YouTube: Recent Music

After those nostalgic "Remember The Eighties?" videos, how about some brand spanking new ones?

• Weezer, "Pork And Beans" (helps if you're "plugged in" to other YouTube phenomena)
  
• Portishead, "The Rip" (sounds more like side project Rustin Man than Portishead)
  
• Goldfrapp, "Happiness" (one of those single tracking shot videos that are a little cliched by now, but it's done well, probably with some camera trickery)
  
• El Perro Del Mar, "Glory To The World" (latest from Sarah Assbring. Bonus Velvets cover.)
  
• El Perro Del Mar & Lykke Li, "After Laughter (Comes Tears)" (live encore by fellow Swedes, with a definite Abba influence in keyboards and choreography)
  
• Hayes Carll, promo for new album
  
• Gary Louris, "True Blue" (from his solo album - this video has only had 5 views. Sad.)
  
• Bon Iver, "The Wolves (Act I & II)"
  
• Phosphorescent, "Wolves" (Black Cab Sessions - see also Spoon, Lykke Li, Okkervil River, The National.)
  

YouTube: 80s Acts

I suddenly had a hankering to hear "Driving Away From Home" by It's Immaterial, and luckily YouTube was there to satisfy. ("Ed's Funky Diner" is also worth hearing.)

And while we're in Liverpool in the '80s, "Hollow Horse" by the Icicle Works.

I could only find this version of "Soul Train" by Swansway - interesting, but not as good as the single version. Two of them later formed Scarlet Fantastic and had a hit with "No Memory".

Another great '80s single: "Heart And Soul" by T'Pau. (Didn't know that was a Star Trek reference.)

Roddy Frame covers "Jump".

This doesn't have a proper video, but it's such a great song: "Return To Yesterday" by the Lilac Time.

Lyrics Quiz: Alliteration

A little alliteration can really enliven a lyric. Which artists recorded these gems?

1. "Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I got what it takes."
   
2. "It's not 'natural', 'normal' or kind, the flesh you so fancifully fry."
   
3. "And if it snows, that stretch down south won't ever stand the strain."
   
4. "We got the bubble-headed bleach-blonde who comes on at five."
   
5. "Chickity China the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'."
   
6. "Wordlessly watching, he waits by the window and wonders at the empty place inside."
   
7. "A little old lady got mutilated late last night."
   
8. "FDA, big bankers buying. Fake computer crashes, dining."
   

Music: Camille

Recommended if you like French pop, art-funk and quirky vocals: Camille and her new album "Music Hole". She was one of the vocalists for Nouvelle Vague.

She's well represented on YouTube:

• "La Demeure D'Un Ciel" (on French TV, good example of how she loops and multi-tracks her voice)
  
• "Au Port" (live on "Later With Jools Holland")
  
• "Gospel With No Lord" (her new single)
  
• "Les Ex" (live in concert)
  
• "Home Is Where It Hurts" (montage for track from new album)
  
• "Le Festin" (from the "Ratatouille" soundtrack)
  
• "Ta Douleur" (video)
  
• "In A Manner Of Speaking" (with Nouvelle Vague - original by Tuxedomoon)
  

YouTube: Tindersticks

Tindersticks have a new album out, "The Hungry Saw" (but not in the US yet).

Here's a selection of videos to tide us over.

• "Downside" by Asphalt Ribbons (precursor of Tindersticks)
  
• "City Sickness" (from the first Tindersticks album)
  
• "No More Affairs" (from the second album, live on Jools Holland)
  
• "I've Been Loving You Too Long" (Otis Redding cover, b-side, home-made video)
  
• "Can We Start Again?" (from "Simple Pleasures")
  
• "Dying Slowly" (from "Can Our Love...")
  
• "Killing Theme" (from soundtrack to "Trouble Every Day", as interpreted by Danish gymnasts)
  
• "16 Summers, 15 Falls" (solo Stuart Staples for La Blogotheque)
  
• "Hungry Saw" (acoustic version of title track from new album)
  

Lookalikes: Ron Wilson

Here's a coaching lookalike that Shell can't pooh-pooh. San Jose Sharks coach Ron Wilson and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" actor Jamey Sheridan.

On the subject of ice hockey, who has the worst broken nose in the sport? Stéphane Robidas. (I tried translating this French blog into English using Babel Fish, and the name "Pat Brisson" came out as "Stalemate Brisson". Also, the Stars "occupy at present the 3e row of Pacifique division behind powerful Ducks d' Anaheim and Sharks de San Jose"

Movie Quote Quiz: God

1. "God has a hard-on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours."
   
2. "You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do."
   
3. "Blame is for God and small children."
   
4. "The Christians are so poor..." "How poor are they?" "Thank you. They are so poor that they only have one God. But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly."
   
5. "We're on a mission from God."
   
6. "Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved."
   
7. "The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God."
   
8. "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"
   
9. "How shall we fuck off, O Lord?"
   
10. "In Limerick, you are only allowed to say you love God, and babies, and horses that win. Anything else is softness in the head."
    

Band List: Bands Named After Songs

Bands named after another artist's song:

• Stars Of Track And Field (song by Belle And Sebastian)
  
• World Leader Pretend (song by REM)
  
• Pretty Girls Make Graves (song by The Smiths)
  
• Shakespear's Sister (also a song by The Smiths)
  
• Ladytron (song by Roxy Music)
  
• Aqualung (song by Jethro Tull)
  

Any others?

(Wikipedia has a comprehensive list.)

Business; Consumer Issues

Consumer stories from Consumerist.

• Vote in their Worst Company In America, bracket-style contest. Some are easy choices for me (Sony over Google, DeBeers over 1-800-FLOWERS, Charter Cable over Wellpoint, Ticketmaster over anyone), others tougher (Target vs Best Buy). (Although I seem to be alone on that last one - 94% chose Best Buy.)
  
• Yes, it happened in San Francisco, but this story of mob rule causing a liquor store to "go green" is an interesting idea.
  
• Cockeyed.com provides a useful consumer service by asking, "How Much Is Inside?" For example, how much is inside Granola Bars? (Don't miss Granola Jenga and the lovely granola raccoon.) And how much is inside a shopping cart? And very droll commentary.
  

Hot Chicks: G4

Which network has the hottest chicks? The geeks' network, G4. (I only stumbled upon it because it's next to Comedy Central - honest, guv.)

• Olivia Munn. She's like a combination of Nina Persson, Jenna Elfman and Joey Lauren Adams, only hotter.
  
• Morgan Webb - yes, that's really her name. Classy lady, even in a bikini.
  
• Kristin Holt, former Dallas Cowboys' cheerleader.
  
• Layla Kayleigh, a multi-ethnic Brit.
  

Bonus video from today's "Attack Of The Show", hilarious office pranks.

Cover Versions: Old People

Copy, Right? has a video of Dame Shirley Bassey covering Pink's "Get The Party Started". They've made Dame Shirley look pretty good for a septuagenarian.

