Patanoia

A Feeble Attempt At Humour

2010-03-06T21:34:00.002-06:00

My eldest child is given to setting impossibly convoluted puzzles for me to solve. (We think he may be slightly autistic.) One of his favourites is to give a crossword-style clue for a word, along with the "weight" of the answer. (Each "a" is worth one ounce, "b" two ounces and so on.) This morning over breakfast, he tested me with "The carcass of a dead animal, four pounds and fourteen ounces." I thought for a moment before replying, "'Carrion', my weigh-word son."

Lyrics Quiz: Mystery Theme

2010-02-06T13:51:00.004-06:00

This one comes from Eric, who obviously has a lot of time on his hands. So how come he doesn't have his own blog, huh? Anyway, name the 9 artists and songs - and then identify who comes next.

"So I took a big chance at the high school dance, with a missy who was ready to play."
"I see the dust cloud disappear, without a trace."
"A year has passed since I wrote my note, but I should have known this right from the start."
"Are you feeling me? Let's do something. Let's make a bet, 'cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song."
"But if this ever-changing world in which we live in."
"Well he can't be a man, 'cause he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me."
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life."
"Me and Del were singing, 'Little Runaway'."
"I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it, but I probably will."

Sports: American Football

2009-11-27T09:22:00.003-06:00

After watching three games, I have some suggestions to improve American Football. A copy will be sent to the Commissioner of the NFL.

Increase the value of the "2-Point Conversion". You've just scored 6 points for a touchdown. Now, you try to do it again - but only get 2 points? That makes no sense. No wonder teams only try the 2-point conversion when they're desperate. Make it 3 points and now you've got some very interesting decisions!
Run, Throw or Punt. What's the most exciting play in Football? The punt return. Let's give the Offense an extra option - the quarterback can punt the ball. Whoever catches the ball, keeps it. This will revolutionise the game.
Negative Yards. What's the least exciting play in Football? When a Running Back gets stopped at the line of scrimmage because he foolishly runs into a pile of big fat men. Let's penalize teams for these plays that go nowhere. If you only gain 2 yards, you're sent back to the line of scrimmage (so you've just lost a Down for nothing). If you gain one yard, you're pushed back 2 yards from where you started. If you gain zero, you lose 4 yards. This guarantees we'll see more throwing (or punting).
No Injury Timeouts. There are too many timeouts anyway. Let's scrap them when a player is down and can't get off the field. Just throw some temporary barricades around the player and the medical staff. This area is off-limits to both teams until the player can be stretchered off at the next (real) timeout.
Better Names. Every team must have at least one player with a Football-appropriate name.
Real Grass. All stadia (even indoor ones) must use real turf - until they come up with an artificial turf that can break apart into clumps that stick in players' helmets. That is always so cool.
Coors Light Ads. Those ads that edit actors in with actual coaches' press conferences? They can only use the Romeo Crennel ones. The others are too mean, but Romeo is so jolly, he seems to be in on the joke.

TV: "The X Factor"

2009-11-22T20:56:00.004-06:00

What an awful week for Ireland! First, cheater Thierry Henry cheats us out of the 2010 World Cup by cheating. Then he runs onstage during Jedward's performance on the X Factor live show, causing them to be eliminated. Shame on you, Thierry Henry!

Please sign the petition asking ITV to re-run the show. It's the only fair way to resolve this. We're having a march in Clones on Friday. Tell all your friends.

Radio: KXT 91.7

2009-11-15T13:09:00.004-06:00

I've been analyzing the playlists at KXT after their first work week and I see a disturbing trend. (And it's not that I have too much time on my hands.)

But first, I want to talk about the timing of their launch. Is it a coincidence that they waited until after the KERA Fall pledge drive was complete? I can imagine some potential Public Radio donors would say, "Wait a minute, if the parent company of KERA can afford to set up a sister station during an economic downturn, do they really need my $60 in exchange for a Diane Rehm Tongue Depressor?" Man, you really miss Al Brumley at a time like this.

Back to KXT. (Not KTX, or KXTX, and it's at 91.7, not 97.1 - and that's from one of their own DJs. This station is a nightmare for DFW dyslexics.)

KXT describes itself as "an incredible selection of acoustic, alt-country, indie rock, alternative and world music, hand-picked just for you - the real music fan." That sounds great - right up my alley. So I set my alarm for 6:59am on 11/9 to hear the station premiere with...Santana's "She's Not There". That song (as fine as it is) does not fit into any of KXT's self-proclaimed categories. After all the time they had to prepare, that was the best they could come up with?

Robert Wilonsky at Unfair Park was being polite when he called it "probably a little too classic-rock for a new-station kick-off". Pete Freedman at the same blog expressed his incredulity: "Explain that to me. Please." But hey, Steve Blow liked it, so I guess that's okay.

Later that first morning, KXT played Queen's "Somebody To Love" (this after Van Morrison, Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix had already been played). Why is this station playing "Classic Rock" when we already have radio stations that play that stuff?

I saw a comment praising KXT for playing the Stranglers' "Golden Brown", and yes, it was good to hear it. But it made me realise that "Golden Brown" is my generation's version of Classic Rock. It's hypocritical to praise KXT for playing "Making Plans For Nigel" and then slam them for playing Paul McCartney and Wings. If you want Classic Indie, go to WOXY Vintage. (Thanks, Robb.)

The real problem is that KXT plays the same songs over and over again. ("Golden Brown" was played four times this week.)

There may be "joy in repetition" but there's no joy when you hear the same songs twice a day. There were 49 songs played twice in one day, and 4 songs played three times!

The most-played song was "Little Lovin'" by Illinois artist Lissie. It was played twice on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, and THREE TIMES on Wednesday and Friday. It's a catchy song, but it's no H1N1.

KXT loves Devendra Banhart. They played his "Baby" twice a day, every day. And they acknowledged he has released at least one other song. "Foolin'" was played twice.

The following songs also got got two plays per day, every day:

Jay Farrar and Benjamin Gibbard, "These Roads Don't Move"
Kings Of Leon, "Manhattan"
Matisyahu, "One Day"
Rhett Miller, "I Need To Know Where I Stand"

These are inoffensive songs (apart from the insipid Matisyahu song - it reminds of some fake reggae song that might have come out of Luxembourg in the '90s). Ingrid Michaelson with the horrible, "Grey's Anatomy"-ready "Maybe" just missed out on going 10-for-10.

KXT has a nasty habit of reducing everyone to "One Hit Wonders". I count 41 artists who were played three or more times, but had the SAME SONG played every single time. This includes artists with long careers and many albums to choose from: Bryan Ferry, Grant-Lee Phillips, Pearl Jam, Ray Davies, Rhett Miller, Rosanne Cash, Yo La Tengo.

Overall, KXT played about 647 tracks from Monday to Friday: 334 artists and 373 unique songs.

By the way, I didn't count the times that KXT played unscheduled excerpts from John Cage's "4' 33"".

As for the DJs, Gini Mascorro still seems a little nervous. And do I detect a little wheeziness in her voice? As an asthmatic, that makes me uncomfortable. I really hope she loses the habit of saying we just heard a "little bit of" some artist. This is technically untrue (unless she has been hitting the Def Leppard drummer's arm off the microphone). Joe Kozera seems altogether more at ease.

So what have we learned? I think Shell put it best: "The occasional classic rock song won't kill them. Having a rotation will ruin both them and the songs they overplay." KXT is definitely a good thing (especially for the exposure to local bands), but needs a LOT more variety to keep me listening.

Music: Tori Amos

2009-11-13T17:49:00.003-06:00

Who knew that Tori Amos had such boring taste in music? Her fantasy band would have Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar? Is that hack still going? Anyway, Tori should get back to what she does best: grinding her crotch into piano stools.

