spectacles.

Law: Crazy Lawsuits

D Magazine's Front Burner has a PDF of a crazy lawsuit filed in Dallas, "Corolone Inc., Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Buddy Busch v. Mahmound Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, Rod Blagojevich, Donald Trump, and James Goodnight." Among other things, it lists Osama bin Laden's address in Jacksonville FL (which happens to be the same as Corolone Inc.). It accuses someone of playing grab-ass with the First Lady. Oh, and features really atrocious spelling, punctuation and grammar.

In other crazy lawsuit news, moderately well-known lady singer Santogold had to change her stage name to Santigold after a lawsuit from the star of bizarre 1980s infomercials (and terrible dancer), Santo Gold. (His web site has a 'NEW "Hilarious" FUNNY SONG, SUNG BY SANTO GOLD Himself, Titled: "YOUR FIRED".' I'm glad it's both hilarious and funny.) You can read the entire press release, with really atrocious spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Media: The Irish Times

If you accessed The Irish Times on a mobile device recently, you would have seen the odd juxtaposition of two unrelated ads: "Find Your Ancestors/Dating Service". Made me smile every time.

I can't find it on the web edition, but I did find an article by Kate Holmquist, wife of Rocky De Valera. Rocky de Valera and The Gravediggers have a new video on YouTube: "Baby Don't You Worry Bout A Thing", shot in beautiful downtown Howth. (I've been to that Centra!)

Young people today don't realise how scandalous it was for Ferdia Mac Anna to name himself after Dev. And now he looks like an old TD (although very few TDs wear an eyepatch).

Music: Fabchannel

Dutch website Fabchannel, host of many great live concerts, is going out of business on Friday, March 13. Enjoy it while you can.

I'm currently listening to Elbow. Watched Bettie Serveert yesterday, and plan to watch Midlake and Spoon later.

An Awesome Attempt At Humour

I have a sock that's in the Guinness Book Of Records for having been repaired the most times. It's the darnedest thing!

Internet: Rickrolling

Have you heard of Rickrolling? A prankster sends a link that purports to be anything other than a Rick Astley video, but turns out to be Never Gonna Give You Up". What japes! Even Hitler got Rickroll'd! I like Obama's version - which led to McCain getting BarackRoll'd.

RickRolling can soothe crying babies.

Rick Astley took part in a live RickRolling at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2008.

Literature: Samuel Beckett

The Irish Independent reviews a book of Samuel Beckett's letters.

One of his correspondents was his Dublin friend Mary Manning whom he kept informed as to the progress of his tour, the latest rejections of his novel 'Murphy' and the inexorable development of a boil he had "between wind and water".

That's the classiest term for the taint that I've ever heard!

Movies: Academy Awards 2009

Stray thoughts while watching the Oscars.

• I loved the Tina Fey/Steve Martin bit, because I love anything that sticks it to Scientology. Scientologists are idiots!
  
• Jeers to ABC for showing Brad & Angelina while Jennifer Aniston was doing her schtick.
  
• Did the audience laugh when the Art Direction guy said David Fincher was a wonderful human being?
  
• That "Duchess" costume guy seemed a bit of a jerk - "We had great music by Rachel Portman but that's not it."
  
• The Ben Stiller bit had great potential but went nowhere.
  
• Even Baz Luhrman looked embarrassed by that dumb musical clusterfudge.
  
• Joel Grey is tiny! I'd like to see the "Man On Wire" guy balance him on his chin.
  
• Danny Boyle = Morrissey
  
• Oscar song mash-up!
  
• Kate Winslet is a big old fake. She is demeaning Hollywood with her fakeness.
  
• Did Sean Penn say we elected the Elephant Man president? Just when you have him pegged as a bleeding arse liberal, he goes and insults Barack Obama.
  
• Why do we have to see clips from former winners to appreciate this year's nominees, Stephen bloody Spielberg? It's all this montage crap that causes the show to run so bloody long.
  

Internet: Wikipedia Names Your Band

Here's a fun time-waster, courtesy of the internet.

1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit "random". The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
   
2. Go to Random Quotations. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
   
3. Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days". The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
   
4. Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.
   

There's a group of these album covers on flickr.

Here's my contribution. Band name = Surberg (municipality in Bavaria). Album title = "Administered With Subhuman Inefficiency". (Quote from Eric Ambler.) Cover is a beautiful black and white shot of an elderly lady walking through a rain-slick town square at night, with head down. I suspect Surberg are a post-industrial German band, who make experimental "found sound" collages, live in a squat, but go home to get their laundry done.

Lyrics Quiz: Making Love

Just in time for Valentine's Day! (#9 and #10 have "Making Love" in the title.)

1. Cast my memory back there, lord. Sometimes I'm overcome thinking about making love in the green grass, behind the stadium.
   
2. Moving forward, using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best.
   
3. Making love in the afternoon with ------- up in my bedroom. I got up to wash my face. When I come back to bed, someone's taken my place.
   
4. We can funk until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone.
   
5. I crawl like a viper through these suburban streets. Make love to these women, languid and bittersweet.
   
6. A force from above, cleaning my soul. Flame on burn desire. Love with tongues of fire. Purge the soul. Make love your goal.
   
7. Making love with his ego.
   
8. A woman's love can lift you up, and women can inspire. I feel like buying flowers and hiring a celestial choir. A choir of castratis to serenade my love. They'd sing a little Bach for us and then we'd make love.
   
9. If I had those golden dreams of my yesterdays, I would wrap you in the heaven 'til I'm dyin' on the way.
   
10. And I know the roads to riches, and I know the ways to fame. I know all the rules, and then I know how to break 'em. And I always know the name of the game.
    

(2/21) And one more I forgot:

Drying up in conversation.
You will be the one who cannot talk.
All your insides fall to pieces.
You just sit there wishing you could still make love.

Radio: "The Story"

Heard a fascinating radio piece tonight from American Public Media's "The Story". When she was 7, Andrea Richardson Stowers lost her military pilot father in an air crash. She has tried to uncover details of his secret government work, but the power of the story lay in the smaller dramas of loss, guilt and coping.

There is more about the USAF crew (and what they were doing) at the Arlington Cemetery site.

Safety: Level Crossings

I challenge you to watch this video without exclaiming "Jesus!".

(Thanks to Neil for the link.)

Here's an Indian level crossing, and it's just as you would imagine.