Can you put these cover versions in order of age disparity between original artist and the old fart making a desperate attempt at cred (from high to low)?

1. Dame Shirley covering Pink (M&S ad version, with women who aren't Shirley Bassey in lingerie)
   
2. Tom Jones covering Prince
   
3. Peggy Lee covering George Harrison ("fanvid" for the TV show "House")
   
4. Frank Sinatra covering Billy Joel (static shot of record player)
   

Lyrics Quiz: Saturday

Numbers 1-8 have "Saturday" in the title. Numbers 9 and 10 are just there to make up the numbers.

1. "People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream, singing Italian songs."
   
2. "Don't give us none of your aggravation, we've had it with your discipline."
   
3. "His name was always Buddy, and he'd shrug and ask to stay. She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid, and turn her face away."
   
4. "Now another fella told me he had a sister who looked just fine. Instead of being my deliverance, she had a strange resemblance to a cat named Frankenstein."
   
5. "Two feets they come a-creepin', like a black cat do. And two bodies are lyin' naked. Creeper think he got nothin' to lose."
   
6. "Well you gassed her up behind the wheel, with your arm around your sweet one in your Oldsmobile, barrelin' down the boulevard."
   
7. "There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign, we've all seen at least three times. Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck. Put a dollars worth of gas in his pickup truck."
   
8. "Save up their money for a holiday, to Selsey Bill or Bracklesham Bay. Think about the future when they'll settle down. Marry the girl next door - with one on the way."
   
9. "No April rain, no flowers bloom. No wedding Saturday within the month of June."
   
10. "Oh, oh, oh, something tells me that you're really gone. You said we could be friends, but that's not what I want. And, anyway, my TV dinner's almost done. It's a lonely Saturday night."
    

YouTube: Korean Toddler

Korean toddler singing "Hey Jude" enthusiastically.

His name is Hero, and there is a short piece from Korean TV about him. (No English translation, but there is a bio in the "About this video" section which states, "I was born in Seoul, Korea on Sept.2003. I am not only extreme mania of The Beatles who is the greatest musician, immortal idol of the mankind but also well-informed on autocars beyond just mania." And it shows.

(Via Copy, Right?)

TV: FiOS Guide

The weirdest thing about Verizon's FiOS TV service is the descriptions of the late night talk shows in their on-screen guide. "Affable comic Jimmy Kimmel interviews a varied lineup of guests." Affable? "Cunning late night talk show host Conan O'Brien interviews leading entertainers and provides national exposure to alternative music acts." Cunning? Carson Daly is described as "the young, hip and eccentric MTV personality". Hip and eccentric? And guess who is "the edgy Emmy-winning comedian" who "builds on his predecessors' successes"? Jay Leno? And finally, "using his own zany brand of comedy, talk show host David Letterman interviews popular celebrities and entertains late-night viewers."

Whoever writes these is either really bored or really stoned. Or both.

History: Internet

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I'm sure both of my regular readers have missed me. I've been busy moving house. During the move, I found an old copy of British music mag Mojo. Try to guess the year they printed this guide to the Internet. The answer may surprise you!

Unless you are a member of the Amish, fear is usually the reason for holding out against new technology, but these days the Internet is no longer difficult to master. If you can get money out of a bank machine, then you can send and receive e-mail and browse the World Wide Web; all it entails is pointing and clicking.

1. You need a computer, of course. An Apple Macintosh is easiest to use...

2. You need a modem to connect your computer to a phone line. You need a fast one, 28.8kbps or more...

3. You need a service provider to connect you to the internet. This is just a phone number that your computer dials when you click on the Internet icon...It doesn't matter where in the world you travel on the Internet, you only pay for the local phone call to your server.

Video: HD-DVD vs Blu-Ray

In yet another "Downfall" repurposing, Hitler rants about the high-def DVD formats. (Subtitles NSFW.)

Here's a Arsenal 3 - Tottenham Hotspur 1 version. Subtitles very NSFW, with gratuitous dig at Steve Nash.

Advertising: Lipitor

Have you seen that Lipitor commercial starring Dr. Robert Jarvik, supposed inventor of the artificial heart? How creepy is that guy? (Sample comments on YouTube: "I don't know why but I don't like this guy." "You suck! Quit scammin' sweet old ladies you ass!!" "He likes man.") There's another ad that shows him with his son, as if to emphasize that he's not gay, but he's still creepy.

Jarvik reminded me of someone and I couldn't put my finger on it. There's a little John Malkovich there, maybe a little Spalding Gray. But then it hit me: he should be lowering the medicine in a bucket down a well and saying, "It takes the Lipitor and it reduces its bad cholestrol."

The good news is that the House Energy and Commerce committee is including him in their investigation of prescription medicine marketing.

He's married to that Marilyn vos Savant woman. (Looks like the son that commercial is actually hers from a previous marriage.)

Sports: June Jones

• June Jones - college football coach, just signed to SMU
  
• June Jones - R&B female vocalist
  
• Junie B. Jones - First Grade girl who stars in a series of children's books
  
• Junior Jones - bantamweight boxer with the nickname "Poison"
  
• Juniper Jones - the fake name used by Robert Young in the film "Cairo"
  
• July Jones - actor in black films of the 1940s (and a song by the New Pornographers)
  
• Julius Jones - running back for the Dallas Cowboys
  
• The 4th of July at Jones Beach
  
• Jill Jones - saucy songstress and former Prince protegée
  

Celebrities: Priscilla Ceballos

Priscilla Ceballos, the Garland mother whose daughter won a Hannah Montana essay contest, has apologized for making up her eyebrows. "I apologize to anyone who saw the thin dark lines above my eyes and thought they might be real brows. I apologize to anyone who has been having nightmares about my eyebrows. I apologize especially to our armed forces who are fighting to give me the right to shave off my real brows and replace them with with sideways parentheses."

TV News: Cynthia

I didn't realize that Channel 8's new morning anchor, Cynthia Izaguirre, was the newswoman in the infamous clip where she previews an item about a blind mountaineer by saying, "But he's gay. I mean, he's gay. Excuse me, he's blind". She has another uncomfortable YouTube moment with a drunk Dale Hansen from New Year's Eve.

Why does everyone make such a big deal about her last name? Even her old station does in this farewell.

Speaking of news bloopers, I hadn't heard about this one from 2006 until recently. BBC News 24 was due to interview an internet expert about the Apple Computers vs Beatles lawsuit. Instead, they ended up with Guy Goma who had shown up for a job interview. The look on his face when he's introduced is priceless. He gamely tries to answer her questions, and she is obviously not listening to his answers or can't understand his accent.

Art: Science As Art

You can download desktop images from the Materials Research Society "Science As Art" contest. The nano-explosions are freaky.