For what it's worth, my fantasy band would feature:

J.J. Cale on guitar and vocals
Robert Quine on second guitar
Gene Krupa on drums (and matchbox)
Bill Laswell on bass
Hilda Woodward (Lieutenant Pigeon) on piano
The brass section from Dexy's Midnight Runners
Bez (Happy Mondays) on maracas and dancing

Or you could just have Prince do everything.

TV: Midseason Replacement Shows

2009-11-12T16:40:00.003-06:00

Why are the midseason shows always better than the Fall shows?

"Briers' Remorse - genial English actor Richard Briers apologises for all the terrible, terrible things he's done through the years ("Spice World", this Polaroid commercial, killing a hobo).
"America's Next Top Hat" - young milliners compete to design a "Topper" that will make this headgear fashionable again.
"Camo Mile T" - contestants must catch Mr. T before he travels a mile-long course dressed in camouflage.
"Beck And Caul - arch-conservative Glenn Beck and ultra-liberal Simon Caul debate the issues of the day. (Need to find an ultra-liberal named Simon Caul first. Or Billy Caul. Or Cawl or McCaul.)
"Chippendale's Sketch Survivors" - Jan Hooks, Kevin Nealon and Mike Myers, as the last surviving cast members of the cursed comedy sketch, sit around waiting for the inevitable.
"Camo Meal T" - Mr. T tucks into a hearty three-course dinner dressed in camouflage.
"Jay @ 25" - NBC tries to save face by moving Leno's show to "25 o'clock", and explains that viewers need a special TV antenna and time-space continuum to watch it.

Soundalikes: Peter Gammons

2009-10-24T23:06:00.002-05:00

Anyone else think ESPN's Peter Gammons sounds like TBS's Buck Martinez?

Music: White Stripes rip-offs

2009-10-04T15:45:00.002-05:00

Have you seen the ad for the Honda Insight with the song that sounds like a parody of "We're Going To Be Friends"? Apparently, it's a band called Rabbit. (Google returns two other Rabbit bands, so I would think a name change would be in order - if I thought they had any future. I think this kid has more potential.)

This Magnum ice cream bar ad is a more obvious rip-off (this time of "My Doorbell").

On a happier note, here's the new video for The Dead Weather, "I Cut Like A Buffalo" - with a B. P. Fallon cameo! Truly the Zelig of rock & roll.

YouTube: Spiders

2009-09-28T20:27:00.002-05:00

Spider crawls over the Pope (but the cockraoch on his left cheek doesn't budge). Obama would have had that sucker.

Anchorwoman reports on fly that landed on her nose.

Reporter swallows fly and swears.

Music: Blacklist

2009-09-27T18:25:00.002-05:00

The Rich Girls Are Weeping recommend Blacklist - and I definitely hear the Cult and the Church in there.

More videos of Blacklist on YouTube, including one of them covering a band I'd never heard of, Asylum Party - definitely in the same zip code.

Speaking of the Church, Steve Kilbey has collaborated with fellow Aussie Martin Kennedy - the songs on MySpace sound great.

Advertising: AdSense

2009-08-20T23:03:00.002-05:00

Google's worst ads ever - when AdSense's contextual advertising misfires. The funniest is the non-Google "severed foot" one.

And this is old, but you can kill those sponsored links in Gmail by adding a few words about death and other tragedies.

Music: Storybook Lovesongs

2009-08-09T12:51:00.003-05:00

Prompted by the death of Willie DeVille:

Willie DeVille, "Storybook Love" (used in "The Princess Bride")
The Partridge Family, "Storybook Love" (they say that only a few hundred people heard the Partridge Family at the time, but every one of them started a TV show family band)
The Superbs, "Sorybook Of Love" (I had never heard of this sweet-sounding group)
The Triffids, "Fairytale Love" (sadly cut short, and set to incongruous, if not completely inappropriate, scenes from "Finding Neverland")
Sara Bareilles, "Fairytale" (inoffensive)
Alice In Chains, "Fairytale Love Story" (included for completeness)

At least three of these singers are dead now, so David Cassidy should be worried.

Art: Salvador Dali

2009-08-08T13:52:00.003-05:00

Salvador Dali on "What's My Line" - what a card! And Dali in three commercials.

Documentary (part 1 of 3) about Glasgow's acquisition of "Christ of St John of the Cross".

Trippy Dali-influenced video of uncertain provenance.

It reminds me of visiting the Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida with my parents. My mother dashed around the exhibition while I moved slowly from painting to painting. She came up to me and asked, "Do you think he was a bit mad?"

Film: John Hughes

2009-08-06T16:38:00.002-05:00

RIP, John Hughes. It does make you wonder if there was a curse on "National Lampoon's Vacation". First John Candy, then Imogene Coca and Eddie Bracken, and now writer John Hughes. Not to mention Chevy Chase's career.

Great scene from "Some Kind Of Wonderful", with the hottest tomboy in movie history. "Break his heart and I'll break your face."

Design: "I Can Read Movies"

2009-08-05T22:23:00.003-05:00

These fake retro book covers are fantastic.

Baseball: Improved Initials

2009-07-27T19:26:00.002-05:00

There's been something I've been meaning to blog all baseball season: the dumbness of the Texas Rangers' decision to have multiple uniform colours. I caught a bit of the St. Louis Cardinals on EPSN - 90% of the fans were wearing red to support their team. What a great sight. Then I flipped over to the Rangers game, where there was a mess of blues and reds (in among the burnt orange, khaki, yellow...) Pity the poor Rangers fan who wants to support his team and dons a blue shirt - only to find the team playing in their alternate red uniform.

But that's not why I'm here. There are some MLB players whose last name demands that they have a certain first initial. Sadly, in all cases, they have a less funny actual initial. Still, here's hoping they name their offspring appropriately, and raise them to follow in their footsteps.

Tampa Bay's Willy Aybar should be Gary Aybar - G. Aybar.
Detroit Tiger Brandon Inge should be Marlon Inge - M. Inge.
Rangers reliever Darren O'Day should be a Tom or Ted - T. O'Day.
L.A. Dodger James Loney should be B.A. Loney.
Chicago White Sock Jim Thome should be Albert Thome - A. Thome.

Honorable mention for Lyle Overbay for almost being "Loverboy".

Meteorology: Clouds

2009-06-28T16:31:00.002-05:00

Eerie "popcorn" clouds were seen in the NY skies this week - apparently, they're Mammatus clouds (and, yes, "mammatus" is from the same root as "mammary").

The Daily Mail has amazing photos of another new cloud formation, Asperatus clouds.

Check out Flickr for more photos of Mammatus and Asperatus clouds. I love this one. Ooh, I think I caught someone cheating on Flickr - here's one of those Daily Mail photos (by Ken Prior) being passed off as her own!

Music: Jim James

2009-06-27T13:48:00.002-05:00

Jim James of My Morning Jacket is going by the name Yim Yames for some side projects, including an album of George Harrison covers. You can download "Behind That Locked Door" in exchange for your email address. (You can also preview it on his site.) He is also in Monsters Of Folk, a supergroup with M. Ward, Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis.

Bonus: live cover of "The Rainbow Connection".

YouTube: Michael Jackson Covers

2009-06-27T12:15:00.002-05:00

Michael Jackson was a sad, twisted, horrible person, but we can still enjoy other people singing his songs.

And here's a playlist of all the songs, for your convenience.

Music: Songkick

2009-06-21T20:30:00.002-05:00

The New York Times had a piece on Songkick, a website that allows you to track your past (and upcoming) concerts. I dug out my diaries from 1988 and 1989 and started adding some that I attended. I couldn't believe how many "gigs" (as we used to call them) I went to when I was a lad. In 1989 alone, I saw Neil Young, Kelly Willis*, Cowboy Junkies, REM, Tanita Tikaram, the Go-Betweens, Jonathan Richman, the New Bohemians (with Steve Forbert supporting), the Cure and the Pixies. That's sick!