This US video looks fake to me.

And finally, a brutal PSA from Australia.

TV: Game Show Ideas

• "Family Freud" - two families must psycho-analyze each other.
  
• "Deeley Or No Deeley" - contestants must decide whether the show's hostess is, in fact, Cat Deeley, or one of the hundred other English people currently presenting US game shows.
  
• "Cash Hansom Cab" - the History Channel's first game show. Contestants are transported in a horse-drawn carriage while answering questions about the 19th century.
  
• "Depardieuy" - quiz where contestants must deliver their answers in the form of a Gérard Depardieu impression.
  
• "The Leakiest Wink" - Wink Martindale competes against other people named Wink to see who has the best bladder control.
  

And a separate set of suggestions for BBC Northern Ireland:

• "Countydown"
  
• "The Newry Wed Game"
  
• "Win, Lose Or Dromore"
  

Advertising: Cheers & Jeers

• Jeers to AT&T for their Pepe Le Pew commercial showing him being pursued by the female cat. He's always the one pursuing her! (Okay, maybe not always.)
  
• Jeers to H&R Block for a series of ads showing shlubs bragging "I've got people". (Thus breaking my #1 rule for ads: never show unattractive people using your product.) This sauna one is the worst, because we have to look at the fat bald guy wearing only a towel. (It also really annoys me that I recognize him from somewhere - another commercial?)
  
• Jeers to Budweiser for being Budweiser.
  
• Jeers to CareerBuilder.com for their annoyingly repetitious ad from Superbowl XLIII.
  
• Jeers to Pizza Hut for their series of "hidden camera" spots where "ordinary people" (aka unemployed actors) are amazed that the crap they just ate came from Pizza Hut. (These ads are better backwards because you get to see the patrons spitting out the food.) The ad I hate most is where Chef Elisabeth has her hipster friends try "The Natural". It's her hand motions that annoy me most. Folgers were doing this back in the '70s.
  

Film/Physics: "The Italian Job"

"The Italian Job" problem solved. (How do they get the gold from the end of the bus (which is hanging over a cliff)?)
I agree with the commenter who wrote:

"So... once they've deflated the tyres and drained the fuel tanks (presumably over the edge of the cliff) how do they drive away with the gold? The winning solution has just replaced one problem with another."

YouTube: Wolves and Foxes

I've created a couple of music video playlists for bands who are named after or sing about wolves or foxes. Enjoy.

Music: Country Lyrics

Do you ever see or hear something so strange that it makes you think that either the world has gone crazy or you have? I had that sensation when I saw the TV ad for Snuggies. Truly a WTF moment. (And now I just saw the Slanket video.)

Driving home tonight, I heard "Mental Revenge", as performed by Waylon Jennings. Something about the lyrics struck me as just a little off. "So all in all, if the curtain should fall, Lord, I hope that it falls on you." That's stupid but funny, I suppose. "Well, I hope that the train from Caribou, Maine, runs over your new love affair. You walk the floor from door to door, and pull out your peroxide hair." Bitter! And then the chorus: "I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge. I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge." I'm not sure what "mental revenge" is. How does it differ from non-mental revenge? I think it was just my frame of mind, but at the time, this song struck me as completely nuts.

Shouldn't be surprised by the repetition of "sweet" considering the song was written by stammering Mel Tillis.

That song was immediately followed by Randy Houser's "Anything Goes", and that has great lyrics (written by Brice Long and John Wiggins). "Anything goes when everything's gone." It represents what I like best about country music - clever yet meaningful wordplay.

Music: U2 Cover

Pitchfork reports that the cover of the new U2 album is a photograph that was previously used by some "sound artists". (They sound like white noise to me.) I'm sure this was an innocent move by U2, who, like the rest of us, had probably never heard of these pretentious tossers.

Didn't U2 get into trouble for "The Unforgettable Fire" photos by Anton Corbijn, because he was copying the technique of another photo artist? Now they actually pay to use the original photo and get (very minor) flak.

My only objection is that the album is called "No Line On The Horizon", and the photo very clearly has a line on the horizon.

Pitchfork mentions this happened before to Bob Dylan and Luna.

The same photo was also used by Fountains Of Wayne and The Flamingoes.

You can hear the new U2 single, "Get On Your Boots", on their site. I like the "sexy boots" line but "Kinky Boots" would be better. In fact, "Zip Up Your Mickey" would have been a better title for the song.

Music: "Running With The Devil"

I've actually never heard Van Halen's "Running With The Devil" before, but someone must have leaked Dave Lee Roth's isolated vocal track, because it's all over the internet.

There's a Diamond Dave soundboard. Not sure if you could really make a prank call with it. (Although Howard Stern did one with an impersonator.)

Now someone has put the vocals to an auto-generated backing track, and it's awful. The software that created the music, Microsoft's Songsmith, has a cheesetastic promo video.

The DLR vocals have also been used in mash-ups with
the Beatles, Queen, Michael Jackson, and (the best of a bad lot) Stevie Wonder.

TV: "Countdown"

I'm looking forward to seeing the new host of "Countdown", Jeff Stelling, on my next trip home. (I liked Des O'Connor more than I expected, Des Lynam was terrible, and Richard Whitely was a lovable idiot.)

Stelling is a sports presenter in Britain, and his Wikipedia page lists some of his "Dad" jokes, like "it looks as if Jellyman has thrown a wobbly" and (when Guy Branston was sent off) "he got himself in a pickle". He comes across as a nice chap in this Guardian interview.

The official photo of Carol Vorderman's replacement, Rachel Riley, doesn't do her any favours. Looks far too prim and proper. The Daily Mail has a high school photo for comparison. Then again, Carol had some awful '80s looks at the start.

Their first show is tomorrow, January 12.

Sports: Appropriate Names

New York Giants DE Justin Tuck has an appropriate name. Did they create the Tuck Rule for him? Either way, he gets to start his vacation early.

And here's a cryptic crossword clue for Eric:

QB Pennington may scramble (6,7)

Music: Bonnie "Prince" Billy

The stand-out track on Bonnie "Prince" Billy's latest album, "Lie Down In The Light", has to be "Missing One", particularly for anyone who has lost a parent. You can hear it at this blog.

Will Oldham played some acoustic concerts with his brothers in 2006. It seems to have been a tribute to their father, who had died recently. Mostly traditional songs. You can hear most of it at Aquarium Drunkard.