Music: Cathy Davey

From nialler9's Top Irish Albums of 2007, I listened to the sample of Cathy Davey and liked what I heard. She's got a great Cameron Diaz smile too. Be sure to watch the "Reuben" video under "Sounds like" on her MySpace with the couple doing a silly dance around Spain.

Also recommended: Adrian Crowley. Ryan Adams likes him. There's a Will Oldham cover ("West Palm Beach") on his MySpace.

Music: Liam Finn

Watch a video by Liam Finn. Hear more songs at his MySpace. Damn, he sounds like his dad. Which is a good thing.

(On this unofficial Neil Finn MySpace, you can hear father and son cover the Beatles' "Two Of Us", and Neil cover "Sexual Healing"!)

And try the Mash'dup House page, with Crowded House mash-ups, sensitively done.

Crosswords: Crosaire

I was delighted to meet an amateur crossword setter last night who agreed with me that the cryptic crossword in the Irish Times, by Crosaire, is often unfair. (O'Brien Books has a free sample.) As this site says, a cryptic clue should contain "a definition and an element of wordplay", and "the wordplay element obeys logical rules". Crosaire falls down on the logic part. Solvers must use induction more than deduction.

An example from Crossword No. 13,413, published December 20th, 2007:

At this stage the tree gets a hat. (7)

I had "_ _ E _ T _ _", and guessed "theatre", which is an anagram of "tree" and "hat". However, there is no indication of an anagram in the clue, and no logical reason the articles "the" and "a" should be excluded from the wordplay.

Then again, Crosaire is set by a 90-year-old who has been doing this for over 60 years, so I should cut him some slack.

Music: Christmas

The Dallas Observer links to My Morning Jacket's "Christmas Time Is Here Again (Bring Out The Joy!)". Note that are more Christmas songs at the Archive.org page.

The Observer also links to The Old 97's and "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas". (But "Christmas Time Is Here" is better.)

rbally has old R.E.M. Christmas fan club songs. Surviving The Golden Age has the latest R.E.M. fan club song, a cover of Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody".

If you like remixes of old songs, Analog Giant has Dean Martin remixed by Dan The Automator.

And it's not Christmas without Chris Rea (at Keep The Coffee Coming). Lovely piano.

Coverville has a great video of a college men's choir performing a Christmas medley.

Finally, the Pine Cone Punks still have their MySpace page, but no new songs since "Coal For Christmas".

Politics: Bertie Ahern

Ireland's unbeloved Taoiseach Bertie Ahern uttered another "Bertie-ism" in November when he said that deferring pay rises for himself and other ministers would "only be playing smokes and daggers", conflating "smoke and mirrors" with "cloak and dagger" (and possibly "snakes and ladders").

Meanwhile, more details come to light of the "dig-out" in the 1990s when some of his "friends" gave him "loans". Choice quotes:

• "I was asked for cash and I said I would give cash. I think the reason for that is that Bertie is an extremely proud individual and if he got cheques he was going to rip them up." (Dave McKenna)
  
• "He said something like, 'Dermot, I must fix up that few quid with you', but I told him I didn't want it." (Dermot Carew, referring to IR£16,500.)
  
• Mr (Barry) English said he knew times weren't good for Mr Ahern, and as his own brother had gone through separation and divorce, his heart went out to him.
  
• Mr (Jim) Nugent retorted that he kept cash at home and always had done so to pay various bills.
  
• Maureen Gunne, widow of auctioneer Fintan Gunne, said she kept the Taoiseach's cheque for sentimental reasons and instead sent a donation for a similar amount to the Mater Hospital in memory of her late husband.
  
• "I'm a gatherer, rather than a scatterer. I was a collector, this was a goodwill gesture to a friend. It was a few quid to a friend, I was not looking for a receipt." (Charlie Chawke)
  

Oh, to have friends like that! Completely unrelated thought: is Ireland the most corrupt country in Europe?

TV: High-Class Totty

There are two good reasons to watch "Countdown" now: the ageless Carol Vorderman has been joined by Alison Heard. Alison has replaced Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner while Susie is on maternity leave.

Be sure to read the biography section of this unofficial website.

Music: Klima

If you like female singers from Continental Europe (and who doesn't?), try Klima. I like the way she pronounces "City".

The Times lists her as one of the New Acts Of The Year.

She also works with Piano Magic and is part of the duo Ginger Ale (my fave beverage!).

TV: "WordGirl"

Recommended whether you have children or not: "WordGirl" on PBS. Smart, silly cartoon fun, in the grand tradition of "Rocky & Bullwinkle" and "The Tick". Here's a sample on YouTube. Jim Lehrer (and his button eyes) got an exclusive interview.

Was she named after the Scritti Politti song? And don't miss "The Sweetest Girl" and "Wood Beez". I had never heard his Beatles' cover, "She's A Woman" or his Stevie Wonder cover, "I Don't Know Why I Love You".

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

While Don Henley was recording the "One Of These Nights" album with the Eagles, he heard some nasty rumors that his wife was cheating on him with the entire offensive line of the University of Illinois football team. He laughed it off, until he happened to come home early one day and saw a bunch of cars parked in the driveway - with Illinois license plates.

Henley rushed up the stairs and into the bedroom. As he entered, he saw the closet door slam shut. Bare feet poked out from under the curtains. And the bed was raised up off the floor, and teetered from side to side.

His wife, out of breath, pretended to brush her hair at the dressing table. "Hi Donny," she said, "what's wrong?"

Henley exploded.

"You can't hide your Illini."

Sports: Mangin-

Mangino - head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks (and seriously fat).

Mangini- head coach of the New York Jets.

Mangina - head coach of the Seton Hall Women's Basketball team (along with other more disgusting meanings of the word).

Mangine - trainer for the University of Cincinnati Bobcats.

Manginu is still available for any would-be coaches.

Sports: Les Miles

Watch LSU coach Les Miles' press conference where he dismisses talk of him going to Michigan by stating "I'm preparing for Ar-kansas" (pronouncing the final "s").

The state of Arkansas passed a resolution in 1881 that the "s" should be silent. There was a filthy Ozark recitation on the subject.

Quite apart from his mispronunciation, I dislike Miles' style of speaking, which is reminiscent of our current President's. Why do coaches talk in this overly dramatic, overly emotional, us-against-the-world way? (OSU's Mike Gundy is still the one to beat for 2007.)

And why oh why is "Coach" treated as a title for life, a la "Maestro"? Didn't they fight a revolution in this country to get rid of titles?

Lyrics Quiz: Few Hit Wonders

Here's a lyrics quiz featuring One Hit Wonders (or not many hits, anyway) from the 1970s. The Comments section has the answers, and links to YouTube videos for each.

1. C-c-come, come inside. I've been expecting you to arrive. Your sh-sh-shoes, shake 'em off, while I go and turn the music down soft.
   