By the way, I added the Pixies for October 21, 1989. Someone else had added the Pixies for the same date in London. This fan page shows October 21 free, between London and Austin dates, so if they flew over in time for the Dallas concert, they must have been a little jet-lagged.

* Kelly Willis was lead singer for a group called Radio Ranch, who supported the Wagoneers.

Humour: John Hodgman

2009-06-20T19:39:00.003-05:00

John Hodgman roasts Barack Obama - good stuff. But get a load of those stony-faced Radio and Television Correspondents in the audience - what a shower of dullards.

Media: Sana Syed

2009-06-14T16:07:00.003-05:00

I saw a very cute reporter on Dallas-area CBS affiliate, KTVT, the other day - Sana Syed (watch the Six Flags bankruptcy video). Much as I enjoyed seeing her, it wasn't even close to the ecstacy experienced by this OKC blogger:

"There was so much beauty pouring out of her I didn’t know where to look...Her hair was on its game, gleaming like wet black silk, flowing down in Sana’s patented little S-curve as it hit her shoulders....Her skin was as beautiful as if someone had airbrushed her with a light caramel-colored satin. Her lipstick was exquisite."

Then again, he talks about all the female news people this way, gushing over their beauty and fashion. I'm guessing he has a well dug in his cellar, with a little news desk at the bottom. He lowers makeup in a bucket and says, "It puts on the eye shadow and it turns to Camera 3 to recap the headlines."

Methinks Sana got out of Oklahoma just in time.

MP3: Magnet Magazine

2009-06-13T22:45:00.004-05:00

Magnet Magazine has some great free MP3s:

Denmark's Choir Of Young Believers
Durham NC's Megafaun (great beards)
Former Grandaddy frontman Jason Lytle
Canadian "psych/folk duo" Lightning Dust
Telekinesis (compare "I See Lightning" to Liam Finn's "I'll Be Lightning")
Former dBs Peter Holsapple and Chris Stamey have reunited
Magnolia Electric Co.
Cub Country

Advertising: Photo Shenanigans

2009-06-11T22:02:00.003-05:00

Toronto city guide photoshops black guy's face into stock photo of what looks like a Latino family (and did it really badly too). This was caught by someone using TinEye, mentioned here recently. Toronto is still using the photo.

What is it with Canadian tourist boards and their lack of visual ethics? Recently, they were promoting Alberta with film of kids on an English beach. What makes it worse is that Alberta is landlocked.

Photography: 130 Megapixel Scanner Camera

2009-06-09T19:49:00.002-05:00

Camera built from old scanner and camera lens - I don't understand how it works, but very cool. Sample photos.

Media: Fox Business News

2009-06-08T17:08:00.003-05:00

Amusing clip of Fox Business "reporters" playing "pass the parcel" with breaking story none of them knows anything about. Expect a Daily Show parody tomorrow.

Music: Delays

2009-06-07T21:17:00.002-05:00

Pardon the, uh, delay, but may I recommend Delays? I usually don't like male singers with high-pitched voices, but I'll make an exception here. You may hear echoes of the La's, Fleetwood Mac, the Hollies, the Cocteau Twins, the Charlatans, the Posies..

Upon further review, I can only recommend these three videos from their first album ("Faded Seaside Glamour"). The later stuff is a bit too discoey for me.

Music: Rae Spoon

2009-06-06T11:24:00.002-05:00

Please just listen to the streaming album from Rae Spoon before doing any research on this Canadian artist.

Lyrics Quiz: We Are...

2009-05-27T22:23:00.000-05:00

"We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving."
"We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises, no demands."
"We are young, we run green. Keep our teeth nice and clean."
"We are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
"We are the goon squad and we're coming to town. Beep-beep. Beep-beep."
"We are stardust. We are golden. And we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."
"We are agents of the free. I've had my fun and now it's time to serve your conscience overseas."
"We are ugly but we have the music."
"We are, we are, we are but your children, finding our way around indecision. We are, we are, we are ever helpless. Take us forever."
"We're one, but we're not the same. Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again."
"We are flying down to Rio."
"We are the pretty petty thieves. And you're standing on our street."

Advertising: Stock Photo Models

2009-05-25T16:18:00.003-05:00

Funny/cute story about how a simple trip to the park when she was 19 resulted in this woman seeing her face all over the world. (Forgive her the spelling of "Spainard".) (And don't bother downloading the accompanying MP3 files. Wet Hair sucks.)

There is another ubiquitous model, the "Everywhere Girl", but she is an actress/model, so I don't think it's quite as interesting.

But that story does link to a search engine called TinEye, which allows you to search for websites that use an image - and it doesn't have to be an exact match. For example, I input the address of one version of the infamous Ruby shoots Oswald photo, and it found 7 others that were cropped differently. It also allows you to compare images, by toggling back and forth between overlays. A search with the James Brown mugshot found a version in black & white (that impressed me) and a version with Tom DeLay's face.

Bicycling: Boris Johnson Near-Miss

2009-05-23T18:53:00.003-05:00

This is an amazing accident caught on CCTV, never mind that the Mayor of London was almost killed.

Lyrics Quiz: Machines

2009-05-23T18:22:00.002-05:00

In honor of the new "Terminator" film, a lyrics quiz about Machines. Songs 10-12 have "Machine" in the title.

"Oh, can't you see me standing here? I've got my back against the record machine. I ain't the worst that you've seen."
"He likes to keep his fire engine clean, it’s a clean machine."
"I saw him dancing there by the record machine. I knew he must have been about seventeen."
"The Telex machine is kept so clean, and it types to a waiting world."
"She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean."
"Here comes Johnny Yen again, with the liquor and drugs and the flesh machine."
"Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground."
"The Rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night. And the Magic Rat drove his sleek machine over the Jersey state line."
"We got a thousand points of light for the homeless man. We got a kinder, gentler, machine gun hand."
"Get up (get on up). Get up (get on up). Stay on the scene (get on up)."
"You've been in the pipeline, filling in time, provided with toys and Scouting For Boys."
"I - I just took a ride in a ------ -------. And I'm still feeling mean."

Music: Saturday Mix

2009-05-16T17:22:00.004-05:00

The Oak Ridge Boys cover "Seven Nation Army" - not bad.
NPR is streaming "Dark Night Of The Soul", the new album by Danger Mouse, Sparklehorse and David Lynch, with guests including the Flaming Lips, Iggy Pop, Frank Black, Nina Persson, Jason Lytle, Suzanne Vega...sounds great, doesn't it? Unfortunately, EMI has blocked release of the album, so they're putting it out with a blank CD-R.
You can also listen to a Bat For Lashes session at NPR.
I missed this when it came out last October, but AC/DC made an Excel video to promote their latest album. You can download it here.
Evan Dando, "Knowing Me, Knowing You" (ABBA cover)
Pale Fountains, "Jean's Not Happening"
Compulsion, "Rapejacket"
Patti Smith, "Smells Like Teen Spirt" (Nirvana cover)
Marianne Faithfull, "The Crane Wife" (Decemberists cover)
Various musicians, "Crazy" (Gnarls Barkley cover, featuring two theramins)
Cat plays mini-theramin

Music: In Bb 2.0

2009-05-15T22:43:00.002-05:00

Very clever - in Bb 2.0, an array of 16 YouTube videos of various musicians playing in B flat. Start and stop each randomly. It's like the greatest Sigur Ros song ever!

Irish Politics: KildareStreet.com

2009-04-25T06:44:00.004-05:00

New web site (in Beta), Kildare Street.com, allows you to search Irish parliamentary debates (Dáil Éireann and the Seanad), among other things.