Music: First Aid Kit

Charming video of Swedish duo First Aid Kit covering "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by Fleet Foxes. (And it's a bit late, but they also do a great "Blue Christmas".

(There's also a Nova Scotian band called the First Aid Kit (who don't exactly stand out from the crowd), an extinct post-punk band called First Aid Kit from Connecticut, and a Spanish electronic-ish band called First Aid Kit, who are actually quite pleasant.)

Crime: Mug Shots

2008 Mug Shots Of The Year from The Smoking Gun. #16 is an excellent example of gurning. #8 is a model father-son relationship. But #7 is the most poignant - a single tear barely visible below the shades.

YouTube: Hank and Townes

A piece in the Irish Times yesterday reminded me that Hank Williams and Townes Van Zandt both died on January 1 (1953 and 1997 respectively). Here are some YouTube highlights.

• Hank doing "Cold Cold Heart" and "I Can't Help It", a duet with June Carter's sister
  
• "Long Gone Lonesome Blues", set to home movies
  
• "Be Careful Of Stones That You Throw" by Hank's alter ego, Luke The Drifter
  
• Terry Bradshaw (!) covers "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry", and it's not bad
  
• Townes performing "the first song I ever wrote", "Waitin' Around To Die"
  
• "Pancho & Lefty" on TNN in 1993 (and Townes talks about the song)
  
• "Kathleen", set to some B&W movie
  
• Cowboy Junkies cover "To Live Is To Fly"
  
• Emmylou Harris covers "If I Needed You" with Chris Farley/Steve Earle, which cuts to Townes in 1975
  

Sports: Quotes of 2008

Mark emailed us this Guardian blog post with a sports quote of the year:

His classic reply to a journalist who asked "What does Chris Hoy think of Chris Hoy?" - "Chris Hoy thinks that the day Chris Hoy refers to Chris Hoy in the third person is the day that Chris Hoy disappears up his own arse."

(The item at the end of the post about Lance Armstrong is even better.)

The Irish Times has their sports quote of the year. Best Colemanballs quote:

"Paul Maloney has a look between his legs and he will like what he sees." - Channel 4's Derek Thompson on a race at Taunton. Lest you were wondering, Maloney's nag was leading by a distance.

Best put-down of an individual:

"Dirk Kuyt is earning himself the reputation as Anfield's Prince Harry - in the frontline for three months and no one knows anything about it." - Sun reporter Phil Thomas on Liverpool's hit-and-miss Dutchman.

Best put-down of a nation:

"They've won 40 per cent of their medals in cycling - if only there was snooker, darts and a dog show." - NBC presenter Jim Lampley on Britain's success at the Olympic Games.

Best joke by a septuagenarian:

"Ooh, Carol Vorderman, I like her. I was watching Countdown last week and I got aroused . . . seven letters wasn't a bad score, I thought." - BBC golf commentator Peter Alliss very, very nearly causing us to lose our lunch.

For more US-centric quotes, try the Chicago Daily Herald:

Herman Edwards, coach of the struggling Kansas City Chiefs, on whether he's a candidate for the job at San Diego State: "I've got a college team now."

Doc Rivers, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?"

This Arsenal fan site has a few good ones:

'They've kicked our backsides. Now we've got to lick our wounds' - Steve Bruce gives an unedifying image.

The BBC has their list, too:

"Brock's a big bloke, isn't he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you'd tuck him in!" Ricky Hatton during the Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Mixed Martial Arts fight.

"I've never been one for stats and milestones, I just try to do the best for my team. I'm the third fastest person in the history of the game to get 10,000." Ricky Ponting showed remarkable knowledge for someone who was not one for stats and milestones.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test Match cricket." Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?" During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough

The O.C. Register has a slideshow:

"I can't screw up Alabama. We're 48th in everything and Arkansas and Mississippi aren't going anywhere." - Charles Barkley, on his plans to run for governor.

"Manny Ramirez is not here. His grandmother must have died again." - President George W. Bush, at the White House ceremony honoring the champion Red Sox.

Music: Gramercy Arms

The always reliable Chromewaves recommends (somewhat lukewarmly) Gramercy Arms. Perfect listening for this lull between Christmas and New Years. (Co-produced by Nathan Larson, who is Mr. Nina Persson. Very excited about the new A Camp record coming to the US on April 28th.)

Gramercy Arms even have a Christmas song with the singer from Mascott.

Probably unrelated: Rick Danko and Robbie Robertson stayed at the Gramercy Arms Hotel.

Covers: "Jailbreak"

Norway's Susanna (of Susanna and the Magical Orchestra) has recorded a cover of Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak" on her new CD. Bonnie "Prince" Billy is on backing vocals.

The Cardigans covered "The Boys Are Back In Town", so we can infer that all female Scandinavian singers like Thin Lizzy.

YouTube: "This Old House"

Songs called "This Old House" (or "Ole" or "Ol'").

• Stuart Hamblen (1954 - I just know the Shakin' Stevens cover)
  
• Neil Young (Farm Aid, 1987)
  
• Madrugada (Norwegian band, 1999, check out their other videos)
  
• Madeline (1993 - some French indie chick, I think)
  
• Acoustic Dad - nice strumming. Annoyingly, reminds me of another song I can't quite identify.
  

Sports: Coach Facial Expressions

Shells adds the scowl of an old college basketball coach, Eddie Sutton.

YouTube: "Whole Wide World"

This is a little gem: Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby live in Dallas playing his biggest song, "Whole Wide World", as seen in "Stranger Than Fiction".

The original - how young he was when he was young!

Cover by Irish singer Gemma Hayes - "Ah, shite!"

Cover by the Monkees - is that Mickey singing?

Cover by the Proclaimers, proving (despite what Mike Myers might say) that something can be Scottish AND crap.

Cover by Laptop - at least he's trying to do something different with it.

Guitar lesson - only two chords!

Sports: NFL Coach Facial Expressions

Sure, Bill Cowher's scowl was disturbing, the way the down-turned corners of his mouth appeared to go all the way to the edge of his face, like a pissed off Beaker.

And Tampa Bay's Jon Gruden has a really scary angry face.

But the one that gives me the willies is Saints coach Sean Payton when he sucks in his cheeks and purses his lips. (Yeah, he does look like Kenny Chesney. And I guess the look might be stolen from Zoolander.)