2. Sam, you've been waiting much too long. Now it looks like she's not coming home. Sam, you've been loyal, true and faithful, all this time with being alone.
   If I could get that same dedication, I'd give you everything in creation, if she doesn't come back.
   
3. If you're a stranger here, and you need some action, we have a remedy that could really catch on. Pleased to see another face at light-up time. If you're feeling dull and run down, we can really make you shine.
   
4. No, sir, I don't feel very much like talking. No, neither walking. You wanna know if I can dance. Yes, sir. Already told you in the first verse. And in the chorus. But I will give you one more chance.
   
5. Where you can hear a country song from far, and someone play the honky-tonk guitar. Where all the lights will go out one by one, the people join the sun, and the wind takes it away.
   
6. Ain't it good, ain't it right that you are with me here tonight? The music playin', our bodies swayin' in time. (In time, in time, in time.)
   
7. Sunday morning, up with the lark. I think I'll take a walk in the park. Hey hey hey, it's a beautiful day.
   
8. I gave you love. I thought that we had made it to the top. I gave you all I had to give. Why did it have to stop?
   

Music: Albums That Are Too Long

The AV Club had a recent piece on albums that would have made better EPs. I'm thinking of albums that were just one or two songs too long.

• My Morning Jacket, "It Still Moves" (even Pitchfork agrees)
  
• The Stone Roses, "Second Coming"
  
• Matthew Sweet, "Altered Beast"
  
• Spiritualized, "Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space" (should have stopped before "Cop Shoot Cop")
  
• Tindersticks, first and second albums (blasphemy, I know)
  
• Every Prince album after "Purple Rain"
  
• The Beatles, "White Album"?
  

Which albums are too short?

• Tindersticks' "Can Our Love.." 45 minutes, but only 8 tracks)
  
• Weezer, the Green album
  
• Every country album ever made
  

YouTube: Haughty Speak-Singing Females

Earworms The Size Of Texas has a YouTube video of Charlotte Gainsbourg "singing" with Air on French TV.

If you like haughty vocalists who speak-sing their songs, you probably liked "The Facts Of Life" by Black Box Recorder.

Here's BBR's Sarah Nixey solo, covering the Human League.

Sexy sisters The Pierces have perfected that bored voice, and did I mention they're sexy sisters?

And here's the original of the species, the Flying Lizards.

Another pioneer of this vocal style was Cristina - here's audio only of her version of "Is That All There Is?" ("he beat me black and blue and I loved it"). And here's her Christmas classic, "Things Fall Apart"

Music: Ukulele

Who doesn't love the sound of a ukulele? (Name comes from the Hawaiian for "jumping flea".)

YouTube has lots of videos by UK uke duo, the Re-entrants, including Cameo's "Word Up".

Here's a dude playing the "Star Wars" theme on his ukulele.

Ukulele virtuoso Jake Shimabukuro is about as far as you can get from George Formby (although George played a banjo ukulele).

The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain doing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Life On Mars" (including, appropriately, "My Way" among other tunes).

If you like Jens Lekman or Jonathan Richman, you have to visit the MySpace page of Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele. He has a free EP for download, which includes a Prince cover.

Also try Bohemia Ukulele Band, a six-piece from Hastings. They have a lot of other ukulele friends, like Sweet Soubrette, Ukulele Girls (French girls doing "Gangsta Paradise"), Perrecy (German guy doing Smiths covers in German, like "Dieser Charmante Mann").

You can learn to play online at Pineapple Pete's Uke School.

Hoax: Fecal Matter Drug?

Are kids getting high from fermented sewage? Snopes says the "Jenkem" story is "undetermined". (And jeers to Snopes, by the way, for having pop-up ads.)

I just hope I'm not busted for running a drug lab, 'cause my shit is primo.

Music: MySpace

MySpace goodies

• Tacks, The Boy Disaster - Austin, TX band with a terrible name but a great sound. Recommended if you like Midlake, the Flaming Lips. (I was going to add Ben Folds, because of the prominent piano, and then found this Guardian piece compares them to "when Ben Folds Five did a Broadway musical-style version of Flaming Lips' She Don't Use Jelly".)
  
• ohbijou - yet another Canadian band with many members. Recommended by Chromewaves. For fans of Lisa Germano, Joanna Newsom, Hayden.
  
• A Girl Called Eddy - New Jersey girl living in England. Her album came out in 2004, so I'm really behind the times. Her MySpace bio boasts kudos from Nina Persson and Eric Carmen! Not a million miles from Aimee Mann.
  
• Bobb Trimble - Massachusetts artist from the early '80s whose albums are being reissued. See Guardian article for the full story. Not sure what all the fuss is about. Sounds like Russell Mael fronting Fleetwood Mac on downers.
  
• Julia Kent - NY cellist. Recommended if you like the cello.
  

Music: Nicole Atkins again

I posted about Nicole Atkins back in June. She delivered a knockout performance on "Letterman" last night, and INDIEBLOGHEAVEN has it. She reminds me (physically) of a cross between Cat Power and Amy Winehouse. Play the "jukebox" at her website.

Here she accompanies herself on an acoustic guitar (with some fancy stockings).

She joined Peter, Bjorn & John for "Young Folks", filling in for Victoria Bergsman.

Apparently, she recorded a track with UK band Soulsavers but it didn't end up on their album. Listen to "Revival" at their MySpace, with Mark Lanegan on vocals.

I just wish I hadn't found her American Express ad.

Lyrics Quiz: Snakes

Celebrate Whacking Day belatedly (it's May 10th) by taking this quiz.

1. Jodie wears a hat, although it hasn't rained for six days. She says a girl needs a gun these days, hey, on account of all the rattlesnakes.
   
2. Wiggle like a snake, wobble like a duck.
   
3. ...Where snakes in the grass are absolutely free.
   
4. That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane.
   
5. You're looking good, just like a snake in the grass. One of these days you're gonna break your glass.
   
6. Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad, from a worn out picture that my mother had, and I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
   
7. You’re boned like a saint, with the conciousness of a snake.
   
8. The snake is long, seven miles. Ride the snake. He's old, and his skin is cold.
   
9. Yeah, I've got a tombstone hand in a graveyard mine. Just twenty-two, baby, I don't mind dying. Snakeskin shoes, baby. Put them on your feet. Got the goodtime music and the Bo Diddley beat.
   
10. Sister got bit by a copperhead snake in the woods behind the house. Nobody was home so I grabbed her foot and I sucked that poison out. Sister got better in a month or two when the swelling, it went down. But I'd started out my teenage years with that poison in my mouth.
    

TV: "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

The New Yorker reports that Larry David's HBO show is a helpful therapy tool for schizophrenic patients. Also, there's a cartoon about home schooling.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" quotes. "With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect."

Here's a clip from a Danish series "inspired" by "CYE". Their language is different from our language! LMAO!