A search for "Jesus" found this gem during a debate on gambling legislation:

Dermot Ahern (Minister, Department of Justice, Equality and Law Reform; Louth, Fianna Fail):
The FOBT issue is a tiny aspect of the overall matter. As someone who has hardly placed a bet in my life, I would like to have the knowledge of——

Pat Rabbitte (Dublin South West, Labour):
The Minister probably played the little baby Jesus in the nativity play.

The same query also found:

Liz McManus: "Jesus, you are fierce cranky, there is no doubt."
Ruairi Quinn: "Single party Government, no thanks. Jesus Christ."
Martin Cullen: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph."
Ruairi Quinn (again): "I draw the Taoiseach’s attention to a last minute 'Jesus we forgot something, we’d better get it in quick' instance."
(The winner) Joe Higgins: It further beggars belief that he could not give it back. Did the Taoiseach ever hear of a bank draft? This morning it took me two minutes to draft the letter the Taoiseach could send with it: 'Ah Jaysus lads, you’ll have me in huge trouble if you don’t take back the €50,000.'"

I found another good quote from Pat Rabbitte, "Sometimes one gets the impression that the Minister for Transport, Deputy Brennan, gives the same amount of thought to policy initiatives in transport areas as Britney Spears does to marriage."

Music: Irish Artists On MySpace

2009-04-18T07:43:00.002-05:00

Some current Irish acts on MySpace, with a recommended track for each:

Jerry Fish & The Mudbug Club ("Back To Before" - great duet with Carol Keogh)
R.S.A.G. ("Days Go By")
Imelda May ("Why Don't You Do Right?" - cover)
Autamata ("What You All About")
Vyvienne Long ("Seven Nation Army" - cover)
Cora Venus Lunny ("Nana")

Actors: Quiz

2009-03-28T21:36:00.002-05:00

What do the following actors have in common?

Tim Roth
Eric McCormack
Denis Leary
David Spade
Mandy Patinkin

YouTube: Covers

2009-03-27T20:33:00.003-05:00

Some covers off YouTube.

Video: Facial Muscle Stimulation

2009-03-17T20:18:00.002-05:00

Four Japanese guys with their faces twitching in time to "music". How long before some band (Blur?) copies this for a music video? The top right guy looks like the most fun. They all favour thick black spectacles.

Law: Crazy Lawsuits

2009-03-15T17:34:00.003-05:00

D Magazine's Front Burner has a PDF of a crazy lawsuit filed in Dallas, "Corolone Inc., Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Buddy Busch v. Mahmound Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, Rod Blagojevich, Donald Trump, and James Goodnight." Among other things, it lists Osama bin Laden's address in Jacksonville FL (which happens to be the same as Corolone Inc.). It accuses someone of playing grab-ass with the First Lady. Oh, and features really atrocious spelling, punctuation and grammar.

In other crazy lawsuit news, moderately well-known lady singer Santogold had to change her stage name to Santigold after a lawsuit from the star of bizarre 1980s infomercials (and terrible dancer), Santo Gold. (His web site has a 'NEW "Hilarious" FUNNY SONG, SUNG BY SANTO GOLD Himself, Titled: "YOUR FIRED".' I'm glad it's both hilarious and funny.) You can read the entire press release, with really atrocious spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Media: The Irish Times

2009-03-09T22:17:00.003-05:00

If you accessed The Irish Times on a mobile device recently, you would have seen the odd juxtaposition of two unrelated ads: "Find Your Ancestors/Dating Service". Made me smile every time.

I can't find it on the web edition, but I did find an article by Kate Holmquist, wife of Rocky De Valera. Rocky de Valera and The Gravediggers have a new video on YouTube: "Baby Don't You Worry Bout A Thing", shot in beautiful downtown Howth. (I've been to that Centra!)

Young people today don't realise how scandalous it was for Ferdia Mac Anna to name himself after Dev. And now he looks like an old TD (although very few TDs wear an eyepatch).

Music: Fabchannel

2009-03-07T12:48:00.002-06:00

Dutch website Fabchannel, host of many great live concerts, is going out of business on Friday, March 13. Enjoy it while you can.

I'm currently listening to Elbow. Watched Bettie Serveert yesterday, and plan to watch Midlake and Spoon later.

An Awesome Attempt At Humour

2009-03-03T21:14:00.001-06:00

I have a sock that's in the Guinness Book Of Records for having been repaired the most times. It's the darnedest thing!

Internet: Rickrolling

2009-02-28T20:23:00.004-06:00

Have you heard of Rickrolling? A prankster sends a link that purports to be anything other than a Rick Astley video, but turns out to be Never Gonna Give You Up". What japes! Even Hitler got Rickroll'd! I like Obama's version - which led to McCain getting BarackRoll'd.

RickRolling can soothe crying babies.

Rick Astley took part in a live RickRolling at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2008.

Literature: Samuel Beckett

2009-02-23T23:21:00.002-06:00

The Irish Independent reviews a book of Samuel Beckett's letters.

One of his correspondents was his Dublin friend Mary Manning whom he kept informed as to the progress of his tour, the latest rejections of his novel 'Murphy' and the inexorable development of a boil he had "between wind and water".

That's the classiest term for the taint that I've ever heard!

Movies: Academy Awards 2009

2009-02-22T22:58:00.002-06:00

Stray thoughts while watching the Oscars.

I loved the Tina Fey/Steve Martin bit, because I love anything that sticks it to Scientology. Scientologists are idiots!
Jeers to ABC for showing Brad & Angelina while Jennifer Aniston was doing her schtick.
Did the audience laugh when the Art Direction guy said David Fincher was a wonderful human being?
That "Duchess" costume guy seemed a bit of a jerk - "We had great music by Rachel Portman but that's not it."
The Ben Stiller bit had great potential but went nowhere.
Even Baz Luhrman looked embarrassed by that dumb musical clusterfudge.
Joel Grey is tiny! I'd like to see the "Man On Wire" guy balance him on his chin.
Danny Boyle = Morrissey
Oscar song mash-up!
Kate Winslet is a big old fake. She is demeaning Hollywood with her fakeness.
Did Sean Penn say we elected the Elephant Man president? Just when you have him pegged as a bleeding arse liberal, he goes and insults Barack Obama.
Why do we have to see clips from former winners to appreciate this year's nominees, Stephen bloody Spielberg? It's all this montage crap that causes the show to run so bloody long.

Internet: Wikipedia Names Your Band

2009-02-21T17:56:00.003-06:00

Here's a fun time-waster, courtesy of the internet.

Go to Wikipedia. Hit "random". The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
Go to Random Quotations. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days". The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

There's a group of these album covers on flickr.

Here's my contribution. Band name = Surberg (municipality in Bavaria). Album title = "Administered With Subhuman Inefficiency". (Quote from Eric Ambler.) Cover is a beautiful black and white shot of an elderly lady walking through a rain-slick town square at night, with head down. I suspect Surberg are a post-industrial German band, who make experimental "found sound" collages, live in a squat, but go home to get their laundry done.

Lyrics Quiz: Making Love

2009-02-14T22:36:00.002-06:00

Just in time for Valentine's Day! (#9 and #10 have "Making Love" in the title.)

Cast my memory back there, lord. Sometimes I'm overcome thinking about making love in the green grass, behind the stadium.
Moving forward, using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best.
Making love in the afternoon with ------- up in my bedroom. I got up to wash my face. When I come back to bed, someone's taken my place.
We can funk until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone.
I crawl like a viper through these suburban streets. Make love to these women, languid and bittersweet.
A force from above, cleaning my soul. Flame on burn desire. Love with tongues of fire. Purge the soul. Make love your goal.
Making love with his ego.
A woman's love can lift you up, and women can inspire. I feel like buying flowers and hiring a celestial choir. A choir of castratis to serenade my love. They'd sing a little Bach for us and then we'd make love.
If I had those golden dreams of my yesterdays, I would wrap you in the heaven 'til I'm dyin' on the way.
And I know the roads to riches, and I know the ways to fame. I know all the rules, and then I know how to break 'em. And I always know the name of the game.