YouTube: Local 80s Acts

Hey, remember the '80s? Doctor Proctor, Kansas City, MO band on local TV, circa 1984. Worth it just to see the lead singer. Wonder whatever happened to the bass player?

Here's a more sophisticated Connecticut band, Disturbance, from 1983.

Maryland, 1985, and Butch Willis and the Rocks - you have to see the back-up singer's technique. This may be the best song I've heard today.

In a different league is this Atlanta band, The Raves - good McCartney impression!

Essays: Innovation

New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell on the subject of innovation.

YouTube: Dutch Music

Music from the Netherlands.

• The Tielman Brothers, "Rollin' Rock" (1960) (Dutch-Indonesian rockabilly - amazing!)
  
• Golden Earrings, "Daddy Buy Me A Girl" (1966) (love the dancing chick!)
  
• Golden Earring, "Radar Love" (1973) (they dropped the "S" - video with Spongebob)
  
• Gruppo Sportivo, "Disco Really Made It" (1979)
  
• Nits, "In The Dutch Mountains" (1987)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Palomine" (1992)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Under The Surface" (1992)
  
• Carol van Dyk, "Silent Spring" (1998) (with John Cale)
  
• Bettie Serveert, "Lover I Don't Have To Love" (Bright Eyes cover)
  
• Chitlin Fooks, "The Battle" (2001) (Carol's country side-project)
  
• Rock 4, "Paranoid Android" (a capella cover)
  

Bonus: Frank Black pays tribute to Herman Brood.

Nitpicking: "Literally" 2

Okay, we've been here before, but Eric emailed me this Jerry Jones quote about Adam Jones: "He's literally on a high wire without a net."

And on "The Daily Show" tonight, conservative author Christopher Buckley said that after he publicly backed Obama, "quite literally, all hell broke loose."

And in the Obama piece, he writes about his editor, "As for Kathleen, she has to date received 12,000 (quite literally) foam-at-the-mouth hate-emails."

I can't decide if misusing "quite literally" is worse than misusing plain "literally", or not. Depends if you're speaking American English or English English:

Quite is used differently in English English and American English. American English tends to use the old meaning of 'absolutely, completely', whereas English English tends to use quite as a sort of begrudging 'fairly, adequately but...'.

There is a blog tracking misuse of "Literally", but they haven't posted since August.

(A Joe Biden speech - and may I say that Biden's prediction of an international crisis early in an Obama presidency was a huge gaffe, not because of any doubts that may be planted in voters' minds about Obama but because it confirms what a self-important windbag old Joe is. "Mark my words...Remember I said it standing here, if you don't remember anything else I said...I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it's going happen. I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate." The CNN report ends with: Biden appeared to forget Sunday night's fundraiser wasn't closed to reporters, saying, "I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here." It's not too late to dump Biden and pick Marlee Matlin.)

Small Towns: Hutchinson, KS

Wow! Someone actually walks in Hutchinson, Kansas! "If they're having dinner out, she and her husband walk to the restaurant just like a couple in New York City." Goll-ee! Demerit for using the phrase "more unique".

The courthouse in Reno County had a bad smell. "Some witnesses, including Schroeder, an Oklahoma grad, likened it to a dead KU Jayhawk." Now why would a Kansan go to OU? That doesn't make sense.

Hutch (as I like to call it) was the birthplace for composer Steven Stucky. He's on YouTube!

And look! A cute college girl from Hutch!

Beverages: Zima

RIP Zima. Used as the punchline in 9 Top Ten lists, most in 1994 and 1995. Never tried it.

YouTube: Road Songs

• Lars Bygden & Ane Brun - "This Road" (Read about her at the NY Times)
  
• The Cardigans - "The Road" (One of my favourite Cardigan songs. Too bad we only see the back of Nina's head.)
  
• The Cowboy Junkies with Ryan Adams - "200 More Miles" (For 20th anniversary of "The Trinity Sessions".)
  
• The Highwaymen - "On The Road Again" (My least favourite Willie Nelson song.)
  
• Katie Melua - "On The Road Again" (Canned Heat cover.)
  
• Barrabas - "On The Road Again" (Spanish disco.)
  
• Lightnin' Hopkins - "Lonesome Road" (And dominos!)
  
• The Triffids - "Wide Open Road" (Perfect.)
  

Lyrics Quiz: Save

Here's one I've been "saving" up. #1-7 have "Save" or "Saving" in the title. #8-12 don't.

1. "And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance. But fear is in your soul. Some people call it a one night stand. But we can call it paradise."
   
2. "We try to hustle them, try to bustle them, try to cuss them. The cops want someone to bust down on Orleans Avenue."
   
3. "When I think of those East End lights, muggy nights. The curtains drawn in the little room downstairs. Prima Donna. Lord, you really should have been there. Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair."
   
4. "Sooner or later, your legs give way, you hit the ground."
   
5. "Its not very easy, living all alone. My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own. But each time I try, I just break down and cry, 'cause Id rather be home feeling blue."
   
6. "Go on and close the curtains, 'cause all we need is candle light. You and me and a bottle of wine. Going to hold you tonight. Well we know I'm going away, and how I wish, I wish it weren't so. So take this wine and drink with me. Let's delay our misery."
   
7. "Though it hurts to go away, it's impossible to stay. But there's one thing I must say before I go. I love You (I love you). You know." (Video clue)
   
8. "There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. Because maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me."
   
9. "Jack, he is a banker. And Jane, she is a clerk. And both of them save their money when they come home from work."
   
10. "And some have sailed from a distant shore. And the company takes what the company wants. And nothing's as precious as a hole in the ground. Who's gonna save me?" (Not "Who's gonna shave me?" as some thought at the time.)
    
11. "Like a worm on a hook. Like a knight from some old fashioned book. I have saved all my ribbons for thee."
    
12. "Don’t help me - I can save myself. If I’m incomplete, don’t fill the gaps. Save me from the people who would save me from myself."
    

Bonus: The Triffids, "Save What You Can" video.

Well it doesn't look much like we'll see the New Year,
'Cos all the bright young faces are here.
And I can't see us rising to their occasion any more.
No, not their Christmas cheer.