Internet: City Of Grapevine GIS

The city of Grapevine, TX has a pretty neat Geographic Information System that allows you to see the ownership and zoning for every parcel of land in the city. And if you look at the intersection of Kimball and 114, you'll see a very clear image of a jet plane flying by. Could it be fake, added by a bored web designer? If so, they went to the trouble of adding a shadow.

YouTube: "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side"

• The Smiths (introduced by Ivor Cutler)
  
• Mimed to on "Blackpool" (remade for US TV as "Viva Laughlin")
  
• Morrissey, live in Las Vegas, 2007
  
• Cute girl with guitar
  
• Brazilian group with gamine Fernanda Takai on vocals
  
• Hong Kong band
  
• Smiths tribute band, playing an English pub in Brazil
  

Idaho: Phantom Pooper

From Defamer, someone is pooping on the streets of Idaho Falls (and finger-painting). Could it be Whoopi (tired of her remote control toilet)? Or Idaho senator Larry Craig, paranoid about using public bathrooms?

Books: Harry Potter

Eric reports that JK Rowling has "outed" Albus Dumbledore from her popular Larry Kotter books.

We should have known something was up from the anagrams of his name: Aroused Dumbbell, A Bulbous Meddler, Bad Lube Smoulder, A Sore Bum - Dull Bed.

One blogger is having trouble accepting the news, but a commenter says: "the gayness of a male character is always narratively compatible when a book is set in an English boarding school."

Gadgetopia reports on the Wikipedia "war" over Dumbledore's entry.

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

I was going to get myself a shower caddy, but then I thought, how often do I play golf in my shower?

Movies: "Finding t.A.T.u."

Idolator reports (in the wtf category) that they're making a t.A.T.u. movie. "Finding t.A.T.U. is directed by Roland Jaffe, who previously gave us "The Killing Fields" and "The Mission". It stars Mischa Barton, who, while of limited range, could surely have landed a better movie than this. Is she drawn to lesbian roles for some reason?

But who could have guessed that t.A.T.u. would extend their 15 minutes?

YouTube: Will Oldham

• Will Oldham covers Mariah Carey.
  
• Duet on "Kiss" by Scout Niblett.
  
• Johnny Cash covers "I See A Darkness" (with Will on BV).
  
• Bonnie 'Prince' Billy on Conan O'Brien.
  
• With Danish band Homesick Hank.
  
• Cameo in R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet (Ch. 15)" (at the 5:20 mark).
  
• Performing "Goodbye Dear Old Stepstone" by some old folkie.
  
• Long concert with Matt Sweeney.
  
• Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham in a Kanye West video (?)
  

Not bad for a baldy.

Iowa: Ottumwa

Mark Davis has an article in the Dallas Morning News decrying the disproportionate importance of Iowa and New Hampshire in the presidential election process. As an aside, he notes that candidates he has interviewed "are always in a rush to wrap things up so they can get on the horn with Joe Bob from the Ottumwa Courier."

Here's another negative article.

I'm so tired of all this Ottumwa bashing. Sure, it was the birthplace of Tom Arnold but they have apologized for this. Repeatedly.

Hey, Ottumwa is the "Video Game Capital Of The World" (or was in 1982).

Music: 12-Tone System

There's an article in the NY Times about Schoenberg and the 12-Tone System. The best part is the accompanying video where the writer, Anthony Tommasini, demonstrates the concepts on the piano.

The Peabody Symphony Orchestra has some Schoenberg available for free download.

Music: Glossary

A band called Glossary have made their album available as a free download. Recommended for fans of Whiskeytown. I was also going to compare them to a gentler Dinosaur Jr, but I'd be accused of pulling a Robb.

Hoax: UFO

Article from the OC Register about a Californian who flies a remote control UFO around Orange County. You can buy one for $1000.

Here is the YouTube video mentioned in the article.

A company called Silverlit makes a cheaper alternative. Here's a similar one with a camera on board.

And here's a video of a girl in bra and panties who makes a cup and saucer float. Just one in a series of videos from this lingerie-clad lovely.

Lyrics Quiz: Doors

1. If you didn't come to party, don't bother knockin' on my door.
   
2. From your front porch to my front seat. The door's open but the ride it ain't free.
   
3. I've packed my bags. Cleaned the floor. Watch me walking, walking out the door.
   
4. Then the door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew, and then disappeared.
   
5. Up the staircase to the first floor. Turn the key and slowly unlock the door, as a man breathes into his saxophone.
   
6. I caught you knockin' at my cellar door. I love you, baby, can I have some more?
   
7. All the doors I closed one time, will open up again.
   
8. And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, hey, why not ask for more?
   
9. Light the candle. Put the lock upon the door. You have sent the maid home early, like a thousand times before.
   
10. Close your eyes, close the door, you don't have to worry any more.
    

And for those beginners who prefer songs with the theme word in the title:

1. Mama, take this badge off of me. I can't use it anymore.
   
2. You men eat your dinner, eat your pork and beans. I eat more chicken than any man ever seen.
   
3. Don't know why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go. I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't want to know.
   
4. Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band. Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon? Doo, doo doo.
   
5. My baby makes me proud. Lord, don't she make me proud. She never makes a scene by hanging all over me in a crowd.
   

Sports: Baseball Manager Quiz

1. Which baseball manager holds the record for most ejections (set in 2007)?
   
2. In 1998, Barry Bonds became the fifth player to be given an Intentional Base On Balls with the bases loaded. Who was the opposing manager?
   
3. Who was the last player-manager in Major League Baseball?
   
4. The Texas Rangers had 4 managers in 1977, including one who lasted just one game. Can you name all four?
   
5. Match the manager to the quote:
   

   (a) Tommy Lasorda	(1) "Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa."
   (b) Leo Durocher	(2) "The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers."
   (c) Casey Stengel	(3) "I made a game effort to argue but two things were against me; the umpires and the rules."
   (d) Earl Weaver	(4) "He (Darryl Strawberry) is not a dog; a dog is loyal and runs after balls."

   
   

Bonus: Earl Weaver's profanity-laced "Manager's Corner". (Apparently, it was pre-taped and never aired.)

Music: Radiohead

So, Radiohead are releasing a new album, and you can name your own price for the digital version. Being a cheap bastard, I offered 0.00 and was accepted. (The Idolator story says the minimum is 0.01, plus a 0.45 surcharge, but commenters got the same deal I did. We'll see what happens on 10/10.)

My God, that Tom Yorke is full of crap, with his links to Anarchist websites, artsy photographs, anti-aviation campaigns, and his silly doodles. But Line Rider is a great time-waster. (Watch some of the movies first.)

Politics: Yulia Tymoshenko

Wonkette spotlights the World's Hottest PMILF, the former Prime Minister of Ukraine, Yulia Tymoshenko. She sure has a lot of photos of herself on her website. I like the one of her with "Madlen Olbrite". She's very proud that her trademark hairdo has been copied by "Kylie Minoug", "Siena Miller" and "Mary J Blidge". And I agree with her statement: "For the last months of election it was a lot of filth poured out in a country, a lot of touchy, a lot of offensive, miserable and wrong words are said."