(2/21) And one more I forgot:

Drying up in conversation.
You will be the one who cannot talk.
All your insides fall to pieces.
You just sit there wishing you could still make love.

Radio: "The Story"

2009-02-12T22:47:00.002-06:00

Heard a fascinating radio piece tonight from American Public Media's "The Story". When she was 7, Andrea Richardson Stowers lost her military pilot father in an air crash. She has tried to uncover details of his secret government work, but the power of the story lay in the smaller dramas of loss, guilt and coping.

There is more about the USAF crew (and what they were doing) at the Arlington Cemetery site.

Safety: Level Crossings

2009-02-11T23:06:00.003-06:00

I challenge you to watch this video without exclaiming "Jesus!".

(Thanks to Neil for the link.)

Here's an Indian level crossing, and it's just as you would imagine.

This US video looks fake to me.

And finally, a brutal PSA from Australia.

TV: Game Show Ideas

2009-02-07T14:56:00.003-06:00

"Family Freud" - two families must psycho-analyze each other.
"Deeley Or No Deeley" - contestants must decide whether the show's hostess is, in fact, Cat Deeley, or one of the hundred other English people currently presenting US game shows.
"Cash Hansom Cab" - the History Channel's first game show. Contestants are transported in a horse-drawn carriage while answering questions about the 19th century.
"Depardieuy" - quiz where contestants must deliver their answers in the form of a Gérard Depardieu impression.
"The Leakiest Wink" - Wink Martindale competes against other people named Wink to see who has the best bladder control.

And a separate set of suggestions for BBC Northern Ireland:

"Countydown"
"The Newry Wed Game"
"Win, Lose Or Dromore"

Advertising: Cheers & Jeers

2009-02-03T22:12:00.004-06:00

Jeers to AT&T for their Pepe Le Pew commercial showing him being pursued by the female cat. He's always the one pursuing her! (Okay, maybe not always.)
Jeers to H&R Block for a series of ads showing shlubs bragging "I've got people". (Thus breaking my #1 rule for ads: never show unattractive people using your product.) This sauna one is the worst, because we have to look at the fat bald guy wearing only a towel. (It also really annoys me that I recognize him from somewhere - another commercial?)
Jeers to Budweiser for being Budweiser.
Jeers to CareerBuilder.com for their annoyingly repetitious ad from Superbowl XLIII.
Jeers to Pizza Hut for their series of "hidden camera" spots where "ordinary people" (aka unemployed actors) are amazed that the crap they just ate came from Pizza Hut. (These ads are better backwards because you get to see the patrons spitting out the food.) The ad I hate most is where Chef Elisabeth has her hipster friends try "The Natural". It's her hand motions that annoy me most. Folgers were doing this back in the '70s.

Film/Physics: "The Italian Job"

2009-01-24T23:57:00.003-06:00

"The Italian Job" problem solved. (How do they get the gold from the end of the bus (which is hanging over a cliff)?)
I agree with the commenter who wrote:

"So... once they've deflated the tyres and drained the fuel tanks (presumably over the edge of the cliff) how do they drive away with the gold? The winning solution has just replaced one problem with another."

YouTube: Wolves and Foxes

2009-01-22T19:44:00.002-06:00

I've created a couple of music video playlists for bands who are named after or sing about wolves or foxes. Enjoy.

Music: Country Lyrics

2009-01-21T22:10:00.004-06:00

Do you ever see or hear something so strange that it makes you think that either the world has gone crazy or you have? I had that sensation when I saw the TV ad for Snuggies. Truly a WTF moment. (And now I just saw the Slanket video.)

Driving home tonight, I heard "Mental Revenge", as performed by Waylon Jennings. Something about the lyrics struck me as just a little off. "So all in all, if the curtain should fall, Lord, I hope that it falls on you." That's stupid but funny, I suppose. "Well, I hope that the train from Caribou, Maine, runs over your new love affair. You walk the floor from door to door, and pull out your peroxide hair." Bitter! And then the chorus: "I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge. I will have sweet, sweet, sweet mental revenge." I'm not sure what "mental revenge" is. How does it differ from non-mental revenge? I think it was just my frame of mind, but at the time, this song struck me as completely nuts.

Shouldn't be surprised by the repetition of "sweet" considering the song was written by stammering Mel Tillis.

That song was immediately followed by Randy Houser's "Anything Goes", and that has great lyrics (written by Brice Long and John Wiggins). "Anything goes when everything's gone." It represents what I like best about country music - clever yet meaningful wordplay.

Music: U2 Cover

2009-01-19T23:10:00.002-06:00

Pitchfork reports that the cover of the new U2 album is a photograph that was previously used by some "sound artists". (They sound like white noise to me.) I'm sure this was an innocent move by U2, who, like the rest of us, had probably never heard of these pretentious tossers.

Didn't U2 get into trouble for "The Unforgettable Fire" photos by Anton Corbijn, because he was copying the technique of another photo artist? Now they actually pay to use the original photo and get (very minor) flak.

My only objection is that the album is called "No Line On The Horizon", and the photo very clearly has a line on the horizon.

Pitchfork mentions this happened before to Bob Dylan and Luna.

The same photo was also used by Fountains Of Wayne and The Flamingoes.

You can hear the new U2 single, "Get On Your Boots", on their site. I like the "sexy boots" line but "Kinky Boots" would be better. In fact, "Zip Up Your Mickey" would have been a better title for the song.

Music: "Running With The Devil"

2009-01-13T21:15:00.003-06:00

I've actually never heard Van Halen's "Running With The Devil" before, but someone must have leaked Dave Lee Roth's isolated vocal track, because it's all over the internet.

There's a Diamond Dave soundboard. Not sure if you could really make a prank call with it. (Although Howard Stern did one with an impersonator.)

Now someone has put the vocals to an auto-generated backing track, and it's awful. The software that created the music, Microsoft's Songsmith, has a cheesetastic promo video.

The DLR vocals have also been used in mash-ups with
the Beatles, Queen, Michael Jackson, and (the best of a bad lot) Stevie Wonder.

TV: "Countdown"

2009-01-11T23:01:00.004-06:00

I'm looking forward to seeing the new host of "Countdown", Jeff Stelling, on my next trip home. (I liked Des O'Connor more than I expected, Des Lynam was terrible, and Richard Whitely was a lovable idiot.)

Stelling is a sports presenter in Britain, and his Wikipedia page lists some of his "Dad" jokes, like "it looks as if Jellyman has thrown a wobbly" and (when Guy Branston was sent off) "he got himself in a pickle". He comes across as a nice chap in this Guardian interview.

The official photo of Carol Vorderman's replacement, Rachel Riley, doesn't do her any favours. Looks far too prim and proper. The Daily Mail has a high school photo for comparison. Then again, Carol had some awful '80s looks at the start.

Their first show is tomorrow, January 12.

Sports: Appropriate Names

2009-01-11T22:15:00.003-06:00

New York Giants DE Justin Tuck has an appropriate name. Did they create the Tuck Rule for him? Either way, he gets to start his vacation early.

And here's a cryptic crossword clue for Eric:

QB Pennington may scramble (6,7)

Music: Bonnie "Prince" Billy

2009-01-11T11:22:00.003-06:00

The stand-out track on Bonnie "Prince" Billy's latest album, "Lie Down In The Light", has to be "Missing One", particularly for anyone who has lost a parent. You can hear it at this blog.

Will Oldham played some acoustic concerts with his brothers in 2006. It seems to have been a tribute to their father, who had died recently. Mostly traditional songs. You can hear most of it at Aquarium Drunkard.