Time is against us, even love conspires to disgrace us.
And with things being what they are ...
Yes and things being what they are

Oh my friend, we used to walk in the flames.
Now somebody's taken my arms.
The shadows are taller, you're missing your halo.
With your face in the half-light you look like a stranger.

You made me catch my breath just then,
You made me catch my breath.
Is that you... is that still you?

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

The final time we touch,
I watch as you enter the church.
You turn and you wave, then you kneel and you pray.
And you save of yourself what you can save.

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

And between ourselves, and the end at hand,
Save what you can.

(Official website)

Music: Dukes

• I heartily recommend listening to the new album by Duke Special (click on the song titles in the ad on this page to listen). Reminds me of "Room To Roam"-era Waterboys. Just hate the dreadlocks. On "Later With Jools Holland". Covering "Video Killed The Radio Star" live.
  
• Not to be confused with the Duke Spirit. Good record store appearance. Here they are trying to be the Velvet Underground and Nico. Another video.
  
• Duke Robillard playing with Tom Waits.
  
• And let's not forget the Dukes of Stratosphear, an outlet for XTC's psychedelic psyde. A video!
  
• The original: Duke Ellington (with two other pianists on David Frost's show). And "Take The 'A' Train". And "Satin Doll".
  

Advertising: Sharp

Why is Sharp using that freaky albino scientist (Dr. Gerard Fasel, in their TV ads? He's almost as creepy as the Lipitor guy. Apparently, he'll play an albino security guard in a movie.

Internet: Google 2001

Google is celebrating their 10th anniversary by allowing users to search their oldest available index (from January 2001). A search for "Sarah Palin" returns zero matches. "Paris Hilton" returns one result about the "teen beauty" followed by many results for the hotel.

Video: "Take On Me"

Literal version of aHa's "Take On Me".

Religion: Yom Kippur

Last year on Yom Kippur, I went to see a Keira Knightley movie with a rabbi and the Prime Minister of Israel. The ticket collector at the cinema let them in, but then put out her arm to stop me following. "I'm sorry, sir," she said, "but this is the Jewish day of 'Atonement'."

Obituaries: Jerry Reed

Reuters obituary for country singer Jerry Reed. Live performances of "When You're Hot, You're Hot" and "A Thing Called Love". He was in "Smokey And The Bandit" (as well as performing the theme song). And he even appeared in Scooby Doo.

Obituaries: Don LaFontaine

Washington Post tribute to movie trailer voiceover artiste Don LaFontaine. (Via The Rich Girls Are Weeping.)

Politics: Sarah Palin

• Sarah Palin's Vlog (actually, comedian Sara Benincasa). "I'm a mother of five..five children I had myself." (Via Wonkette, which has taken to calling her a "snowbilly".)
  
• Fake blog: The PalinDrome (cute). Guest post from "Todd", addressed to his pregnant daughter: "I will admit I was worried at first about this fiancey of yours. I mean Levi, thats not a normal name like Trapper or Hunter or Trigger or Scout."
  
• The Guardian offers two actual palindromes.
  
• The L.A. Times asks who'll play her in inevitable TV movie. No surprise - Tina Fey has a commanding lead.
  
• Did McCain wince when he heard her screechy voice for the first time? Check out this video at about the 2:05 mark. And 4:12. She needs the same voice training they gave Margaret Thatcher. And why does McCain keep tugging on his ring finger?
  
• The Anchorage Daily News has an article about her ex-brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten. Worth reading just for the subheading, "TASING THE STEPSON". That sounds like it should be a euphemism for something.
  
• Updated 9/3: McCain has called Palin "spectacular". Must be a "Seinfeld" fan.
  

Lyrics Quiz: Mystery Theme 4

A "mystery theme" quiz from Eric:

1. Mid-west farmer's daughters really make you feel all right.
   
2. Stopped into a church, I passed along the way. Well I got down on my knees, and I pretend to pray.
   
3. They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast.
   
4. Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow, I think I might be sinking.
   
5. Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation.
   

Bonus: alphabetical lyrics quiz by Matthew Baldwin. I don't know about you, but this quiz really does a number on my brain!

Internet: Sexy People

OK, this is just mean: Sexy People - but the picture of the Cousins will bring a smile to your face. And what's with these Dutch girls with tiara and sceptre? (Via Defamer.)

YouTube: Neil Diamond Covers

Covers of Neil Diamond songs.

• "Cherry Cherry" by The Music Machine
  
• "Solitary Man" by Johnny Cash
  
• "Solitary Man" by Chris Isaak
  
• "Love On The Rocks" by Millie Jackson
  
• "I'm A Believer" by Tori Amos
  
• "Kentucky Woman" by Deep Purple
  
• "Song Sung Blue" by Altered Images
  
• "Holly Holy" by the Fabulous Flames
  
• "Hello Again" by podline6
  
• "America" by the Castillo Kids
  

Models: Sunshine Tutt

Eric broke the sad news that ex-SNL star Chris Kattan is separating from his model wife of two months, Sunshine Tutt.

Signs that the marriage was doomed from the start:

• He proposed on Christmas Eve in Gainesville, TX.
  
• He addressed her as "bro" during the proposal.
  
• At the wedding, Parker Posey was the Best Man.
  
• The wedding photos were published in In Touch magazine.
  
• Her name is Sunshine.
  
• He was Mango!
  

Sports: Appropriate Olympics Names

Eric points out that Men's 100m winner Usain Bolt has a most appropriate name. Although Dolt would suit him better. I cannot understand why you would ease up at the end of a race, no matter how big your lead. Wanker.

There's a female US runner (400m) called DeeDee Trotter.

New Zealand has a rower named George Bridgewater.

Australia has a Shooting competitor (a marksman) named Russell Mark. (Thank God he's not called Mark Russell.)

French cyclist Cecile Rode.

Does British swimmer Liam Tancock practise the backstroke in the nude? Perhaps with Aussie swimmer Natalie Titcume?

I hope Japan's kayaker Yuriko Takeshita does not have an appropriate name (even if Lisa Simpson could make an anagram out of it).

Music: Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams has a new place for his crazy shit: drawings, tributes to his guitars, old photos, strange videos, incomprehensible gibberish. Here is a supposed Heavy Metal song, "Love Woman" by Sleazy Handshake - presumably Ryan his own self. "Stand Up (On My Nuts)" is better.

YouTube: Recent Videos

• "Rich Girls" by The Virgins. Video Hottie alert!
  