Her daughter is married to an English rocker, lead singer for Death Valley Screamers. She "was captivated by his waist-length hair and the giant tattoo on his torso depicting an alien crawling out of his belly."

Music: Something Happens

Irish band Something Happens on YouTube:

• "Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello" live, 1989
  
• Live at the SFX, 1989 (part 1/4)
  
• "Parachute" on Irish TV, c. 1990
  
• "Veronica Mars" montage, set to "Momentary Thing", which was used on the show
  
• "Parachute" on Irish TV, 2006
  
• Tom Dunne on Podge and Rodge
  

P.S. Tribute band Tizz Lizzy on Podge & Rodge.

Photography: Jill Greenberg

Cute pictures of monkeys by Jill Greenberg, from those pinkos at the New Republic. I guess they're manipulated photos. And she makes children cry.

Religion: Hinduism

Is there any phrase more delightful than "army of monkeys"? Hindus are protesting a shipping canal in India because it will destroy a "a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys".

Football: Pool

If you'd like to take part in an NFL pick 'em pool, head over to Enterpool. You can join a public league, or start your own. Completely free.

Photoshop: Partial Face Transplants

Freaking News has the results of a Partial Face Transplants Photoshop contest, where entrants were asked to combine the left half of one famous face with the right half of another. I particularly like the Queen/Elton John combo. Try to guess who the celebs are before looking at the captions. (Apart from the Queen/Elton John one, which I've just ruined for you.)

Worth1000 had Evil Celebrity Clowns.

Meanwhile, Something Awful has Grindhouse Breakfast Cereals.

And if you want to appear happier in your photos, look to the left.

Beverages: Guinness

Put these countries in order of Guinness consumption: Ireland, Great Britain, Nigeria. (Answer)

YouTube: Stevie Riks

British musical impressionist Stevie Riks has a wealth of material on YouTube. Some highlights:

• Alvin Stardust (including the line "You must be out of your tiny minds" from his Green Cross Code ad)
  
• Barry Gibb and Christopher Walken (with Ian McNabb out of the Icicle Works - really! - as Walken)
  
• Gilbert O'Sullivan
  
• David Bowie singing Simon & Garfunkle - probably his best impression
  
• Elvis Costello
  
• Marc Bolan
  
• Freddy Mercury, window cleaner
  
• Miscellaneous shape-throwers
  

Music: Who Are You 2

Robb adds the National: "I'm the new blue blood, I'm the Great White Hope. I won't fuck us over, I'm Mr. November." (MP3 here.)

Which reminds me of the Killers, "Open up my eager eyes, 'cause I'm Mr. Brightside." Coincidentally, there's a great cover by Paul Anka.

Internet: Moan My IP

Want to hear a sexy voice moaning your IP address? MoanMyIP.com is for you.

Music: Wilco In Swedish

Nice, slow, live Swedish cover of Wilco's "Jesus Etc.". Using this online translator, going from English to Swedish and back again, "turning your orbit around" becomes "phrases your banana around".

Music: Who Are You?

I'm looking for songs in which an introduction is made. A name or nickname must be present. Contractions are okay. First, second or third person is valid. Metaphors and similes are invalid.

Acceptable: I am the Walrus (valid only if "the Walrus" is an authorized nickname)
Rejectable: He's a real nowhere man
Acceptable: I am Iron Man
Rejectable: I'm a real wild one
Rejectable: We're the kids of America
Rejectable: Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste
Rejectable: We are the World (metaphors not allowed)

Robb has unearthed a good one.
"My name is Sue" A BOY NAMED SUE by Johnny Cash

Here's an obvious entry:
"My name is...Slim Shady" MY NAME IS by Eminem

Animals: Camels

Shell brought this news story to my attention: "Australian woman killed by pet camel". The camel "knocked her to the ground then lay on top of her in what police suspect was mating behavior". The Sun, predictably, uses the headline "60-year-old humped to death". The victim, according to The Courier-Mail was a "jillaroo".

Back in April, a Florida woman was also killed by a pet camel. They were "being filmed by a local television station on Sunday when the camel kicked her and sat on her during a break in filming".

How long before Stephen Colbert replaces bears with camels on the Threatdown?

Music: Gingerbread Patriots

Gingerbread Patriots claim they sound like "rice crispies popping. not the first fierce ones but the soggier ones that suprise you because you thought they had all long since drowned" (sic) but they actually sound like Grandaddy. Listen to "Donna Mills" and tell me I'm wrong.

By the way, can we declare a moratorium on songs named after actors and actresses? "Michael Caine" (Madness, 1984). "Julie Christie" (Stephen Duffy, 1986). "Julie Christie!" (Spearmint, 2005). "Tom Courtenay" (Yo La Tengo, 1995). "Peter Lorre" (The Jazz Butcher, 1986). "Clint Eastwood" (Gorillaz, 2001).

(I'm talking about song titles that consist of only the actor's name - so "Robert DeNiro's Waiting" or "Gonna Dig Up Alec Guinness don't count.)

Still, I like the Gingerbread Patriots, if only for their self-description as "evenly statured", with a horizontal line on their photo to prove it. And their slowed-down cover of When In Rome's "The Promise" is nice.

Wedding Receptions: Newman-Simpson

Now this sounds like a great wedding reception: A.C. Newman of the New Pornographers and Christy Simpson of Matador Records. And a great quote from the groom: "That’s love, wanting the same person to win on a reality show."

YouTube: Soundboard Pranks

I'd never heard of these "soundboard pranks", but there sure are a lot of them on YouTube. This Judge Judy one made me laugh - there's something about the repetition of "Judge Judy" asking the poor bill collector, "How old are you?", that is very, very funny. Too bad you really can't hear the bill collector.

Here's a teenage boy using Dr. Phil when an angry mother calls to complain about him putting dirty pictures on her daughter's MySpace.

If you want to make your own prank calls, here's a Christopher Walken soundboard.

Music: Rhyming Artist/Song

Thinking caps on. Can you name an artist or band whose name rhymes with their best known song?

I've just got one to start you off: "Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul..."

Music: Christian Kjellvander

Charming video of Swedish singer-songwriter Christian Kjellvander playing a song on a banjo in his car, with birdsong in the background. Was it really filmed on a cellphone? Seems awfully good quality.

YouTube has more of his videos, including "Drunken Hands", "Drag The Dirt In", and "Days Of Black (Nights Are Lights)" by his old band, Loosegoats. (The Loosegoats early EP, "Small Lesbian Baseball Players", shows up on a web store that specialises in baseball-related items.)

(Via swedesplease, purveyors of the best in Swedish music.)