Music: First Aid Kit

2009-01-07T19:46:00.003-06:00

Charming video of Swedish duo First Aid Kit covering "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by Fleet Foxes. (And it's a bit late, but they also do a great "Blue Christmas".

(There's also a Nova Scotian band called the First Aid Kit (who don't exactly stand out from the crowd), an extinct post-punk band called First Aid Kit from Connecticut, and a Spanish electronic-ish band called First Aid Kit, who are actually quite pleasant.)

Crime: Mug Shots

2009-01-06T20:16:00.002-06:00

2008 Mug Shots Of The Year from The Smoking Gun. #16 is an excellent example of gurning. #8 is a model father-son relationship. But #7 is the most poignant - a single tear barely visible below the shades.

YouTube: Hank and Townes

2009-01-01T06:13:00.003-06:00

A piece in the Irish Times yesterday reminded me that Hank Williams and Townes Van Zandt both died on January 1 (1953 and 1997 respectively). Here are some YouTube highlights.

Hank doing "Cold Cold Heart" and "I Can't Help It", a duet with June Carter's sister
"Long Gone Lonesome Blues", set to home movies
"Be Careful Of Stones That You Throw" by Hank's alter ego, Luke The Drifter
Terry Bradshaw (!) covers "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry", and it's not bad
Townes performing "the first song I ever wrote", "Waitin' Around To Die"
"Pancho & Lefty" on TNN in 1993 (and Townes talks about the song)
"Kathleen", set to some B&W movie
Cowboy Junkies cover "To Live Is To Fly"
Emmylou Harris covers "If I Needed You" with Chris Farley/Steve Earle, which cuts to Townes in 1975

Sports: Quotes of 2008

2008-12-31T08:59:00.004-06:00

Mark emailed us this Guardian blog post with a sports quote of the year:

His classic reply to a journalist who asked "What does Chris Hoy think of Chris Hoy?" - "Chris Hoy thinks that the day Chris Hoy refers to Chris Hoy in the third person is the day that Chris Hoy disappears up his own arse."

(The item at the end of the post about Lance Armstrong is even better.)

The Irish Times has their sports quote of the year. Best Colemanballs quote:

"Paul Maloney has a look between his legs and he will like what he sees." - Channel 4's Derek Thompson on a race at Taunton. Lest you were wondering, Maloney's nag was leading by a distance.

Best put-down of an individual:

"Dirk Kuyt is earning himself the reputation as Anfield's Prince Harry - in the frontline for three months and no one knows anything about it." - Sun reporter Phil Thomas on Liverpool's hit-and-miss Dutchman.

Best put-down of a nation:

"They've won 40 per cent of their medals in cycling - if only there was snooker, darts and a dog show." - NBC presenter Jim Lampley on Britain's success at the Olympic Games.

Best joke by a septuagenarian:

"Ooh, Carol Vorderman, I like her. I was watching Countdown last week and I got aroused . . . seven letters wasn't a bad score, I thought." - BBC golf commentator Peter Alliss very, very nearly causing us to lose our lunch.

For more US-centric quotes, try the Chicago Daily Herald:

Herman Edwards, coach of the struggling Kansas City Chiefs, on whether he's a candidate for the job at San Diego State: "I've got a college team now."

Doc Rivers, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?"

This Arsenal fan site has a few good ones:

'They've kicked our backsides. Now we've got to lick our wounds' - Steve Bruce gives an unedifying image.

The BBC has their list, too:

"Brock's a big bloke, isn't he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you'd tuck him in!" Ricky Hatton during the Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Mixed Martial Arts fight.

"I've never been one for stats and milestones, I just try to do the best for my team. I'm the third fastest person in the history of the game to get 10,000." Ricky Ponting showed remarkable knowledge for someone who was not one for stats and milestones.

John Motson: "Bramall Lane is a fantastic place, and I believe one of the only grounds to host an FA Cup final and Test Match cricket." Mark Lawrenson: "Stay in last night did you, John?" During Sheffield United v Middlesbrough

The O.C. Register has a slideshow:

"I can't screw up Alabama. We're 48th in everything and Arkansas and Mississippi aren't going anywhere." - Charles Barkley, on his plans to run for governor.

"Manny Ramirez is not here. His grandmother must have died again." - President George W. Bush, at the White House ceremony honoring the champion Red Sox.

Music: Gramercy Arms

2008-12-31T08:30:00.003-06:00

The always reliable Chromewaves recommends (somewhat lukewarmly) Gramercy Arms. Perfect listening for this lull between Christmas and New Years. (Co-produced by Nathan Larson, who is Mr. Nina Persson. Very excited about the new A Camp record coming to the US on April 28th.)

Gramercy Arms even have a Christmas song with the singer from Mascott.

Covers: "Jailbreak"

2008-12-21T10:26:00.003-06:00

Norway's Susanna (of Susanna and the Magical Orchestra) has recorded a cover of Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak" on her new CD. Bonnie "Prince" Billy is on backing vocals.

The Cardigans covered "The Boys Are Back In Town", so we can infer that all female Scandinavian singers like Thin Lizzy.

YouTube: "This Old House"

2008-11-26T21:36:00.002-06:00

Songs called "This Old House" (or "Ole" or "Ol'").

Stuart Hamblen (1954 - I just know the Shakin' Stevens cover)
Neil Young (Farm Aid, 1987)
Madrugada (Norwegian band, 1999, check out their other videos)
Madeline (1993 - some French indie chick, I think)
Acoustic Dad - nice strumming. Annoyingly, reminds me of another song I can't quite identify.

Sports: Coach Facial Expressions

2008-11-26T21:34:00.001-06:00

Shells adds the scowl of an old college basketball coach, Eddie Sutton.

YouTube: "Whole Wide World"

2008-11-24T22:29:00.004-06:00

This is a little gem: Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby live in Dallas playing his biggest song, "Whole Wide World", as seen in "Stranger Than Fiction".

The original - how young he was when he was young!

Cover by Irish singer Gemma Hayes - "Ah, shite!"

Cover by the Monkees - is that Mickey singing?

Cover by the Proclaimers, proving (despite what Mike Myers might say) that something can be Scottish AND crap.

Cover by Laptop - at least he's trying to do something different with it.

Guitar lesson - only two chords!

Sports: NFL Coach Facial Expressions

2008-11-24T20:11:00.002-06:00

Sure, Bill Cowher's scowl was disturbing, the way the down-turned corners of his mouth appeared to go all the way to the edge of his face, like a pissed off Beaker.

And Tampa Bay's Jon Gruden has a really scary angry face.

But the one that gives me the willies is Saints coach Sean Payton when he sucks in his cheeks and purses his lips. (Yeah, he does look like Kenny Chesney. And I guess the look might be stolen from Zoolander.)

YouTube: Local 80s Acts

2008-11-23T21:43:00.002-06:00

Hey, remember the '80s? Doctor Proctor, Kansas City, MO band on local TV, circa 1984. Worth it just to see the lead singer. Wonder whatever happened to the bass player?

Here's a more sophisticated Connecticut band, Disturbance, from 1983.

Maryland, 1985, and Butch Willis and the Rocks - you have to see the back-up singer's technique. This may be the best song I've heard today.

In a different league is this Atlanta band, The Raves - good McCartney impression!

Essays: Innovation

2008-11-20T22:43:00.001-06:00

New Yorker article by Malcolm Gladwell on the subject of innovation.

YouTube: Dutch Music

2008-11-16T22:22:00.002-06:00

Music from the Netherlands.