• "Momma's Boy" by Chromeo. Good B&W animation, very retro song.
  
• "White Winter Hymnal" by Fleet Foxes. So-so stop-motion animation by the singer's brother.
  
• "I Decided" by Solange (Beyonce's younger sister). Cartoonish trip through the last four decades.
  
• "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" by She & Him. Gratuitous cartoon violence. We get it - you're a cute girl who wants to be taken seriously.
  
• "Wake Up Call" by "Heroes" cheerleader Hayden Panettiere. It's bad when people compare your song to Paris Hilton - and, actually, Paris's song was better.
  
• "Run Run" by Swedish girl group Those Dancing Days.
  
• Cover of Blondie's "Picture This" by Robert Forster and Lisa Miller on Australian TV.
  

Thursday Miscellany

Mixum-gatherum of stories from around the web, with a heavy porn flavour.

• This one's for Woody: movie theatre has unintentionally dirty marquee.
  
• Tape of drunk Larry King from many years ago.
  
• Nicolas Sarkozy drunk after meeting with Vladimir Putin.
  
• Google launches Wikipedia competitor, Knol (but not knol.com, which seems to be a Dutch manufacturer of masturbation aids). Knol's articles are written by experts, not the masses. The first article that caught my eye was one on Breast Augmentation. Despite their controlled commenting system, the first comment is "yay tits!". Other good comment about how the "before" pictures (supplied by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons) are "gray and dead-looking".
  
• Meanwhile, new Google rival, Cuil, had a slight problem with gay porn images popping up in inappropriate places.
  

Harpists: Merry Miller

Remember that embarrassing cable TV interview with Holly Hunter from a year ago? The interviewer, Merry Miller, is also an accomplished harpist. She makes music for babies.

I hope this new endeavour helps her overcome her moment of infamy. Sadly, it didn't work for Bill Buckner when he released an album of sea shanties played on the spoons.

Blogs: Patanoia

Time for a new slogan for Patanoia, and time to retire "Compressed knitters humbling formica - reassured against the against, again with the sideswipe." It had a good run.

Emergency Calls: Drunk British Woman

Gizmodo has audio of a drunk British woman calling 999 and asking when the internet started, "me darlin'". As they say, the operator is amazingly polite.

More Avon & Somerset Police videos.

Lyrics Quiz: Remember

1. Do you remember there was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand. They used to talk about the weather, making plans together. Days would last forever.
   
2. Think of me as one you'd never figured would fade away so young, with so much left undone. Remember me to my love, I know I'll miss her.
   
3. That's 'Retha Franklin. She don't remember the Queen of Soul.
   
4. For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.
   
5. I remember way back then, when everything was true, and when we would have such a very good time. Such a fine time. Such a happy time.
   
6. I've played all kinds of palaces, and laid all kinds of girls. I can't remember faces, I don't remember names. Ah, but what the hell. You know it's just as well, 'cause after a while and a thousand miles it all becomes the same.
   
7. I can almost remember their funny faces that time you told them that you were going to be marrying.
   
8. Here as I sit at this empty cafe thinking of you, I remember all those moments lost in wonder that we'll never find again.
   
9. So long ago, I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend. Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease, as I listened through the cemetery trees.
   
10. Remember what the dormouse said. Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head.
    

YouTube: Pop Stars Falling

• Beyonce (poor quality but full points for fall)
  
• Bono (walks backwards off stage - wish I could see the Edge's reaction)
  
• Christina Aguilera (just a stumble)
  
• Axl Rose (does he do it deliberately?)
  
• Robbie Williams (but he carries if off with aplomb)
  

Bonus: models falling down.

Sports: Euro 2008

A Euro 2008 round-up.

• I had blamed ESPN for the useless statistics flashed on-screen, but now that I'm back in Ireland, I realise they are part of the official TV feed. A typical example showed that one team led the other 4-3 in being caught Offside. And what's up with showing how many kilometers a player has covered during the game? And how do they measure it?
  
• At least I have escaped Tommy Smyth. Choice Tommy quote: "It's amazing the way the game can change with the flick of an eye."
  
• Now I can hear proper football commentary - a rollcall of players' names as they pass the ball around. Just the way God meant it to be.
  
• All the commentators were very careful how they pronounced the name of Russian midfielder Zhirkov. Hard to hear it without thinking of the joke about the manager who told the player he'd pull him off at half time. Too bad Zhirkov didn't get to play in Bern's Wankdorf Stadium.
  
• I do think it's highly insensitive of ESPN to call their Spanish-language channel ESPN Deportees. The vast majority of Latinos in the US are there legally.
  
• Match the players with their country.
  

  Petit		Germany
  Roger Guerreiro		Sweden
  Lukas Podolski		Poland
  Zlatan Ibrahimović		Portugal

  
  
• Lookalike: Italian coach (already fired) Roberto Donadoni and Flaming Lips leader Wayne Coyne.
  
• I was going to post another lookalike of Franck Ribery and the face-melting Nazi from Indiana Jones, but apparently Ribery was in a bad car accident when he was a kid. As a result, he can only grow a sideburn on one side of his head.
  
• Football is being ruined by one thing: shirt-pulling. There should be an immediate red card for anyone caught tugging another player's shirt. Video replays should be used to enforce the rule. The only alternative is that all players must wear oven mitts.
  
• None of the kits blew me away. I liked the retro look of the German kit. And the numbers on the Dutch shirts crack me up - they look like someone made them from strips of electrical tape. The English Premier League has a standard set of numbers that everyone must use. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was delighted by Germany's typeface in Euro 1996. (But he doesn't like the Dutch "toilet paper numbers.)
  
• Best ESPN quote was from Adrian Healey when the Netherlands added a fourth goal against France: "It's a Dutch Oven, and the French are toast."
  

Sports: Caught Peeking

• Jose Lima eyeing Korean baseball cheerleader
  
• David Beckham checking out Laker Girl's arse
  
• Beckham's sons carry on the family tradition
  
• Now it's Posh's turn
  

Music: Action Biker

I'm not mad about her synthy backing music, but I'm smitten with the Swedish singer who goes by the name Action Biker (born Sarah Nyberg Pergament). In the second half of this video she conjugates French verbs to a ye-ye beat. (You can hear it at her MySpace too.) She sings three songs in this video, just her head singing to the camera. (The first song reminds me very much of early Cardigans.)