Album Covers: Children 2

Robb says I blew it by leaving out "Ceremony" by The Cult. "The band was sued for US$61,000,000 by the parents of the American Indian boy, named Eternity Dubray, pictured on the album cover."

A poet named Robert references the child in his poem "Freedom":

Eternity Dubray ceremony child
Did you get the green leaves? Did the (sic) last your parents and family a while?

The poem ends: "Rock music is sexy…"

I don't know if he got the green leaves (the $60 mil?), but apparently he graduated last year with a "One Year Certificate in Entrepreneurs". (The first name on the list is "Afraid of Lighting, Trivia D." - what an awesome name.)

And he contributes to the Dems.

Album Covers: Children

Whither the children who graced the album covers of yore?

The baby on Nirvana's "Nevermind" is Spencer Elden. He's 16 now, and has appeared on another album cover.

The boy on the cover of U2's "Boy" and "War" albums (and a slew of other U2 releases) is Peter Rowan, who is now a professional photographer. (He spells his name "Rowen" to avoid confusion with a bluegrass musician.)

The Rave-Ups' album "Chance" had a picture of the lead singer's son, Chance. Chance is the nephew of Molly Ringwald, and therefore the grandson of jazz pianist Bob Ringwald, who has a newer photo. Here is a letter the father wrote for his infant son. I really enjoy that album.

The most controversial child on an album cover has to be the girl on the cover of "Blind Faith", the self-titled album by the Eric Clapton/Ginger Baker/Steve Winwood/Ric Grech (who?) supergroup. She is now (if we can trust the internet) a massage therapist and shiatsu practitioner.

Sadly, the little angel on the cover of Van Halen's 1984 died in 1997 from lung cancer.

Music Video: Bat For Lashes

As seen on You Ain't No Picasso, a great video for Bat For Lashes.

YANP also has a piece on Melora Hardin, who plays Steve Carell's sometime love interest on the US version of "The Office", and is also a singer. There's an MP3 for "Dial O On The Little Pink Telephone".

Music: A Camp

Great news out of Sweden! Nina Persson is making a new A Camp album! Not sure about the shift away from the country sound, but the Adam Ant influence could be interesting.

Sports: Appropriate Names

The baseball trade deadline brought some sport-appropriate names. I never thought of Eric Gagne until the Rangers traded him to Boston. He should really play in Montreal (his hometown), where they would appreciate that "gagner" is the French for "to win".

The Yankees acquired Wilson Betemit. He should do an ad for Wilson gloves, saying, "It's a better mitt."

And how come no one ever suggested Dave Winfield? His surname can be read as "win" + "field", or "W" + "infield". Did you know he's one of two players to be drafted by three different pro sports (and a fourth as a publicity stunt)?

New Ranger Neftali Feliz doesn't have an appropriate name (I think), but I propose we call him "Netflix". (I like how Baseball Prospectus shows an image that says, "We don't have a picture of this guy", with an "alt" tag of "He's probably very handsome".)

But the Rangers' biggest coup was getting the player with the longest surname in MLB history, Jarrod Saltalamacchia. The cameras caught him laughing with Kameron Loe in the dugout tonight about their discrepancy in name length. His name is an anagram of "Maharaja's Radical Clot".

Media: Weekly World News

The Weekly World News has ceased publication (but the website will remain). As Wikipedia states, the WWN was started to use the old black & white printing presses of the National Enquirer when it switched to colour. I'll miss seeing it at the supermaket checkout (although I only bought it once or twice). I never knew they had a financial column written by Sammy The Chatting Chimp ("Monkey Business"), or an advice column by Lester The Typing Horse ("Horse Sense").

And as for columnist Ed Anger, was he the inspiration for Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun?

TV: Embarrassing Interview

Squirm-inducing interview with Holly Hunter by Dallas' own Merry Miller.

Advertising: 12 Kinds Of Ads

There's a good Slate article and slideshow about the "12 kinds of ads" proposed by ad man Donald Gunn. One of the examples cited (Chris, take note) is the football-through-a-tire ad for Levitra.

MP3: Holly Golightly

Go to the Daily Blizzard and pick up some MP3s from Holly Golightly and the Brokeoffs. The first track, "Devil Do", is a lovely stomp. Holly once sang on a White Stripes song, "I love Jack White like a little brother"

Music: Mash-up

Brilliant Portishead/Cher mash-up from Idolator.

Or try The Cure vs Missy Elliot.

Here's a mash-up "how to" from an elderly woman.

If you prefer video mash-ups, here's a "Toy Story 2"/"Requiem For A Dream" mash-up.

Music: Son Volt

That's Son Volt singing "Hello Goodbye" in ESPN's David Beckham commercial. Meanwhile, Beckham remains a game time decision for his ballyhooed US debut.

Music: Mono In VCF

MONO IN VCF have a great sound (and Terry Jacks helped with their unreleased album). Not sure about the band name. Apparently, VCF is a synth term. (Recommended by Torr.)

In a completely different style, I recommend The Bees, who are known as A Band Of Bees in the US. (What? Was The Bees U.K. also taken?) Sunny Caribbean sound, but then they are from the Isle of Wight.

Marketing: Chalk Homer

Brilliant marketing stunt for "The Simpsons Movie": they've painted a picture of Homer beside the Cerne Abbas giant in Dorset. (That's the pagan figure with the rather large member. It looks like Homer is trying to play ring toss with a donut.)

The photo looks a little too perfect. Rarb, can your family in Dorset confirm that it's really there?

Photography: Lady Bird Johnson Funeral

Please take a moment to look at this photo (by David J. Philip) of former Presidents and First Ladies at Lady Bird Johnson's funeral. Tell me that Bill Clinton isn't thinking, "LBJ gets 'Lady Bird'. I get stuck with 'Dragon Lady'."

Actors: Bill Paxton

Something Awful pays tribute to Bill Paxton, noting that he is "the only person to have been killed by a Terminator, a Predator, an Alien, and Pat Benatar". And adding, defensively, "Yes, Bill Paxton starred in the Thunderbirds movie in 2004. Did you see it? No? Then don't try to mock him for it. Maybe it was the best movie ever, you asshole."

Lyrics Quiz: Strange

Fancy a bit of "Strange"? (This quiz and that quote were RB's idea.)

1. All across the nation - such a strange vibration.
   
2. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
   
3. All these strange relationships really get me down. I see nothin' wrong with spreading myself around.
   
4. And in the darkened underpass, I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last." But then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask.
   
5. ...Strange highs and strange lows...
   
6. Strange voices are saying. (What did they say?) Things I can't understand.
   
7. Any girl in the world could have easily known me better. She said, "You're strange but don't change," and I let her.
   
8. Strange days indeed. Most peculiar, mama.
   
9. Strange fascination, fascinating me.
   
10. When your world is full of strange arrangements, and gravity won't pull you through.
    
11. Ain't it funny, ain't it strange, the way a man's opinion changes when he starts to face that lonely night.
    
12. We're sailing on a strange sea, blown by a strange wind, carrying the strangest crew that ever sinned.
    

Music: Mixed Messages

Eric suggests a new category: "bands that have two songs with opposite messages". He gives two examples:

1. The Beatles - "Can't Buy Me Love" ("I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love") and "Money" ("You're lovin' gives me a thrill. But you're lovin' don't pay my bills. Now give me money").
   