The Tielman Brothers, "Rollin' Rock" (1960) (Dutch-Indonesian rockabilly - amazing!)
Golden Earrings, "Daddy Buy Me A Girl" (1966) (love the dancing chick!)
Golden Earring, "Radar Love" (1973) (they dropped the "S" - video with Spongebob)
Gruppo Sportivo, "Disco Really Made It" (1979)
Nits, "In The Dutch Mountains" (1987)
Bettie Serveert, "Palomine" (1992)
Bettie Serveert, "Under The Surface" (1992)
Carol van Dyk, "Silent Spring" (1998) (with John Cale)
Bettie Serveert, "Lover I Don't Have To Love" (Bright Eyes cover)
Chitlin Fooks, "The Battle" (2001) (Carol's country side-project)
Rock 4, "Paranoid Android" (a capella cover)

Bonus: Frank Black pays tribute to Herman Brood.

Nitpicking: "Literally" 2

2008-10-21T23:07:00.003-05:00

Okay, we've been here before, but Eric emailed me this Jerry Jones quote about Adam Jones: "He's literally on a high wire without a net."

And on "The Daily Show" tonight, conservative author Christopher Buckley said that after he publicly backed Obama, "quite literally, all hell broke loose."

And in the Obama piece, he writes about his editor, "As for Kathleen, she has to date received 12,000 (quite literally) foam-at-the-mouth hate-emails."

I can't decide if misusing "quite literally" is worse than misusing plain "literally", or not. Depends if you're speaking American English or English English:

Quite is used differently in English English and American English. American English tends to use the old meaning of 'absolutely, completely', whereas English English tends to use quite as a sort of begrudging 'fairly, adequately but...'.

There is a blog tracking misuse of "Literally", but they haven't posted since August.

(A Joe Biden speech - and may I say that Biden's prediction of an international crisis early in an Obama presidency was a huge gaffe, not because of any doubts that may be planted in voters' minds about Obama but because it confirms what a self-important windbag old Joe is. "Mark my words...Remember I said it standing here, if you don't remember anything else I said...I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it's going happen. I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate." The CNN report ends with: Biden appeared to forget Sunday night's fundraiser wasn't closed to reporters, saying, "I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here." It's not too late to dump Biden and pick Marlee Matlin.)

Small Towns: Hutchinson, KS

2008-10-21T21:43:00.002-05:00

Wow! Someone actually walks in Hutchinson, Kansas! "If they're having dinner out, she and her husband walk to the restaurant just like a couple in New York City." Goll-ee! Demerit for using the phrase "more unique".

The courthouse in Reno County had a bad smell. "Some witnesses, including Schroeder, an Oklahoma grad, likened it to a dead KU Jayhawk." Now why would a Kansan go to OU? That doesn't make sense.

Hutch (as I like to call it) was the birthplace for composer Steven Stucky. He's on YouTube!

And look! A cute college girl from Hutch!

Beverages: Zima

2008-10-20T22:58:00.002-05:00

RIP Zima. Used as the punchline in 9 Top Ten lists, most in 1994 and 1995. Never tried it.

YouTube: Road Songs

2008-10-19T15:26:00.000-05:00

Lars Bygden & Ane Brun - "This Road" (Read about her at the NY Times)
The Cardigans - "The Road" (One of my favourite Cardigan songs. Too bad we only see the back of Nina's head.)
The Cowboy Junkies with Ryan Adams - "200 More Miles" (For 20th anniversary of "The Trinity Sessions".)
The Highwaymen - "On The Road Again" (My least favourite Willie Nelson song.)
Katie Melua - "On The Road Again" (Canned Heat cover.)
Barrabas - "On The Road Again" (Spanish disco.)
Lightnin' Hopkins - "Lonesome Road" (And dominos!)
The Triffids - "Wide Open Road" (Perfect.)

Lyrics Quiz: Save

2008-10-16T23:53:00.001-05:00

Here's one I've been "saving" up. #1-7 have "Save" or "Saving" in the title. #8-12 don't.

"And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance. But fear is in your soul. Some people call it a one night stand. But we can call it paradise."
"We try to hustle them, try to bustle them, try to cuss them. The cops want someone to bust down on Orleans Avenue."
"When I think of those East End lights, muggy nights. The curtains drawn in the little room downstairs. Prima Donna. Lord, you really should have been there. Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair."
"Sooner or later, your legs give way, you hit the ground."
"Its not very easy, living all alone. My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own. But each time I try, I just break down and cry, 'cause Id rather be home feeling blue."
"Go on and close the curtains, 'cause all we need is candle light. You and me and a bottle of wine. Going to hold you tonight. Well we know I'm going away, and how I wish, I wish it weren't so. So take this wine and drink with me. Let's delay our misery."
"Though it hurts to go away, it's impossible to stay. But there's one thing I must say before I go. I love You (I love you). You know." (Video clue)
"There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. Because maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me."
"Jack, he is a banker. And Jane, she is a clerk. And both of them save their money when they come home from work."
"And some have sailed from a distant shore. And the company takes what the company wants. And nothing's as precious as a hole in the ground. Who's gonna save me?" (Not "Who's gonna shave me?" as some thought at the time.)
"Like a worm on a hook. Like a knight from some old fashioned book. I have saved all my ribbons for thee."
"Don’t help me - I can save myself. If I’m incomplete, don’t fill the gaps. Save me from the people who would save me from myself."

Bonus: The Triffids, "Save What You Can" video.

Well it doesn't look much like we'll see the New Year,
'Cos all the bright young faces are here.
And I can't see us rising to their occasion any more.
No, not their Christmas cheer.

Time is against us, even love conspires to disgrace us.
And with things being what they are ...
Yes and things being what they are

Oh my friend, we used to walk in the flames.
Now somebody's taken my arms.
The shadows are taller, you're missing your halo.
With your face in the half-light you look like a stranger.

You made me catch my breath just then,
You made me catch my breath.
Is that you... is that still you?

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

The final time we touch,
I watch as you enter the church.
You turn and you wave, then you kneel and you pray.
And you save of yourself what you can save.

If you cannot run, then crawl.
If you can leave, then leave it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
If you don't get caught, then steal it all.
Steal it all.

And between ourselves, and the end at hand,
Save what you can.

(Official website)

Music: Dukes

2008-10-15T22:54:00.004-05:00

I heartily recommend listening to the new album by Duke Special (click on the song titles in the ad on this page to listen). Reminds me of "Room To Roam"-era Waterboys. Just hate the dreadlocks. On "Later With Jools Holland". Covering "Video Killed The Radio Star" live.
Not to be confused with the Duke Spirit. Good record store appearance. Here they are trying to be the Velvet Underground and Nico. Another video.
Duke Robillard playing with Tom Waits.
And let's not forget the Dukes of Stratosphear, an outlet for XTC's psychedelic psyde. A video!
The original: Duke Ellington (with two other pianists on David Frost's show). And "Take The 'A' Train". And "Satin Doll".

Advertising: Sharp

2008-10-13T19:52:00.002-05:00

Why is Sharp using that freaky albino scientist (Dr. Gerard Fasel, in their TV ads? He's almost as creepy as the Lipitor guy. Apparently, he'll play an albino security guard in a movie.

Internet: Google 2001

2008-10-08T23:25:00.003-05:00

Google is celebrating their 10th anniversary by allowing users to search their oldest available index (from January 2001). A search for "Sarah Palin" returns zero matches. "Paris Hilton" returns one result about the "teen beauty" followed by many results for the hotel.

Video: "Take On Me"

2008-10-08T23:11:00.001-05:00

Literal version of aHa's "Take On Me".

Religion: Yom Kippur

2008-10-08T22:41:00.003-05:00

Last year on Yom Kippur, I went to see a Keira Knightley movie with a rabbi and the Prime Minister of Israel. The ticket collector at the cinema let them in, but then put out her arm to stop me following. "I'm sorry, sir," she said, "but this is the Jewish day of 'Atonement'."