One of her many other projects is The Dreamers.

Unrelated: a 3-year-old explains "Star Wars".

Quiz: Presidential Relatives

Eric supplies this quiz. Name the President (or Predidential candidate) who is associated with each relative (some of these are merely metaphorical):

1. Crazy Uncle in the attic
   
2. Crazy Aunt in the basement
   
3. Uncle Joe
   
4. Straying Sisters
   
5. Billy Beer
   

Literature: Clandestine

Read At Work offers a clever interface to read public domain poems and short stories at work. (Via Largehearted Boy.)

Lyrics Quiz: I'm Not

1. "I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know, if you know what I mean."
   
2. "I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. Oh, no."
   
3. "I'm not big on social graces. Think I'll slip on down to the Oasis."
   
4. "Well I'm not the world's most physical guy, but when she sqeezed me tight she
   nearly broke my spine."
   
5. "I'm not a drowning man! And I'm not a burning building! (I'm a tumbler!)"
   
6. "I'm not sleeping - oh, no, no."
   
7. "And I'm not a man who likes to swear, but I never cared for the sound of bein' alone."
   
8. "I'm not a prophet or a stone age man. Just a mortal with the potential of a superman."
   
9. "I'm not the kind that needs to tell you just what you want me to."
   
10. "I'm not sayin' this just to be nasty. I sincerely wanna f*** the taste outta your mouth."
    

Eric adds:

11. I'm not the one who's coming back for more. You know why, been through this so many times.

Baseball: Promotions

Best sports promotion ever: miniature bathroom stall with a "bobblefoot" being given out by the St. Paul Saints. (They're having a "Moment Of Noise" tribute to Marcel Marceaut tonight.) One of these giveaways is already on eBay, and bidding is currently at $102.50.

Sports Illustrated (from 2004) lists the Top 10 Minor League Promotions, half of which were run by Mike Veeck teams.

Mental Floss lists "Five Ballpark Promotions That Went Wrong". Includes the Cleveland Indians' "10 Cent Beer Night" for a game against your Texas Rangers.

YouTube: Recent Music

After those nostalgic "Remember The Eighties?" videos, how about some brand spanking new ones?

• Weezer, "Pork And Beans" (helps if you're "plugged in" to other YouTube phenomena)
  
• Portishead, "The Rip" (sounds more like side project Rustin Man than Portishead)
  
• Goldfrapp, "Happiness" (one of those single tracking shot videos that are a little cliched by now, but it's done well, probably with some camera trickery)
  
• El Perro Del Mar, "Glory To The World" (latest from Sarah Assbring. Bonus Velvets cover.)
  
• El Perro Del Mar & Lykke Li, "After Laughter (Comes Tears)" (live encore by fellow Swedes, with a definite Abba influence in keyboards and choreography)
  
• Hayes Carll, promo for new album
  
• Gary Louris, "True Blue" (from his solo album - this video has only had 5 views. Sad.)
  
• Bon Iver, "The Wolves (Act I & II)"
  
• Phosphorescent, "Wolves" (Black Cab Sessions - see also Spoon, Lykke Li, Okkervil River, The National.)
  

YouTube: 80s Acts

I suddenly had a hankering to hear "Driving Away From Home" by It's Immaterial, and luckily YouTube was there to satisfy. ("Ed's Funky Diner" is also worth hearing.)

And while we're in Liverpool in the '80s, "Hollow Horse" by the Icicle Works.

I could only find this version of "Soul Train" by Swansway - interesting, but not as good as the single version. Two of them later formed Scarlet Fantastic and had a hit with "No Memory".

Another great '80s single: "Heart And Soul" by T'Pau. (Didn't know that was a Star Trek reference.)

Roddy Frame covers "Jump".

This doesn't have a proper video, but it's such a great song: "Return To Yesterday" by the Lilac Time.

Lyrics Quiz: Alliteration

A little alliteration can really enliven a lyric. Which artists recorded these gems?

1. "Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I got what it takes."
   
2. "It's not 'natural', 'normal' or kind, the flesh you so fancifully fry."
   
3. "And if it snows, that stretch down south won't ever stand the strain."
   
4. "We got the bubble-headed bleach-blonde who comes on at five."
   
5. "Chickity China the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'."
   
6. "Wordlessly watching, he waits by the window and wonders at the empty place inside."
   
7. "A little old lady got mutilated late last night."
   
8. "FDA, big bankers buying. Fake computer crashes, dining."
   

Music: Camille

Recommended if you like French pop, art-funk and quirky vocals: Camille and her new album "Music Hole". She was one of the vocalists for Nouvelle Vague.

She's well represented on YouTube:

• "La Demeure D'Un Ciel" (on French TV, good example of how she loops and multi-tracks her voice)
  
• "Au Port" (live on "Later With Jools Holland")
  
• "Gospel With No Lord" (her new single)
  
• "Les Ex" (live in concert)
  
• "Home Is Where It Hurts" (montage for track from new album)
  
• "Le Festin" (from the "Ratatouille" soundtrack)
  
• "Ta Douleur" (video)
  
• "In A Manner Of Speaking" (with Nouvelle Vague - original by Tuxedomoon)
  

YouTube: Tindersticks

Tindersticks have a new album out, "The Hungry Saw" (but not in the US yet).

Here's a selection of videos to tide us over.

• "Downside" by Asphalt Ribbons (precursor of Tindersticks)
  
• "City Sickness" (from the first Tindersticks album)
  
• "No More Affairs" (from the second album, live on Jools Holland)
  
• "I've Been Loving You Too Long" (Otis Redding cover, b-side, home-made video)
  
• "Can We Start Again?" (from "Simple Pleasures")
  
• "Dying Slowly" (from "Can Our Love...")
  
• "Killing Theme" (from soundtrack to "Trouble Every Day", as interpreted by Danish gymnasts)
  
• "16 Summers, 15 Falls" (solo Stuart Staples for La Blogotheque)
  
• "Hungry Saw" (acoustic version of title track from new album)
  

Lookalikes: Ron Wilson

Here's a coaching lookalike that Shell can't pooh-pooh. San Jose Sharks coach Ron Wilson and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" actor Jamey Sheridan.