2. Lynyrd Skynyrd - "Saturday Night Special" ("so why don't we dump them (guns), people, to the bottom of the sea, before some old fool come around here wanna shoot either you or me"), and "Gimme Back My Bullets" ("Gimme back, gimme back my bullets. Oh put 'em back where they belong").
   

How about U2 with "Love Is Blindness" and ("ain't love") "The Sweetest Thing"? I'm sure there are many other artists with songs that extol the pleaure and pain of love.

Lou Reed had a song called "Sheltered Life" ("I've never taken dope and I've never taken drugs"), and about a hundred other songs that suggest the opposite ("Heroin", "Waiting For The Man", "White Light, White Heat", "Kicks"...)

Any others?

Media: Chicago TV Reporter

Could someone please set this video to "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"?

Lyrics Quiz: Mystery Theme 3

Eric offers this Lyrics Quiz, and dryly notes: "For some reason I thought of this theme recently." He adds a warning: "There's one band with two entries."

1. When the sun shines, they slip into the shade, and sip their lemonade. When the sun shines...when the sun...shines.
   
2. Oh no, my love's at an end. Oh no, it's...
   
3. I went down Virginia, seekin' shelter from the storm. Caught up in the fable, I watched the tower grow. Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains. And I wonder, still I wonder...
   
4. I can't sleep, and I lay and I think. The night is hot, and black as ink. Oh God, I need a drink...
   
5. Someone told me long ago. There's a calm before the storm, I know; it's been comin' for some time.
   
6. Now I know the secret; there is nothing that I lack. If I give my love to you, you'll surely give it back.
   
7. Well there's a light in your eye that keeps shining, like a star that can't wait for the night. I hate to think I've been blinded baby, why can't I see you tonight?
   
8. Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun. Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around. Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line, to talk about things to come. Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
   

Lookalikes: John Turturro as Billy Martin

In the new ESPN mini-series, "The Bronx Is Burning", John Turturro is fitted with prosthetic ears to play Billy Martin. Is it just me, or does he look like the Late Night character, Preparation H Raymond?

Doesn't look much like Billy Martin, from what I can see.

Music Video: Ironic Rap Covers

Under The Covers discusses "Ironic rap covers vs. unironic rap covers".

• Alanis Morissette, "My Humps" (The Black Eyed Peas)
  
• The Gourds, "Gin And Juice" (Snoop Dogg)
  
• Nina Gordon, "Straight Outta Compton" (N.W.A. - still the best cover, IMO)
  
• Ben Folds, "Bitches Ain't Shit" (Dr. Dre, this just sounds sordid to me)
  
• Jill Sobule, "Hot In Herre" (Nelly, live with her Mom)
  
• Richard Cheese, "Milkshake" (Kelis)
  

Music: Old Men

You know what's hot in music right now? Geezers.

• 58-year-old Nick Lowe has released the aptly-titled "At My Age", an "utterly fantastic sad-sack country record" (Village Voice). It gets 83 on Metacritic. (Listen to "The Club") And he recently became a father for the first time, telling The A.V. Club, "But he's a lovely fellow. He might be a blooming nuisance, but he is a lovely fellow."
  
• 61-year-old Bryan Ferry has released his album of Dylan covers, "Dylanesque". (70 on Metacritic.) And he gave a great performance of "Let's Stick Together" at that Princess Di concert. Although a tad inappropriate considering her (and his) marital history.
  
• 80-year-old (on Saturday) country music legend Charlie Louvin has released a self-titled album. It's one of those round-up-the-guest-stars deals (including bloody Elvis Costello - does he ever say "no"?), but it's still a solid record. Although Charlie's voice is worn, it still packs an emotional punch.
  
• 60-year-old John Prine and 82-year-old Mac Wiseman have recorded an outstanding record of duets, "Standard Songs For Average People".
  

Lyrics Quiz: 4th of July

1. A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam's, born on the Fourth of July.
   
2. Funny days in the park. Every day's the Fourth of July.
   
3. Today's the Fourth of July. Another June has gone by. And when they light up our town, I just think, what a waste of gunpowder and sky.
   
4. Who fell into you at a quarter to two, with a tear in your eye for the Fourth of July, for the patriots and the Minutemen, and the things you believe they believed in then.
   
5. Sandy, the fireworks are hailin' over Little Eden tonight. Forcin' a light into all those stoned-out faces left stranded on this Fourth of July. Down in town, the circuit's full with switchblade lovers so fast, so shiny, so sharp. And the wizards play down on Pinball Way on the boardwalk way past dark.
   
6. On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone. The Mexican kids are shooting fireworks below. Hey, baby, it's the Fourth of July.
   
7. I stayed at home on the Fourth of July, and I pulled the shades so I didn't have to see the sky. And I decided to have a Bed-In. But I forgot to invite anybody.
   
8. Well she lit up the sky, that Fourth of July. By the time the firemen come, they
   just put out the flames and took down some names and send me to the county home.
   

Lookalikes: Chris Farley Baby

The Chris Farley lookalike baby. It's sad, but you'll laugh. (As seen on Defamer.)

Musique: Mareva Galanter

Stumbled across a post on Between Thought And Expression that mentioned Mareva Galanter. It was the part about "former Miss France (and Shannon Elizabeth look-alike)" that got my attention. And yes, she's a looker. She's also a singer.

You must visit the official website for her album, "Ukuyéyé". Very well-designed, in a '60s Op-Art style. The last link on the middle row is the video for "Pourquoi Pas Moi?". The last link on the bottom row is for six "Scopitone" videos (apparently, a 16mm film jukebox). All are worth watching.

Music: Letterman

Bryan Ferry covering "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" on Letterman.

From the following night, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals play "Two". There's a bonus performance of "I Taught Myself How To Grow Old" at the CBS web site. (Thanks to Zoe for the heads-up.)

From earlier this year, Elvis Perkins sings "While You Were Sleeping" (and borrows the Talking Heads trick of the band members joining one by one).

Moving back in time, Natalie Merchant doing "Because The Night". (I love the comment, "Its so weird.....I'd love to bone her but she's not supermodel sexy. Its something else....I just cant figure it out.....kinda like a home economics teacher doing a striptease or something ;-)").

From 1983, Talking Heads and "I Zimbra".

And finally, Andy Kaufman singing "Rosemarie".

Celebrities: John Stamos

John Stamos slurring in an Australian press interview, and then on Australian TV. That's some jet lag.

Did you know that Rebecca Romijn's mother is a member of the Simplified Spelling Society?