Obituaries: Jerry Reed

2008-09-03T17:52:00.002-05:00

Reuters obituary for country singer Jerry Reed. Live performances of "When You're Hot, You're Hot" and "A Thing Called Love". He was in "Smokey And The Bandit" (as well as performing the theme song). And he even appeared in Scooby Doo.

Obituaries: Don LaFontaine

2008-09-03T17:42:00.003-05:00

Washington Post tribute to movie trailer voiceover artiste Don LaFontaine. (Via The Rich Girls Are Weeping.)

Politics: Sarah Palin

2008-09-02T23:38:00.004-05:00

Sarah Palin's Vlog (actually, comedian Sara Benincasa). "I'm a mother of five..five children I had myself." (Via Wonkette, which has taken to calling her a "snowbilly".)
Fake blog: The PalinDrome (cute). Guest post from "Todd", addressed to his pregnant daughter: "I will admit I was worried at first about this fiancey of yours. I mean Levi, thats not a normal name like Trapper or Hunter or Trigger or Scout."
The Guardian offers two actual palindromes.
The L.A. Times asks who'll play her in inevitable TV movie. No surprise - Tina Fey has a commanding lead.
Did McCain wince when he heard her screechy voice for the first time? Check out this video at about the 2:05 mark. And 4:12. She needs the same voice training they gave Margaret Thatcher. And why does McCain keep tugging on his ring finger?
The Anchorage Daily News has an article about her ex-brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten. Worth reading just for the subheading, "TASING THE STEPSON". That sounds like it should be a euphemism for something.
Updated 9/3: McCain has called Palin "spectacular". Must be a "Seinfeld" fan.

Lyrics Quiz: Mystery Theme 4

2008-08-31T18:41:00.004-05:00

A "mystery theme" quiz from Eric:

Mid-west farmer's daughters really make you feel all right.
Stopped into a church, I passed along the way. Well I got down on my knees, and I pretend to pray.
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast.
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow, I think I might be sinking.
Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation.

Bonus: alphabetical lyrics quiz by Matthew Baldwin. I don't know about you, but this quiz really does a number on my brain!

Internet: Sexy People

2008-08-29T16:40:00.002-05:00

OK, this is just mean: Sexy People - but the picture of the Cousins will bring a smile to your face. And what's with these Dutch girls with tiara and sceptre? (Via Defamer.)

YouTube: Neil Diamond Covers

2008-08-23T15:22:00.001-05:00

Covers of Neil Diamond songs.

Models: Sunshine Tutt

2008-08-23T14:50:00.004-05:00

Eric broke the sad news that ex-SNL star Chris Kattan is separating from his model wife of two months, Sunshine Tutt.

Signs that the marriage was doomed from the start:

He proposed on Christmas Eve in Gainesville, TX.
He addressed her as "bro" during the proposal.
At the wedding, Parker Posey was the Best Man.
The wedding photos were published in In Touch magazine.
Her name is Sunshine.
He was Mango!

Sports: Appropriate Olympics Names

2008-08-17T11:22:00.002-05:00

Eric points out that Men's 100m winner Usain Bolt has a most appropriate name. Although Dolt would suit him better. I cannot understand why you would ease up at the end of a race, no matter how big your lead. Wanker.

There's a female US runner (400m) called DeeDee Trotter.

New Zealand has a rower named George Bridgewater.

Australia has a Shooting competitor (a marksman) named Russell Mark. (Thank God he's not called Mark Russell.)

French cyclist Cecile Rode.

Does British swimmer Liam Tancock practise the backstroke in the nude? Perhaps with Aussie swimmer Natalie Titcume?

I hope Japan's kayaker Yuriko Takeshita does not have an appropriate name (even if Lisa Simpson could make an anagram out of it).

Music: Ryan Adams

2008-08-17T10:54:00.003-05:00

Ryan Adams has a new place for his crazy shit: drawings, tributes to his guitars, old photos, strange videos, incomprehensible gibberish. Here is a supposed Heavy Metal song, "Love Woman" by Sleazy Handshake - presumably Ryan his own self. "Stand Up (On My Nuts)" is better.

YouTube: Recent Videos

2008-08-03T14:35:00.001-05:00

"Rich Girls" by The Virgins. Video Hottie alert!
"Momma's Boy" by Chromeo. Good B&W animation, very retro song.
"White Winter Hymnal" by Fleet Foxes. So-so stop-motion animation by the singer's brother.
"I Decided" by Solange (Beyonce's younger sister). Cartoonish trip through the last four decades.
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" by She & Him. Gratuitous cartoon violence. We get it - you're a cute girl who wants to be taken seriously.
"Wake Up Call" by "Heroes" cheerleader Hayden Panettiere. It's bad when people compare your song to Paris Hilton - and, actually, Paris's song was better.
"Run Run" by Swedish girl group Those Dancing Days.
Cover of Blondie's "Picture This" by Robert Forster and Lisa Miller on Australian TV.

Thursday Miscellany

2008-07-31T20:46:00.003-05:00

Mixum-gatherum of stories from around the web, with a heavy porn flavour.

This one's for Woody: movie theatre has unintentionally dirty marquee.
Tape of drunk Larry King from many years ago.
Nicolas Sarkozy drunk after meeting with Vladimir Putin.
Google launches Wikipedia competitor, Knol (but not knol.com, which seems to be a Dutch manufacturer of masturbation aids). Knol's articles are written by experts, not the masses. The first article that caught my eye was one on Breast Augmentation. Despite their controlled commenting system, the first comment is "yay tits!". Other good comment about how the "before" pictures (supplied by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons) are "gray and dead-looking".
Meanwhile, new Google rival, Cuil, had a slight problem with gay porn images popping up in inappropriate places.

Harpists: Merry Miller

2008-07-27T18:26:00.003-05:00

Remember that embarrassing cable TV interview with Holly Hunter from a year ago? The interviewer, Merry Miller, is also an accomplished harpist. She makes music for babies.

I hope this new endeavour helps her overcome her moment of infamy. Sadly, it didn't work for Bill Buckner when he released an album of sea shanties played on the spoons.

Blogs: Patanoia

2008-07-27T18:24:00.002-05:00

Time for a new slogan for Patanoia, and time to retire "Compressed knitters humbling formica - reassured against the against, again with the sideswipe." It had a good run.

Emergency Calls: Drunk British Woman

2008-07-27T17:51:00.002-05:00

Gizmodo has audio of a drunk British woman calling 999 and asking when the internet started, "me darlin'". As they say, the operator is amazingly polite.

More Avon & Somerset Police videos.

Lyrics Quiz: Remember

2008-07-20T16:58:00.000-05:00

Do you remember there was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand. They used to talk about the weather, making plans together. Days would last forever.
Think of me as one you'd never figured would fade away so young, with so much left undone. Remember me to my love, I know I'll miss her.
That's 'Retha Franklin. She don't remember the Queen of Soul.
For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.
I remember way back then, when everything was true, and when we would have such a very good time. Such a fine time. Such a happy time.
I've played all kinds of palaces, and laid all kinds of girls. I can't remember faces, I don't remember names. Ah, but what the hell. You know it's just as well, 'cause after a while and a thousand miles it all becomes the same.
I can almost remember their funny faces that time you told them that you were going to be marrying.
Here as I sit at this empty cafe thinking of you, I remember all those moments lost in wonder that we'll never find again.
So long ago, I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend. Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease, as I listened through the cemetery trees.
Remember what the dormouse said. Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head.

YouTube: Pop Stars Falling

2008-06-30T15:09:00.003-05:00

Beyonce (poor quality but full points for fall)
Bono (walks backwards off stage - wish I could see the Edge's reaction)
Christina Aguilera (just a stumble)
Axl Rose (does he do it deliberately?)
Robbie Williams (but he carries if off with aplomb)

Bonus: models falling down.