On the subject of ice hockey, who has the worst broken nose in the sport? Stéphane Robidas. (I tried translating this French blog into English using Babel Fish, and the name "Pat Brisson" came out as "Stalemate Brisson". Also, the Stars "occupy at present the 3e row of Pacifique division behind powerful Ducks d' Anaheim and Sharks de San Jose"

Movie Quote Quiz: God

1. "God has a hard-on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours."
   
2. "You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do."
   
3. "Blame is for God and small children."
   
4. "The Christians are so poor..." "How poor are they?" "Thank you. They are so poor that they only have one God. But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly."
   
5. "We're on a mission from God."
   
6. "Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved."
   
7. "The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God."
   
8. "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"
   
9. "How shall we fuck off, O Lord?"
   
10. "In Limerick, you are only allowed to say you love God, and babies, and horses that win. Anything else is softness in the head."
    

Band List: Bands Named After Songs

Bands named after another artist's song:

• Stars Of Track And Field (song by Belle And Sebastian)
  
• World Leader Pretend (song by REM)
  
• Pretty Girls Make Graves (song by The Smiths)
  
• Shakespear's Sister (also a song by The Smiths)
  
• Ladytron (song by Roxy Music)
  
• Aqualung (song by Jethro Tull)
  

Any others?

(Wikipedia has a comprehensive list.)

Business; Consumer Issues

Consumer stories from Consumerist.

• Vote in their Worst Company In America, bracket-style contest. Some are easy choices for me (Sony over Google, DeBeers over 1-800-FLOWERS, Charter Cable over Wellpoint, Ticketmaster over anyone), others tougher (Target vs Best Buy). (Although I seem to be alone on that last one - 94% chose Best Buy.)
  
• Yes, it happened in San Francisco, but this story of mob rule causing a liquor store to "go green" is an interesting idea.
  
• Cockeyed.com provides a useful consumer service by asking, "How Much Is Inside?" For example, how much is inside Granola Bars? (Don't miss Granola Jenga and the lovely granola raccoon.) And how much is inside a shopping cart? And very droll commentary.
  

Hot Chicks: G4

Which network has the hottest chicks? The geeks' network, G4. (I only stumbled upon it because it's next to Comedy Central - honest, guv.)

• Olivia Munn. She's like a combination of Nina Persson, Jenna Elfman and Joey Lauren Adams, only hotter.
  
• Morgan Webb - yes, that's really her name. Classy lady, even in a bikini.
  
• Kristin Holt, former Dallas Cowboys' cheerleader.
  
• Layla Kayleigh, a multi-ethnic Brit.
  

Bonus video from today's "Attack Of The Show", hilarious office pranks.

Cover Versions: Old People

Copy, Right? has a video of Dame Shirley Bassey covering Pink's "Get The Party Started". They've made Dame Shirley look pretty good for a septuagenarian.

Can you put these cover versions in order of age disparity between original artist and the old fart making a desperate attempt at cred (from high to low)?

1. Dame Shirley covering Pink (M&S ad version, with women who aren't Shirley Bassey in lingerie)
   
2. Tom Jones covering Prince
   
3. Peggy Lee covering George Harrison ("fanvid" for the TV show "House")
   
4. Frank Sinatra covering Billy Joel (static shot of record player)
   

Lyrics Quiz: Saturday

Numbers 1-8 have "Saturday" in the title. Numbers 9 and 10 are just there to make up the numbers.

1. "People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream, singing Italian songs."
   
2. "Don't give us none of your aggravation, we've had it with your discipline."
   
3. "His name was always Buddy, and he'd shrug and ask to stay. She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid, and turn her face away."
   
4. "Now another fella told me he had a sister who looked just fine. Instead of being my deliverance, she had a strange resemblance to a cat named Frankenstein."
   
5. "Two feets they come a-creepin', like a black cat do. And two bodies are lyin' naked. Creeper think he got nothin' to lose."
   
6. "Well you gassed her up behind the wheel, with your arm around your sweet one in your Oldsmobile, barrelin' down the boulevard."
   
7. "There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign, we've all seen at least three times. Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck. Put a dollars worth of gas in his pickup truck."
   
8. "Save up their money for a holiday, to Selsey Bill or Bracklesham Bay. Think about the future when they'll settle down. Marry the girl next door - with one on the way."
   
9. "No April rain, no flowers bloom. No wedding Saturday within the month of June."
   
10. "Oh, oh, oh, something tells me that you're really gone. You said we could be friends, but that's not what I want. And, anyway, my TV dinner's almost done. It's a lonely Saturday night."
    

YouTube: Korean Toddler

Korean toddler singing "Hey Jude" enthusiastically.

His name is Hero, and there is a short piece from Korean TV about him. (No English translation, but there is a bio in the "About this video" section which states, "I was born in Seoul, Korea on Sept.2003. I am not only extreme mania of The Beatles who is the greatest musician, immortal idol of the mankind but also well-informed on autocars beyond just mania." And it shows.

(Via Copy, Right?)

TV: FiOS Guide

The weirdest thing about Verizon's FiOS TV service is the descriptions of the late night talk shows in their on-screen guide. "Affable comic Jimmy Kimmel interviews a varied lineup of guests." Affable? "Cunning late night talk show host Conan O'Brien interviews leading entertainers and provides national exposure to alternative music acts." Cunning? Carson Daly is described as "the young, hip and eccentric MTV personality". Hip and eccentric? And guess who is "the edgy Emmy-winning comedian" who "builds on his predecessors' successes"? Jay Leno? And finally, "using his own zany brand of comedy, talk show host David Letterman interviews popular celebrities and entertains late-night viewers."

Whoever writes these is either really bored or really stoned. Or both.

History: Internet

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I'm sure both of my regular readers have missed me. I've been busy moving house. During the move, I found an old copy of British music mag Mojo. Try to guess the year they printed this guide to the Internet. The answer may surprise you!

Unless you are a member of the Amish, fear is usually the reason for holding out against new technology, but these days the Internet is no longer difficult to master. If you can get money out of a bank machine, then you can send and receive e-mail and browse the World Wide Web; all it entails is pointing and clicking.

1. You need a computer, of course. An Apple Macintosh is easiest to use...

2. You need a modem to connect your computer to a phone line. You need a fast one, 28.8kbps or more...

3. You need a service provider to connect you to the internet. This is just a phone number that your computer dials when you click on the Internet icon...It doesn't matter where in the world you travel on the Internet, you only pay for the local phone call to your server.